Thinking and living deeply

There are the days when my emo teen feels like he will drive me round the bend.  Days when his sister "the tweenager" does the same.  There are also some wonderful conversations and experiences happening.

One convo that I treasure was with KC about a week ago.  He is thinking about the fact that next year he is old enough to get a job.  He wants a job  phone and knows he has to have a job to obtain said phone.  There are several markets in our community that are good first jobs for kids.  Rob worked at one of them and that may help the hire process as Rob was a great worker.

KC was concerned about how to address people.  He knows that if he is stocking shelves people will likely come to him and ask questions.  His concern was that in todays society, saying sir or ma'am might not be polite.  "What if someone is trans and I can't tell?" was his question.  I was so proud of him for thinking deeply about this, for having the compassion to see that speaking to people in the way they see themselves is important.

We talked about how the interaction in the job he is likely to obtain would not necessarily require sir,ma'am or anything to help someone out.  A friendly smile and a comment like "oh we have those in aisle 2 should I show you?" would work out just fine.  If it was someone he was meeting where a more in depth relationship/conversation was to unfold, it was totally fine to either use their name or ask how they preferred to be addressed. He is my sensitive, deep thinking soul.  But in particular this level of sensitivity makes me have hope in the harsh world we presently reside in.

Last night the two kids and I went to our church to help stock for today's monthly food pantry.  There is a ton of set up work to do and we have always had dance commitments that kept us from helping. With no dance in the summer and no camping trip this weekend we were free to help.  KC was a huge help lugging boxes, breaking down and disposing of recycling and keeping things organized.

Lissa and I worked together packing large boxes of eggs into one dozen boxes.  Then when we finished, she wandered over to a table where a bunch of store brand small pies were located.  Her sharp eye picked up on the fact that she saw one pie with mold on it.  She then decided to make it her mission to check every single pie to make sure it was safe and good quality.  There were a LOT of pies probably about 100.

I had finished my task and things were wrapping up.  We had a 30 minute drive home ahead of us and had worked for 2 hours.  I confess I was tired.  I asked her if she'd like me to help her finish up the quality control.  She looked at me and said "I've got this. I'm just fine.  Go find someone to talk to!"  (My love of chatting is fairly legendary in our home!)  It was clear that she really owned this job and that it was not fair to jump in and help.  I took her advice and found someone to chat with for the remaining 10 or 12 minutes that she needed to complete the job.

I am grateful that all my kids seem to mostly live with compassion and think of others.  We need that in this world.

"Some" of our "summer"

I used to write so regularly; how did life get so.darn.busy?  I think back on how people would say it "gets easier" when the kids get older.  I don't really think so. It just gets different.  I live in my car, during the "school year"  Lots of dance classes, Scouts, church and more make for very busy happy and engaged kids. There is Rob to get to and from the train station, and Fiona and Chet are in the mix as well.

So I am very grateful for summer. For the chance for the routine to change. It has still been busy but in different ways.  Evenings at a friends pool or the lake, a BBQ at our house on the 4th of July, and a BBQ at a friends house 2 days earlier.  There have been sleepovers and silliness.  There has also been time to read a book aloud together and Lissa and I are reading a series called The Last Dogs.  It is sort of a dystopian novel for the tween set.  Lissa is a huge animal lover and we are all ready on the second book.  She will literally listen to this series until all I can do is whisper because my voice has grown so tired!  All my kids can and do read on their own, of course. But there is something special about sharing a book together, snuggling as we read and wondering aloud what will happen next.

We are not camping as much this year as we are trying to save enough money for a month long trip across the US next July.  I so hope we attain this goal.  It will definately be a memory making experience for all of us.

KC is volunteering at the library again this summer and both kids have dance camp coming up next week as well.  Thank goodness for dance camp as KC in particular goes into withdrawals when he is away too long from the studio.

Tomorrow evening we will work at our church helping to set up the food pantry the following day. This is something we have long wanted to assist with but can't when dance class is in session as the times conflict. So tomorrow we will have a chance to tangibly reach out and help others.  While we always support the food pantry with donations, being part of the work is also very important.

Rob is a man now!

And still more celebrating!  June 2nd our Rob became an adult. The big 21!  I still can't wrap my head around that.  It seems just yesterday we were watching Little League games, planning summer camps, teaching him how to set up a tent, watching him fool around at the park with friends. . .

Truly the years go by so quickly.  I am grateful for each and every bit of them.  Even the hard times.  All parents have those and we are no exception. But he is an amazing guy.  Quietly funny, helpful, a guy who makes friends easily and goes to great efforts to keep connections.  He is a beloved big brother, though in his first family he was the youngest, in our family he is in the middle.  I asked him what he wanted for his birthday and he wanted a simple party at home with us.  Chinese food and his favorite kind of home made cake.

I have to say I kind of revelled in this.  I know the day will come swiftly now when I have to text him a birthday greeting or find him on Social Media and send my love to him that way.  So that we had one more year to smile across the table, and read silly fortunes from our fortune cookies--gee I feel like I got a gift as much as our son did!

That night he had a couple of friends over and they had a fire in the fire bowl in the back yard.  He had committed to heading up a fund raising dinner at our church the next day so I reminded him that he had a heavy obligation.  He gave me a funny look and reminded me that his girl friend is only 18 and that they would be drinking sodas.