So I have been quietly (well maybe not so quietly) obcessing over the questions I was asked when I went to ER with Elisabeth. Remember that this was an ER visit due to an injury not a situation where family history would have been germane. I was asked at intake in a very odd fashion if my daughter was adopted. This happened after I was asked if I was mom. After I had produced her health insurance card and my drivers license. Both documents clearly indicate we have the same last name. I swear, i really wanted to say I was married to a big handsome black man but I think Kirsty might have been miffed! LOL And I just feel the comment smacked of covert racism to me. If I had happened to adopt a child who was of the same racial heritage as myself, the question never would have been asked.
How do i know this? My coworker has also visited ER with her son. She was asked as i first was if she was "mom." She was never subsequently asked if she had adopted him. Her son doesn't really look like her. But he is white. She is white. Assumptions were made. And her ER visit was pretty recent so I would have to conclude that the "policy" of asking if the child was adopted (which is what i was told--that it was a field that had to be filled in--should have been in place then as well.)
Why does this bug me? Not because i am ashamed of adopting my children. Not because I want to hide the fact that I adopted my children. I am not, and even if I wanted to "hide" it, that would be pretty darn difficult. I am annoyed because we were treated differently than other patients and I feel that this was subtley racist. And I am further annoyed because I just answered the question. Well to be fair to myself i did ask why she needed to know and told her I thought it odd, but I still answered as though it was the right of the questioner to inquire.
There are times when I understand the need to know and have offered this information. When I brought Robbie to his glaucoma specialist for the first time, I explained that he was adopted and that we had no family history knowledge that would tell us if glaucoma ran in his family. That I had done my best to contact family who might know but hadn't come up with much data. That made sense to me. Glaucoma in children isn't all that common. And like heart disease and other such things, it can be something that is passed down genetically. And the info was initiated by me, not by the physician.
The second thing that happened which bugged me intensely was a comment by the doctor as we were leaving. He looked at my daughter in my arms and said "so where did you get her?" Now the rational part of me knows that this was likely intended innocently. I would like to credit the man with meaning "did you adopt domestically or internationally?" Right now we have styled Elisabeth's hair in braids with beads. It is a very ethnic look (and looks GORGEOUS, by the way!)
However this is the same dr who said he was not the best qualified person to read an x ray so perhaps I am being too forgiving! :-) What it sounded like to me was callous. Like I went to an animal shelter the way you would for a stray cat or dog. Or, as a friend said, like you looked on Craigs List! And what did I do in response to the question? I blurted out the state she was born in (which incidently was all ready on the intake) and left.
So I guess what it comes down to is I am most angry with myself. There is and always will be quiet racism. I need to be vigilent even when I am worried, frightened and stressed as I was on Saturday. Because it doesn't matter where it is, and it doesn't matter how many more degrees people have than I do. They need to be reminded with courtesy of the impact of their words and when and how questions of this nature are appropriate. Right now my daughter is only 2. I know she didn't notice. I know she didn't care. But what if she was 5? She would notice. She would care. And my responses of Saturday would have let her down.
Monday, March 9, 2009
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Chillin'
Lissa is in bed. I don't know how well or how long she will sleep tonight. I know that when I have a migraine every time I turn my head in my sleep i wake up. I would guess it might be like that with a sore leg too, but will hope for healing restful sleep for her. My arms are tired from lugging her around all day. I didn't feel comfortable putting her in a sling or a rebozo because I wasn't sure if it would be more uncomfortable for her and the poor punkin was uncomfy enough.
On the plus side, she wanted to be held. I consider all such times with my kids to have really good side benefits of additional closeness and bonding. Lissa is my most independent of children and though I certainly wouldn't doubt that she is bonded to us, sometimes a day like today shows you how much and how deeply the bonding is.
The other plus side is that holding her a lot gives me an opportunity to do what my kids call 'healing hands.' This is nothing that can be quantitatively proven scientifically and veers scarily into the woo-woo land but I can tell you regardless of that that it works. It has lessened Robbie's headaches, eased various aches and pains for KC and today helped Lissa. In fact I could feel her body relax and still when I did the treatments. Holding her so much allowed me to feel when her body was starting to tense with the pain again and I would repeat the treatment.
