Lissa broke a bone

Our Dr. just called and Elisabeth broke the bone at the front of her left hip. It likely didn't show in the films they took the first time when we went to ER because the technician in radiology told me to leave her diaper on. The second tech had me remove it and it was clearly visible.

There isn't really anything to do for her. It doesn't need casting, but it does make me feel better because I knew something was wrong with the hip area. And I think knowing is always better than not.

The Good the bad and the Gimpy

Ok the good. Chet hasn't smelled in quite a few days so the re-training of shower behaviors must be working! Either that or (sigh) the cold thing I am fighting is rendering me insensitive to even the reek that he is capable of when not bathing properly. I am looking at this positively though and hoping it is door number 1!

The gimpy--Lissa is walking in a halting, unbalanced sort of fashion. I called our Drs office this a.m. Kirsty has severe laryngitis at the moment and it was easier for me to call. The funny part is though that because I never go to the doctor they didn't recognize my name, didn't know I was a patient etc. Pretty much my only physicals as an adult involved adoptions and since our youngest has been finalized for a couple years, they haven't seen me much! However they did remember Elisabeth and Kirsty and when they heard that she was not walking normally they immediately said they would order new x-rays at our local hospital and I could take her there directly. I took my lunch break immediately and brought her up.

I have to say that the radiology tech was way more with it than the one I saw two Saturdays ago. He spent considerable time lining up the machine to get the best possible films and seemed to really know what he was doing. He also had me take off her cloth diaper which the first tech told me to leave on. So maybe we will find something out and i will stop stressing. I keep agonizing over this; I think in large part because Lissa can't impart enough info to me for me to feel I am informed on what is going on . I have kept up doing the healing hands nightly and I have seen improvement from that as well. Can't tell my Dr. that though. Venturing into the land of woo-woo with a very straight western med establishment is not really a cool experience. You get the look that makes you think you have three heads for starters! But my feeling is that it is not hurting her and I have seen it benefit others so why not try it. Even my wife who is waaaay not into the land of woo woo (laughing here) let me do this when she tore all the ligaments in her ankle years ago and the doctors said they saw less bruising in the ankle than they should have given the scope of the injury.

The bad--Okay to omnivores this is going to sound stupid. But I am a vegetarian of 20+ years and so trust me to me this is not small .This is not petty ;this is not stupid. Every Tuesday after music class my family goes to Friendlys for a brunchy lunchy thing. They have waffles or pancakes or french toast. Every single week. Except this week Kirsty ordered them all chicken. In all its various fried forms. It came out at our St. Patricks day party Tuesday night. Something of a dampener to the Irish festivities. My non Irish eyes were sure not smilin! They still aren't. We haven't been able to talk this through because of her laryngitis. When she gets throat infections it is very tough on her vocal chords. This will I am sure be a lengthy conversation and presently after word #5 she has no voice. So for now it is the elephant in the room between us.

I am angry and hurt. We discussed vegetarianism years ago when we were becoming parents. We agreed mutually that the kids would be vegetarian like me and would choose if they wish to become omni when they are adults. Kirsty understands and agrees with vegetarianism in theory (and most of the time in practice). She is up on knowledge about the health bennies to living a vegetarian lifestyle. She herself typically eats meat once or twice a month but doesn't serve it here at home.

My kids have never asked for meat. Haven't acted deprived in any way. If KC did ask for chicken at the restaurant, he meant the kind of analogue we use here which looks surprisingly real. I always just tell him if a restaurant doesn't have veg chicken that they don't have the kind we eat and he is cool with it.

We rarely disagree profoundly on anything to do with our kids. I am not being smarmy; this is the honest truth. Part of that likely comes from all the homestudy work that adopting 4 kids engenders. I think way more conversations and soul searching take place in pre-adoptive couples than couples who have bio children but that is just my personal take on what I see with my own friends--definately not scientific analysis. So this has thrown me for the proverbial loop. And when I did say something to her about it the night I found out she said "oh shake it off." Which sounded so callous and like i was crabbing about unsorted laundry or something mundane. And I wasn't.

