Thursday, September 21, 2023

What's important

 Last Monday was pretty ordinary til about 5 pm  I went to work.  I stopped in to see my Mom.  I picked my daughter up at the mall from her job at 5  But right as she left work a heavy rain storm moved in.  Driving home became treacherous as roads began to flood.  I tried alternate roads with no success and finally got us safely home.  I was so thankful; I had  water was coming through the floor boards of  my car during the last part of our journey.  

When we got to the house we could see that our back yard was flooded.  Not just a few inches, but feet. The water was racing across the yard up the slope to our home.  Our street became a raging torrent. It did not even look like a road.  Cars began to stall out.  I called my wife who was at work in the next town over and told her to check in with me before she tried to come home from work.  In the middle of that conversation we lost our phone and internet. I was cooking supper also while all this was going on--food is always a priority! LOL  As I was making supper my daughter Elisabeth said she could hear things bumping in our cellar.  I went outside and opened the bulkhead (we don't have an inside access) and discovered the cellar was flooded to the second stair from the top.

We have a gas heater which was not on. And a gas hot water heater which had been on.  I have alarms down cellar if gas is escaping but those also were now underwater and unlikely to be functional.  I have no sense of smell so I would not know if gas was escaping.  I called the Fire Dept and explained. They said they would put me on the list.  I could hear sirens all over the city and I knew others were very likely worse off.  Supper was done, I had not used gas to cook it (thank you Instant Pot) We ate while we watched out the windows as the water roared like a river down our street.  I texted my wife that we were all ok but she should stay where she was.  

Hours passed.  Water crept higher.  I called the fire dept again and they said they would bump us to priority status.  A few minutes later I saw an engine up the street.  I ran up to them and explained.  They agreed to check our gas for us.  They used a meter and could not detect escaping gas.  However they also could not shut off my gas as the shut off and the meter are inside the cellar.  Evacuation was suggested but not made mandatory.  Truly I had nowhere to go with 3 animals, a disabled adult and my daughter and myself.  I suggested we shelter in place with doors and windows open.  The fire folks could not of course say that was great but there was no compelling proof that we would not be safe, particularly if we did not use any gas.

I slept rather little that night.  My wife called about midnight and said she heard a dam might break and that the water could potentially head to us.  I tried to sound super calm because she was hysterical. I said no one had come to talk about evacuation and that they surely would if that was immenent.  I fell back asleep but woke when flashing lights were outside.  Worried that this might be the evac order, I got up but it was a crew trying to get a submerged car out of the street.  I texted my boss that I would not be at the quarterly manager's meeting and gave a brief overview of what was transpiring.  I dozed some more til about 6 when I got up to try and survey the damage.

The water had receded.  There is a benefit to a clay floor in the cellar.  But the devastation it left behind was pretty massive.  I could not walk safely down there initially.  My wife arrived home and I said the first thing was to call for a dumpster because they were going to get rented out quick with all the damage sustained by folks in our city. The second call was to the plumber so we  could at least get hot water and order a new heating system.  The last call was to our insurance company. 

It turned out we were the first people to rent a dumpster. A 10 yarder was delivered early that morning and I called out of work and started filling it. Friends came over the next day and they helped continue that effort.  We got fans going in the cellar to help the floor dry but getting out everything that was wet was key.  By the end of the week I had moved out enough belongings to fill the dumpster 3 times. Wash rinse repeat.  On Saturday my friends came back and helped me move out the 2 fridges, the washer and the chest freezer that had been destroyed. The water was so strong it had tipped over the fridges and the washer!

I am looking at this as a great opportunity.  An expensive one to be sure as surprise! Homeowners insurance does not cover this.  One apparently needs flood insurance even if you don't live in a flood plain and have never had this happen in the more than 90 years that your family has lived in this same house. (I am not that old, I am the fourth generation to live here!)

I plan on repointing the foundation over the winter because hey, I like a project. Once that is done there are walls that I will insulate with rock wool and we can put in some new led lighting and make a decent workshop. My grandfather had put up paneling (which I have had to rip out) and instead I will use a plastic product that I used in part of our bathroom reno.  It is water and mildew resistant and a better choice for a basement/cellar area in my opinion.