It is sort of tiring though after a while. It is a lot of conscious thought and energy work and I was glad when bed time came and she was down for the night. I have had a bit of time to relax myself and have restored my own mental energies with my favorite food to eat when stressed--Saltine crackers!!!
Tomorrow I have a meeting at church and I am supposed to help plan a retreat for the religious education committee. I have not really a shred of an idea at this point and not any firing brain cells at the moment to do anything about it. We will hope for divine inspiration while I sleep! LOL
On the plus side, she wanted to be held. I consider all such times with my kids to have really good side benefits of additional closeness and bonding. Lissa is my most independent of children and though I certainly wouldn't doubt that she is bonded to us, sometimes a day like today shows you how much and how deeply the bonding is.
The other plus side is that holding her a lot gives me an opportunity to do what my kids call 'healing hands.' This is nothing that can be quantitatively proven scientifically and veers scarily into the woo-woo land but I can tell you regardless of that that it works. It has lessened Robbie's headaches, eased various aches and pains for KC and today helped Lissa. In fact I could feel her body relax and still when I did the treatments. Holding her so much allowed me to feel when her body was starting to tense with the pain again and I would repeat the treatment.
It is sort of tiring though after a while. It is a lot of conscious thought and energy work and I was glad when bed time came and she was down for the night. I have had a bit of time to relax myself and have restored my own mental energies with my favorite food to eat when stressed--Saltine crackers!!!
Tomorrow I have a meeting at church and I am supposed to help plan a retreat for the religious education committee. I have not really a shred of an idea at this point and not any firing brain cells at the moment to do anything about it. We will hope for divine inspiration while I sleep! LOL
We go to ER
I know I should not complain. 4 kids and I have only been to ER once with a child before this. But I WANT to complain. Lissa tried to step off the couch this morning. From standing on the couch to stepping out into space--which of course resulted in landing resoundingly on the floor. Much screaming ensued, my Lissa is a drama queen. I can find no blood, no gore. The leg looks normal. There is no swelling or bruising. I am inclined to believe that she has a deep bone bruise. However I can tell my wife is not so sanguine about things and of course the fact that my daughter will not put weight on the leg after icing and tylenol is troubling to both of us. KC is anxious as I know he feels responsible. He was I suppose indirectly as he did the antic first. Being 4 he could do it and not injure himself. Being 2, Lissa couldn't.
Robbie had to be 20 minutes away for an all day youth rally so Kirsty took him there and took KC along for the ride. I explained to Chet that I was heading to ER with Elisabeth and we took off. The hospital is about a tenth of a mile from my home. It was about 8 when we got there. There was one person ahead of me and she promptly was whisked away to OB/GYN. I am hoping for a speedy visit. I am wrong.
There was a serious assault at our hospital recently and now entering it is very much like going to jail to get medical treatment. When you walk into the ER there is a policeman on duty 24/7 I actually thought he was there to bring in a patient but was informed nope, just to keep the peace ma'am. Gotta love it. I suggested to the nurses that the staff get some non violent martial arts training. There is a lot you can do to protect yourself without actually attacking someone. The hospital big wigs are looking into that.
When you finally get put into one of the little rooms there are not just privacy curtains but sliding glass doors, presumably to contain a patient who becomes violent. and there are pass keys and security codes to every part of the hospital now. So when you go to X ray you must be escorted because you can't get there without the code. It is sad. And sort of scary. It just has bad mojo.
We were there till 11:30 because more pressing situations came in. People who needed stitching up and such. The Dr when he finally saw us told me to make Elisabeth walk for him. I laughed. Here is someone who is not a parent! You tell me how you make a child walk. I said I can put her down but she won't bear weight on it and she sure as heck won't walk. She didn't either.
After an x ray to be sure he determined there was nothing seriously wrong. But of course he added there was no radiologist on duty on the weekend so if he was wrong they'd let me know Monday! Uh huh. One popsicle and a pinwheel later we were out of there.
The other weird thing was that when they did intake the nurse asked if I was her mother and I said yes. She did more questions health insurance stuff etc and then said "forgive me but I need to ask if she is adopted." I said she was but why the need to ask. She said she didn't know but it was on her form. Weird and I was not thrilled. She is my daughter. Period. And unless you are asking family history, which was never asked, the question seems superfluous to me.