So I am left with feeling very angry with her and doing nothing about it because she is so ill at present. I hate waiting to discuss things. I hate going to bed at night feeling angry. So I hope her voice comes back and the rest of her good health so we can sort this out.

Lissa is still not walking

OK so Lissa is still not walking. Our Dr was back from vacation and we called his office first thing. K brought her over to an appointment with the nurse practictioner early this afternoon. I suppose I should be gratified that the NP and our MD are as puzzled by the situation as I am. The things that she can do or allows you to do to the leg indicate a fair degree of mobility without discomfort. Now one could argue that perhaps this is from the healing hands that we do nightly and the water therapy that i have been doing. Maybe. But the things she doesn't do concern me greatly. She doesn't truly crawl. She is hitching both her legs along in the crawl position but they are not moving independently. She can stand but she can not walk. It is clear that the left leg doesn't support her somehow. This causes her to sort of drag her right leg along because she doesn't lift it totally off the floor, likely for fear of losing what little balance she has.

They checked to see if there was a back injury which might lead to this. Nada. Again no obvious sprains strains or breaks. The NP and Dr conferred (truly if you knew the usual warp speed of appts at my doctors office you would get how they must have been truly baffled.) Finally they came up with the theory that Lissa is either a) afraid to walk or b) liking being carried and that the logical cure would be to have us carry her less so that she walks more.

OK, glad K was there and I wasn't. She spends HOURS folks in the living room with her brothers. Hours to play when she is in no way carried anywhere. And does she walk during those hours? Nope. Does she stand? Yup if she can hold something for support. I think that the Dr was not glomming onto the fact that this little girl has walked since she was 9 months. So although she is only a bit over 2 she is a very experienced walker. She doesn't or I should say DIDN'T have mobility issues. She was sure and fast on her feet. Very very fast. Which leads to the second reason why I think the theory is wrong. Lissa is fiercely independent. Sure she likes to cuddle. But way less than say, KC at that age. Had this happened to him and he wasn't walking 8 days later, I would buy the loving to be carried thing. Being honest here he STILL likes being carried! :-) But Lissa likes to walk up the stairs herself at night. Except she tried the other night and couldn't.

So I am still worried. I know in my gut that something is wrong here and I feel it is in the hip area. They have told us to call Friday if there is not significant improvement. I hope they are right and there is and that i am wrong. But I have little faith in western medicine on a good day and this isn't doing anything to change my views. If she hasn't improved I am going to suggest to K that we ask for a pedi ortho specialist referral. This doesn't seem like something that we should mess with indefinately.

On the plus side, K got an antibiotic for her sinus infection and the zinc I have been eating diligently seems to be working at keeping me healthy. (shhhh don't tell the germs they are losing!!)

Weary Weekend

I usually adore weekends, but this one, was really a tiring one. Saturday I had an all day retreat thing for church. It was not bad to be with these people and do this work. It is work I am passionate about (the education program for children and youth) and I like everyone I spent the day with. But I really really treasure my family time. And there was none during most of Saturday.

Kirsty had arranged to have the day off from work but in a further stroke of bad luck awoke very ill. I also felt anxious leaving her home to care for the kids with no help feeling as ill as she did. Being two of the last surviving americans with no cell phones, it also meant it would be difficult though not impossible for me to be contacted if she suddenly became extremely ill and i needed to bail. So there was stress there.

Lissa was on my mind all day as well. She hasn't walked since falling last Saturday. She has made steady improvements but it has been very unclear to either of us if the improvement is sufficient or an indication of something else which should be investigated further. Hamstrung by our physician being away for vacation we have waited out this week on pins and needles. Because I am a virgo and really anal I have made notes of everything i have noted in her abilities, responses etc.

All of which made it hard to be fully present emotionally and intellectually at the retreat, but I got it done. Not the best job I ever did facilitating a retreat but not the worst I have done either.