Others had it so much worse.  Someone I know had a sink hole destroy the foundation of their home.  It is condemned.  Another person had their car swept away when the driveway gave way. No less than five people I know personally had cars flooded and totalled. My neighbors house is being worked on but was declared unlivable at this time. 3 families have had to find temporary housing as a result. I may eventually remember to post some pictures of right after the flood and after I cleaned it up.  We will see.  For now, I am simply hyper aware of our good fortune and that what is important is not things, it is family.




Tuesday, September 5, 2023

The Nest

 I watched the female cardinal yesterday
     (the one who raised her young in our burning bush)
The babies fledged--they fly albeit haltingly
     Looking back to mama.
She seemed to be ignoring them until Val
     our lean black cat sauntered past.
Then her body was on high alert,
     watching, making sure the young were still safe.
I wonder if at night she stretches her wings in her nest

and if it suddenly feels too large.

Sunday, September 3, 2023

The House of Tomorrow

 I actually wrote the previous post last Thursday but we got home so late that night that I forgot to finish and hit publish!  He has been at college now since 8/31  Move in went smoothly. They really have it down to a science.  I thought I would be carrying the furnishings and was a little worried as my wife's ankle is not good right now. But no!  They have a cadre of folks who help load stuff up and cart it to the room and all you have to do is put it away when you are there. Amazing! 

After the move in there was orientation and a lot of speakers and a delicous food truck supper.  Not going to lie though, driving away was hard.  Going to bed that night was hard.  And we have all missed him so much at so many times since he moved in.

But. . . he is supremely blissfully happy.  He is finding his tribe.  He has friends all ready.  He has plans and goals.  He is exactly where he needs to be at this point in his life. And incidently, yay for another successful homeschooler going to college!

And I am working on this new period in my life as well.  I have parented for almost 40 years.  I have forgotten how to NOT actively parent. LOL  Well, Elisabeth is still home but she too is so close to fledging and I am quite sure she will "adult" as soon as she is able.  

I have spent this weekend doing house projects with my wife.  Reorganizing spaces.  Building a new back step.  Repairing a back railing.  Taking down summer decor.  Putting away summer clothes and taking out the fall and cooler weather work duds.  Helping Chet wash the siding on the house. Hanging a new clothes line.  Cleaning our back storage room with Elisabeth. Bringing my mom her groceries and popping into work for a short bit on Saturday. Working on moving a ridiculous amount of pictures off my work phone onto my home computer one by one.

It's mostly all good, though I find I am somewhat lonely. It's okay.  As I told KC when he left, it is OK to be uncomfortable.  It's how we grow.  I will grow too.  I will gradually find new interests, people, experiences, that enrich my time.  I keep thinking of the poem by Gibran.  Our church uses this at child dedications:

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

I think til now I did not think of the house of tomorrow that I will not visit.  But I am always willing to be the stable bow.



Moving Day

 

It's move in day!  The car is packed.  Mini fridge, microwave, clothes, dance gear, pillows, bedding, stuffed animals, food and cooking supplies.  It's there.  We leave in about an hour.  He stripped his bed and the sheets are in the wash.  The bed that won't need to be remade tonight.  

I took this photo at the Jacob's Pillow center when we were there last week for the hip hop class.  Martha  Graham was one of the founders of the Pillow (along with Ted Shawn) and the quote actually refers to dance.  But it is also so true about parenting.  It's about helping our kids find their wings and take those first, sometimes halting flights to independence.  Not pushing out of the nest, but guiding them to the edge with encouragement.  Lifting up when the down drafts try and grab them helping them flap the wings just a bit harder.

It will be hard tonight when I go up to bed and I don't hear him in his room--music playing, or chatting with friends. I'm not sure what I'll do  then but I too will find my way.  This is a new place in parenting.  With a big family I have never even come close to empty nesting.  I need to be intentional about finding my new wings too.  I'm taking a dance class this fall.  That is one thing.  I'll find others as well.