But we are now home and after a short nap, Lissa is awake and very fussy. So I am off the computer and off to cuddle a hurting baby.
Robbie had to be 20 minutes away for an all day youth rally so Kirsty took him there and took KC along for the ride. I explained to Chet that I was heading to ER with Elisabeth and we took off. The hospital is about a tenth of a mile from my home. It was about 8 when we got there. There was one person ahead of me and she promptly was whisked away to OB/GYN. I am hoping for a speedy visit. I am wrong.
There was a serious assault at our hospital recently and now entering it is very much like going to jail to get medical treatment. When you walk into the ER there is a policeman on duty 24/7 I actually thought he was there to bring in a patient but was informed nope, just to keep the peace ma'am. Gotta love it. I suggested to the nurses that the staff get some non violent martial arts training. There is a lot you can do to protect yourself without actually attacking someone. The hospital big wigs are looking into that.
When you finally get put into one of the little rooms there are not just privacy curtains but sliding glass doors, presumably to contain a patient who becomes violent. and there are pass keys and security codes to every part of the hospital now. So when you go to X ray you must be escorted because you can't get there without the code. It is sad. And sort of scary. It just has bad mojo.
We were there till 11:30 because more pressing situations came in. People who needed stitching up and such. The Dr when he finally saw us told me to make Elisabeth walk for him. I laughed. Here is someone who is not a parent! You tell me how you make a child walk. I said I can put her down but she won't bear weight on it and she sure as heck won't walk. She didn't either.
After an x ray to be sure he determined there was nothing seriously wrong. But of course he added there was no radiologist on duty on the weekend so if he was wrong they'd let me know Monday! Uh huh. One popsicle and a pinwheel later we were out of there.
The other weird thing was that when they did intake the nurse asked if I was her mother and I said yes. She did more questions health insurance stuff etc and then said "forgive me but I need to ask if she is adopted." I said she was but why the need to ask. She said she didn't know but it was on her form. Weird and I was not thrilled. She is my daughter. Period. And unless you are asking family history, which was never asked, the question seems superfluous to me.
But we are now home and after a short nap, Lissa is awake and very fussy. So I am off the computer and off to cuddle a hurting baby.
Friday, March 6, 2009
TGIF
I hate weeks when technology causes more stress than any human being could on their own. I am so glad this week is over. 1/2 of my computer issues at work are resolved but the other half are not and it is going to be a long haul getting that fixed. I am so not techie. Nor, do I want to be. And the whole situation makes me feel anxious and sort of cranky. Lots of times when I feel stressed I get a bit hyper. I want to fix the things I can fix and fix em good and quick. So I am really really glad, that this time I didn't follow that path.
What happened is this. At the tail end of this crappy week, my boss sends my assistant to me with a form. A really stupid form that he is under the erroneous impression will make him fully cognizant of all that goes on in the office. He has spent all day creating the form. He loves the form. He mistakenly thinks my assistant can complete the form. She can't. She doesn't work with the data required on the form. I look at the form and want to cry. My boss is an older guy, easily threatened by anyone who seems to know what they are doing. He and I like one another but our working relationship is sometimes rocky. He assumes I am "out" for his job and has told this to many people. I am not. I have been offered the equivilent of his position and have turned it down. Right now the benefits to my family in time I can spend with them are far greater than the benefits of cash if I had to take on the added responsibilities. To me, the form is a sign that he doesn't want to talk with me. I would rather someone just ask me when they have a question. How freaking hard is it to ask a question? I spend the night having serious angst over the stupid form. My boss chats with others on the staff, seldom with me. A big part of this is that he is a chain smoker. Not only do I not smoke but for health reasons I prefer not to inhale all his second hand smoke. My boss genuinely disbelieves the dangers of second hand smoke. This also makes it difficult for he and I. He can't stop smoking and there is only so long I can make myself sit there in the haze. Our building is supposed to be smoke free but our company allows him to smoke in his office. I think they know he literally couldn't function if he didn't have a cigarette in his hand.