Sunday Robbie's coming of age class was making a trip to a large city about 40 minutes away. I needed to have him at church at 8:20 in the morning to board the bus. I promised Kirsty that I would bring not just KC with me but also Elisabeth and that way she could go back to bed and rest. I expected that Chet would be along as well; he normally is, but he declined.

I got up at about 6 and made a gigantic lunch for Rob to bring on the trip with him. They would be walking around the city all day and my guy can EAT! I baked up some cookies and made a big veg chicken sandwich, added chips, candy fruit and his water bottle. Made a big breakfast so he and the rest of the troops were stoked up to start the day. Except for KC of course, who can't stand the sight or smell of food till he has been up for at least 30 minutes. Got everyone dressed. Discovered about then that Chet wasn't coming. It was a lay led service and a fully musical program. The program was Vivaldi's Gloria. Chet announced he only likes Vivaldi's Four Seasons and therefore he had no reason to attend. Ok then! Got to Dunkins and got KC breakfast and the other kids the second part of their breakfast.

Headed to church and got Rob off on the bus. KC and Lissa and i hung around till quarter of 9 when the prelude started and we entered the sanctuary. Normally there is childrens programming for KC but not this week. However, I am a firm believer in exposing children to as many varieties of music as possible. I love almost all kinds of music even though I am totally unable to read music or play a note of recognizable music. LOL

I also believe that kids can learn to behave appropriately in mostly adult venues. I think many times we sell kids short and don't give them the opportunities to learn how to conduct themselves. Most times I think our kids want to behave as we would like them to and will rise to that occasion. I do have some spectacular situations with Chet which would tend to disprove that theory but I sort of regard him as outside the normative childrearing experience.

At any rate, dispite the fact that the service ran 15 minutes over, the kids were great. I do bring crayons and drawing paper but they are able to sit quietly. They also enjoyed the music and watching the violinist and the cellists. And the soaring melodies of Vivaldi helped wash away the stress and worry of the previous day. It was truly beautiful and transportive. I left renewed, and this afternoon had the added bonus of spending much of the afternoon at the park playing. So I am not so weary as I might have been and can face Monday after all.

The B.O. Battle

Some things have always been hard for Chet to wrap his mind around. He gets scientific facts. In fact he adores squirelling away what appears to be useless minute details of things so that he can share them at the oddest moments. But then there is basic living stuff that is just so. . . hard for him to really get. One of those is proper showering or bathing.

First we have the sensory issue stuff. I spent years working with him so that he would not either scald himself or freeze himself. He has a truly hard time feeling anything other than those two extremes. Our house has old plumbing. I couldn't just mark a place on the faucet and know it would work. It took a lot of practice. Up till about 14 I was still getting the water to the right temp for him, and showing him what was too hot and what was too cold. Thankfully he really did get that eventually. So I have hope that the next level can be achieved.

What is that? Well, just getting clean! LOL Sounds easy right? But it isn't. First there is the sensation of the water going all over you. Then there is the sound that said water makes in our tiny bathroom. (and for the record a tub doesn't do it either as we tried that as well) It tends to overwhelm him after a fairly short while and what he winds up doing is gradually washing less and less. Until eventually one of us--usually Kirsty--notices that he is a bit ripe. He doesn't notice himself of course.

On the plus side, Chet is not averse to direct conversation about body odor. He is not embarassed or alarmed when one of us politely but firmly tells him he smells and not in a good way. He will first assume you should wash his PJ's more than once a week. We explain it isn't the clothing that reeks. It is him.

And the only "cure" that I have found is to have him wear swim trunks into the shower and have me stand there and verbally cue him on the washing techniques. It is always readily apparent what he has forgotten by what i need to cue. And of course the reek is gone which is another clue I guess as well.