The next day when he comes in to work I go to his office with Stupid Form. I tell him that i want to be sure that I am giving him the data he needs and that I am not sure how to best do that with this form. He manages in the course of conversation to reveal that he thought this would make my life easier. He didn't remember that my assistant has other duties that don't cover this aspect of the paperwork and didn't understand that it would all fall on me. I managed to work in the fact that I would always be open to being asked a question if he felt there was something he needed to know. He said that he had seen how buried i was in paperwork and thought that this would make things easier. It won't. I will still have a form to fill out that I didn't before. Though at least I was able to help him craft it so it will hopefully know be representative of the real information he was looking for. And more importantly, I didn't damage a long standing work relationship by acting on my assumption that he was doing this because he was upset with me.
And now, time to clear my head of work junk and look ahead to the weekend. Time with the kids--well most of them. Robbie has a youth conference to go to tomorrow so I won't see much of him. But the littles and Chet and I will be here. And other than visiting www.sproutonline.com there won't be much in the way of high tech in my weekend! And that, as Martha Stewart would say, is a very good thing!
What happened is this. At the tail end of this crappy week, my boss sends my assistant to me with a form. A really stupid form that he is under the erroneous impression will make him fully cognizant of all that goes on in the office. He has spent all day creating the form. He loves the form. He mistakenly thinks my assistant can complete the form. She can't. She doesn't work with the data required on the form. I look at the form and want to cry. My boss is an older guy, easily threatened by anyone who seems to know what they are doing. He and I like one another but our working relationship is sometimes rocky. He assumes I am "out" for his job and has told this to many people. I am not. I have been offered the equivilent of his position and have turned it down. Right now the benefits to my family in time I can spend with them are far greater than the benefits of cash if I had to take on the added responsibilities. To me, the form is a sign that he doesn't want to talk with me. I would rather someone just ask me when they have a question. How freaking hard is it to ask a question? I spend the night having serious angst over the stupid form. My boss chats with others on the staff, seldom with me. A big part of this is that he is a chain smoker. Not only do I not smoke but for health reasons I prefer not to inhale all his second hand smoke. My boss genuinely disbelieves the dangers of second hand smoke. This also makes it difficult for he and I. He can't stop smoking and there is only so long I can make myself sit there in the haze. Our building is supposed to be smoke free but our company allows him to smoke in his office. I think they know he literally couldn't function if he didn't have a cigarette in his hand.
The next day when he comes in to work I go to his office with Stupid Form. I tell him that i want to be sure that I am giving him the data he needs and that I am not sure how to best do that with this form. He manages in the course of conversation to reveal that he thought this would make my life easier. He didn't remember that my assistant has other duties that don't cover this aspect of the paperwork and didn't understand that it would all fall on me. I managed to work in the fact that I would always be open to being asked a question if he felt there was something he needed to know. He said that he had seen how buried i was in paperwork and thought that this would make things easier. It won't. I will still have a form to fill out that I didn't before. Though at least I was able to help him craft it so it will hopefully know be representative of the real information he was looking for. And more importantly, I didn't damage a long standing work relationship by acting on my assumption that he was doing this because he was upset with me.
And now, time to clear my head of work junk and look ahead to the weekend. Time with the kids--well most of them. Robbie has a youth conference to go to tomorrow so I won't see much of him. But the littles and Chet and I will be here. And other than visiting www.sproutonline.com there won't be much in the way of high tech in my weekend! And that, as Martha Stewart would say, is a very good thing!
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Take Two
OK so yesterday was the day from h*ll. I spent most of the day dealing with tech support (kind of a misnomer in my opinion as they were not supportive or helpful.) What kind of company sends out a mandatory upgrade to their system and at the same time you install it you have to down load a patch to FIX it? Why wouldn't your techie geniouses have done it right the first time? But I digress. I went home last night feeling like my head was permanently kinked to the right from holding the phone there while I typed on the computer w/ the various techies impatiently giving me instructions. I filled a whole page with service call log numbers. The problem still exists and nothing has been resolved.
I decided I needed self medication. I had a bowl of ice cream after the kids were all bathed and ready for bed. I usually avoid icecream because of the migraine connection. I figure I am screwed for a headache after this anyway. So much face time on the computer and so much time kinking my neck, might as well enjoy the ice cream! LOL
I was going to watch a movie we had taped but KC showed up in the work room so he and I watched a segment of America's Best Dance Crew together. I love dance shows and he does too. He spent his time deciding which of the moves he thought he could all ready do, which he would have to work on and which he would never be able to do.
Then we went to bed. He woke up in the night with his ear ache bothering him again so I got him meds for htat. Then he woke up with a bad dream. Apparently he has the same dream over and over about a "bad guy" stomping our house down. Amazingly at 3 a.m. I was able to have a conversation about this. I told him that he could take charge of the dream cause it was his dream. He knew mom and i would keep him safe and he could change the dream so that we were with him and we stomped the bad guy instead of letting him stomp our house down. He cuddled and listened and went back to sleep . . . and woke me at 4 a.m. to tell me it worked! LOL
Ah if only solving my computer problem was so easy. Back to the computer woes. Lights camera action. take 2!
I decided I needed self medication. I had a bowl of ice cream after the kids were all bathed and ready for bed. I usually avoid icecream because of the migraine connection. I figure I am screwed for a headache after this anyway. So much face time on the computer and so much time kinking my neck, might as well enjoy the ice cream! LOL
I was going to watch a movie we had taped but KC showed up in the work room so he and I watched a segment of America's Best Dance Crew together. I love dance shows and he does too. He spent his time deciding which of the moves he thought he could all ready do, which he would have to work on and which he would never be able to do.
Then we went to bed. He woke up in the night with his ear ache bothering him again so I got him meds for htat. Then he woke up with a bad dream. Apparently he has the same dream over and over about a "bad guy" stomping our house down. Amazingly at 3 a.m. I was able to have a conversation about this. I told him that he could take charge of the dream cause it was his dream. He knew mom and i would keep him safe and he could change the dream so that we were with him and we stomped the bad guy instead of letting him stomp our house down. He cuddled and listened and went back to sleep . . . and woke me at 4 a.m. to tell me it worked! LOL
Ah if only solving my computer problem was so easy. Back to the computer woes. Lights camera action. take 2!
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Don't Talk to Social Workers on a bad day
Especially when they aren't really "my" social worker. I called Fiona's social worker to try and get more details. Fi said she was moving but was vague as to details. She is sort of vague about that kind of thing anyway. She can't read a calendar so I thought a call was in order. Of course my first chance to call was after 4 hours of h**l with my computer program for federal paperwork here at work. And after dealing with uncooperative federal beaurocrats about another work related matter. So needless to say, I was in fine fetter.
To the social workers credit she answered her phone. You don't know how huge that is. The previous social worker would NEVER answer her phone. I would leave at least 14 voice mails before I would get a call back. If I was lucky. Usually after 14 voice mails I would give up and try and get the info another way. So the poor woman answered. I explained who I was. Why I was calling. Was Fiona moving. Well yes she was but she (sw) and Fi's therapist had now decided to stop talking about it with her. The unspoken reason for that is they have now made Fiona start to freak out over moving.
I said it would be helpful to know when she moves as I write to her every week to ten days and I wanted to be sure she didn't stop receiving mail. SW agreed to take my name and number down again so she could let me know. And then, I don't know, aliens took over my tongue or something. Because the next thing I said was "so let me guess, you are going to put her in a group home with less supervision so she can destabalilze all over the place again." Silence on the phone. Finally I say "so what kind of placement are you putting her in???" Answer, "less restrictive group home environment." Yippee. This has happened twice all ready. Both times she fails. Hugely. Has tried self harm. Has tried to harm others. Has acted out sexually. Can not succeed with out a high level of structure and supervision. I wish I could really believe that it would be different this time around. But I have a hard time believing that. And the last time she was in a really crappy hospital environment for months and months before this placement came up. Sigh.
To the social workers credit she answered her phone. You don't know how huge that is. The previous social worker would NEVER answer her phone. I would leave at least 14 voice mails before I would get a call back. If I was lucky. Usually after 14 voice mails I would give up and try and get the info another way. So the poor woman answered. I explained who I was. Why I was calling. Was Fiona moving. Well yes she was but she (sw) and Fi's therapist had now decided to stop talking about it with her. The unspoken reason for that is they have now made Fiona start to freak out over moving.
I said it would be helpful to know when she moves as I write to her every week to ten days and I wanted to be sure she didn't stop receiving mail. SW agreed to take my name and number down again so she could let me know. And then, I don't know, aliens took over my tongue or something. Because the next thing I said was "so let me guess, you are going to put her in a group home with less supervision so she can destabalilze all over the place again." Silence on the phone. Finally I say "so what kind of placement are you putting her in???" Answer, "less restrictive group home environment." Yippee. This has happened twice all ready. Both times she fails. Hugely. Has tried self harm. Has tried to harm others. Has acted out sexually. Can not succeed with out a high level of structure and supervision. I wish I could really believe that it would be different this time around. But I have a hard time believing that. And the last time she was in a really crappy hospital environment for months and months before this placement came up. Sigh.