Luckily, he doesn't mind me being there and calmly saying things like "don't forget to wash your shoulders and behind your neck." "No don't dig your nails into your skin, you are cleaning not scouring" and other parental pearls of wisdom. He tends to remain able to do this on his own for a few months at a time, but then needs the refresher course, as it were.

This is the facet of his disability that was always hard in school situations and in his work. The goal of most areas of life is to teach and have the learning internalized in a pretty permanent manner so that the person can then function at that level on their own. To others it is maddening to have to go over the same ground rules over and over. And sometimes to me it is as well.

But mostly not. I'll take our small successes and because I am mostly a positive person I truly believe that we will eventually get to a point where he does this successfully and doesn't need me to remind him.

Of Pre-teen Mating Rituals

Well, maybe not exactly mating---at least I hope not! LOL But I have been watching Robbie and noticing how interesting that 12 to nearly 13 year old time is. On the one hand, Rob truly doesn't want to leave the safety of childhood behind. He also missed a bunch of things when he was under 5 that are very much the norm in our family. Thankfully he has managed to go through many of those experiences with his younger sibs. I never remark on how unusual it is for a 12 year old to enjoy some of the things he enjoys. I am just glad he enjoys them.

But Sunday I noticed that a new side of Rob is developing. He and a girl in his church school coming of age group are I think mutually interested in one another. Kay also happens to be adopted, incidently. It was fun for me to clandestinely observe their interactions during Fellowship time. They mostly consist of sitting together on the couch. They are happy to let KC join them apparently but he has to sit on the far side of Rob. :-) Kay does silly things like ask Rob to get her sneakers for her (what is it anyway with kids taking off their shoes at the oddest times?) Rob smirking back and pretending he has no clue what she is asking, and then ultimately delegating the chore to KC. KC is thrilled at being given a "job" and Kay acts outraged that Rob used his "little brother as a slave" which makes Rob laugh even harder.

Later in the day, KC was bugging me for gum. I don't give 4 year olds gum. I reminded him of that and he pointed out that Robbie had gum. I hadn't given Rob gum either so I idly asked how Rob got it. "Well Kay of course," KC announced in that "duh parent" voice that one does not expect from a 4 year old.

I know there are going to be times on this road that i am going to WISH for the naivety of younger child behaviors, but a big part of me is glad that he is feeling safe enough (or is that just hormonal enough?) to spread his wings a bit.

This hasn't exactly been the greatest of weeks thus far. I had a stomach bug; something I live in fear of passing on to KC who seems to have wonky digestive issues. Last year after a bug that laid us all low for 24 hours, he was the only one unable to recover well and wound up on 6 months of reflux meds because the acid balance in his stomach or something was so messed up.

So I have felt crappy and have been worrying about him. He is someone who is all over me (and everyone else!) most of the time so there is totally no doubt I have exposed him. Sigh.

Elisabeth is still not really bearing weight on her leg. She can sit unsupported. She can stand holding onto the side of the tub, but I can also see that the tub wall is bearing part of the weight. She is not taking pain meds any longer but whimpers when you change her position. She doesn't seem as uncomfortable when she has a diaper change. She can and does let me move the leg in the tub without showing any discomfort. A real mixed bag. The ER notes said to wait 3-5 days for improvement. We split it in the middle as today is day 4. We called our primary doc to find out the office is closed for vacation. Got the name of the covering Dr but that also means that he does not have her xray films--those were sent by the ER to our family physician. Also his office doesn't open till 9:30 and he is notorious for extremely long waits so this should be interesting. But I am not feeling that her recovery is moving along the way it should. When KC had a deep bruise from tripping over the cat last year he couldn't walk for a couple days but was then actively trying to walk and get back to business as usual. Lissa doesn't even want to try. She is a highly mobile child normally so this is odd and upsetting.

I definately didn't feel we got the best possible treatment at ER--but I also hate hospitals with a deep and abiding passion (fodder for another much longer post!) so I know too that I may not view any hospital experience with a clear and unbiased eye. Still. . . I want my baby tearing through the house again!