Sunday, March 1, 2009
A-Ha moment!
Some insurance company has an ad that uses that phrase. Today was that kind of day for us. It was a busy day at church. I woke with a migraine. The same stubborn one that has been in my life since Friday. Uck. The good news is it is not as debilitating as the last one so being good about giving up ice cream works. I could function. But still, I would like to not have migraines monthly. Guess I have to wait for my croning to happen though and that appears to be a "fur piece off" as my grandparents would jokingly say.
KC's church school class was scheduled to light the chalice at our church. I had told KC about this earlier in the week. He was a mix of excited and scared. Or deciding if he should be scared. I wasn't quite sure which. I reminded him how proud he has been watching his big brother light the chalice on different occasions and how excited I was that it was finally his turn. I promised to bring the digital camera to duly record the moment.
I could tell he still wasn't sure this a.m. when he cuddled with me, cried over nothing, and decided on comfy vs spiffy clothes for church. He is big on dressing up for church. Wearing something that felt like PJ's and looked only slightly more dressed up was a sure sign he was feeling insecure.
I always get to church early when the kids need to do something in the service. Gives a chance to chat with people and just take the nerves off a bit. So we did that. He chatted with his teacher and helped get his room ready for class. Then we went into the sanctuary. He had brought with him the headband with shamrocks attached via springs that he got at Big Lots yesterday. During the prelude he sat and colored quietly and just before his teacher (who was now sitting in the pew in front of us) turned around to tap him to go up with her to light the chalice. . . he slipped on the headband. ROFL The poor teacher was trying so hard to hold it togetehr and not crack up as he proudly got up, took her hand and went up to the front of the church. Little luridly green shamrocks bobbing merrily the whole time. In case someone is reading this who doesn't know me in real life, we are Unitarian Universalists so there was nothing disrespectful in what he did. It was just so very KC and so very cute. Meanwhile, there is Ooma in the pew trying to get a picture. I am so tech challenged I can't make the flash work on the stupid camera. So my son starts dwadling up there hoping I can get the promised picture! LOL Yup, this kid is going to wind up in performing arts, I just know it in my bones. One of the other kids in his class stepped in front of him to go down the steps of the altar right as the flash finally kicked in so I have a great picture of someone else's kid!
Then as if that wasn't a huge enough achievement for my usually clingy guy, but he walked right into his class room himself. I could just wave goodbye like all the other parents and he was off. Sniff. I was equal parts elated and a bit melancoly. My baby is growing up.
After church I had a meeting and KC and Rob played together w/ Robbies Nintendo DS while i was in the meeting. When I came out KC told me that he had "made a new pal" as he put it. He told me his name and that the little boy told him he needed a dream catcher because then it would hold all his bad dreams. Now I know about dream catchers and have made them with classes and with 2 of my other kids. Why did I not think of that? But I am thankful that the new friend mentioned it as we will now make one and thankful that KC was open enough to share in a safe environment so that resolution could be found.
And Rob had a great day as well. His class was making reverse masks. They did plaster castings a few weeks back of their faces. This week they were to decorate the outsides with symbols, art or sayings that would show the facets of their personalities that might ordinarily be hidden. Robbie made a list of things he felt strongly about and I went to a craft store and got some supplies he could choose from that might lend themselves to those types of interests or concerns. I tried to be fairly open ended in what i chose so that he would have to decide what the best representation was from a fairly wide source of media. For instance, he wrote nature, and i got artificial leaves, a thing that looked like a cut out of dune grass and a phrase about earth keeping. Any of them would work, but that way it was his vision. He doesn't like to try and choose in the stores; that gets overwhelming so it was sort of "shopping' from a smaller store the way I did it!
Anyway, his leader said that he came into the project with the clearest vision of anyone in the class and the most varied and interesting supplies. Supplies that he shared happily with friends so it was joy shared as well. I am just so glad that it went well for him. He doesn't really love art the way KC does. He didn't get enough chances as a young child to really nurture an imagination. And now at 12 there is lots of worry that his "art" doesn't look like real "art" whatever that is. LOL Having different mediums available so that drawing or painting didn't need to be part of the project made him really enjoy and own the experience which was hugely important to me.
So migraine notwithstanding, this was a standout day. And KC's steps toward independence help Lissa become closer to coming to church. I hope to start bringing her in April at the latest!
KC's church school class was scheduled to light the chalice at our church. I had told KC about this earlier in the week. He was a mix of excited and scared. Or deciding if he should be scared. I wasn't quite sure which. I reminded him how proud he has been watching his big brother light the chalice on different occasions and how excited I was that it was finally his turn. I promised to bring the digital camera to duly record the moment.
I could tell he still wasn't sure this a.m. when he cuddled with me, cried over nothing, and decided on comfy vs spiffy clothes for church. He is big on dressing up for church. Wearing something that felt like PJ's and looked only slightly more dressed up was a sure sign he was feeling insecure.
I always get to church early when the kids need to do something in the service. Gives a chance to chat with people and just take the nerves off a bit. So we did that. He chatted with his teacher and helped get his room ready for class. Then we went into the sanctuary. He had brought with him the headband with shamrocks attached via springs that he got at Big Lots yesterday. During the prelude he sat and colored quietly and just before his teacher (who was now sitting in the pew in front of us) turned around to tap him to go up with her to light the chalice. . . he slipped on the headband. ROFL The poor teacher was trying so hard to hold it togetehr and not crack up as he proudly got up, took her hand and went up to the front of the church. Little luridly green shamrocks bobbing merrily the whole time. In case someone is reading this who doesn't know me in real life, we are Unitarian Universalists so there was nothing disrespectful in what he did. It was just so very KC and so very cute. Meanwhile, there is Ooma in the pew trying to get a picture. I am so tech challenged I can't make the flash work on the stupid camera. So my son starts dwadling up there hoping I can get the promised picture! LOL Yup, this kid is going to wind up in performing arts, I just know it in my bones. One of the other kids in his class stepped in front of him to go down the steps of the altar right as the flash finally kicked in so I have a great picture of someone else's kid!
Then as if that wasn't a huge enough achievement for my usually clingy guy, but he walked right into his class room himself. I could just wave goodbye like all the other parents and he was off. Sniff. I was equal parts elated and a bit melancoly. My baby is growing up.
After church I had a meeting and KC and Rob played together w/ Robbies Nintendo DS while i was in the meeting. When I came out KC told me that he had "made a new pal" as he put it. He told me his name and that the little boy told him he needed a dream catcher because then it would hold all his bad dreams. Now I know about dream catchers and have made them with classes and with 2 of my other kids. Why did I not think of that? But I am thankful that the new friend mentioned it as we will now make one and thankful that KC was open enough to share in a safe environment so that resolution could be found.
And Rob had a great day as well. His class was making reverse masks. They did plaster castings a few weeks back of their faces. This week they were to decorate the outsides with symbols, art or sayings that would show the facets of their personalities that might ordinarily be hidden. Robbie made a list of things he felt strongly about and I went to a craft store and got some supplies he could choose from that might lend themselves to those types of interests or concerns. I tried to be fairly open ended in what i chose so that he would have to decide what the best representation was from a fairly wide source of media. For instance, he wrote nature, and i got artificial leaves, a thing that looked like a cut out of dune grass and a phrase about earth keeping. Any of them would work, but that way it was his vision. He doesn't like to try and choose in the stores; that gets overwhelming so it was sort of "shopping' from a smaller store the way I did it!
Anyway, his leader said that he came into the project with the clearest vision of anyone in the class and the most varied and interesting supplies. Supplies that he shared happily with friends so it was joy shared as well. I am just so glad that it went well for him. He doesn't really love art the way KC does. He didn't get enough chances as a young child to really nurture an imagination. And now at 12 there is lots of worry that his "art" doesn't look like real "art" whatever that is. LOL Having different mediums available so that drawing or painting didn't need to be part of the project made him really enjoy and own the experience which was hugely important to me.
So migraine notwithstanding, this was a standout day. And KC's steps toward independence help Lissa become closer to coming to church. I hope to start bringing her in April at the latest!
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