In that yin/yang thing of life, yesterday was a good news, bad news kind of day. On the huge plus side, Rob's ocular pressure is holding steady and he doesn't need to return till July. I am very pleased. I joined a glaucoma list when he was first diagnosed and by and large the parents on that list are dealing with situations much much more severe than his seems to be at present. But when you read about some of the meds, the surgeries that may become necessary, well it is good fretting fodder. Also I had Kirsty ask the Dr about the use of allergy meds. Rob has seasonal allergies and there are occasions during the year when it would be helpful to give him something for the congestion. I used to with no qualms until last year when I looked at the box and it had this big honking glaucoma warning all over it. Same with cold meds. So I essentially have not given him those meds. His allergies are so sporadic that I kept forgetting to have K check with his MD and see if there was an option. What I did to help alleviate symptoms was simply saline spray and a shower right off if we had been outside. Not ideal but got us by. And unlike K and I, his allergies are only a week here and there and occasionally a grass sensitivity if we have been in a field in high summer. (hence the shower when we would get home) So that is all good.
The bad news concerned my mom's husband. Ken is 95 and we have all known that obviously his time is coming. He has been in a nursing home facility for a number of years now when his needs became too much for Mum to handle at home. Recently due to some new health concerns he had some type of testing done and it reveals a cancerous tumor on the pancreas. He is too frail for surgery and the dr said chemo would kill him so the end is likely a bit quicker than we thought.
I need to figure out getting the kids (and us of course) up to see him again asap. We planned to visit a couple of months ago and then the nursing home was filled with a stomach bug and Ken himself was ill with it. After that was done, then various ills started through our house making it impossible to visit. Who brings sickness with them when they visit the elderly?
I am also trying to figure out the best way to talk about this with the kids. Before we see Ken the last time? After we see Ken? I am leaning toward the latter--I would want their visit to be happy (both for their sakes and for Ken). I know my KC will be taking this very hard. Every since he was a tiny baby he has had a very special bond with Grampa. They share the same name (though that is a bit of a coincidence because Kenneth was my grandfathers name and the impetus for KC's name) Also the nickname of KC was Ken's when he was a child. Another thing I never knew because I met him late in life and by then he was not at the nickname stage of his life! :-)
Mostly I just want Ken's passing to be as painfree as possible and for his family and my mom to manage to get along while and after this happens. They all seem to clash rather often and I know stress can make those type of situations even more volatile.
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Home with the kiddos
It always feels a bit odd to me when I am home with the kids on a work day. Not if I am on vacation but that odd--only here cause of someone having an appointment--kind of day. I can't really totally relax, partly because i know tomorrow is back to work. Partly also because I had to get Chet off to work by 7:15 or so. But don't get me wrong, feeling slightly odd and all it has still been nice.
Lissa and KC and I made a giant Easter bunny to decorate our front picture window. He is standing there painting an egg and there are a lot of tissue paper eggs and tissue paper grass underneath him. We went outside briefly and admired him; it is very brisk today. I am sick of brisk aka winter cold, but I know March is an up and down kind of month weather wise. It also wouldn't be quite so bad but the wind is whipping so much sand from winter storms around that I feel like I am in the Mojave desert or something. I worry about sand in the kids eyes too, so we are not taking a walk today or anything like that.
I had time to play with Lissa's hair a bit. We still haven't tried out all the new hair bobs we got! I also think I'll scoot over to youtube and see if I can find some info on straw sets. I read about it and it sounds like it would work for her hair but I can't quite visualize it from reading.
Lissa and KC and I made a giant Easter bunny to decorate our front picture window. He is standing there painting an egg and there are a lot of tissue paper eggs and tissue paper grass underneath him. We went outside briefly and admired him; it is very brisk today. I am sick of brisk aka winter cold, but I know March is an up and down kind of month weather wise. It also wouldn't be quite so bad but the wind is whipping so much sand from winter storms around that I feel like I am in the Mojave desert or something. I worry about sand in the kids eyes too, so we are not taking a walk today or anything like that.
I had time to play with Lissa's hair a bit. We still haven't tried out all the new hair bobs we got! I also think I'll scoot over to youtube and see if I can find some info on straw sets. I read about it and it sounds like it would work for her hair but I can't quite visualize it from reading.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Pressure Check
Tomorrow is a pressure check for Robbie. Ocular pressure to make sure that his glaucoma is under control. I will stay home from work and hang out with KC and Lissa so that Kirsty doesn't have to try and entertain active little people while spending considerable time at the specialists office. Or maybe not considerable time. We never really know. A lot depends on how his ocular pressure is maintaining. If the reading is good, as it was previously, then it might be a short appointment and they will be home in a few hours. If the pressure has risen then it is likely that they will do further dilation and check to see if there has been peripheral vision loss.
I always have his eyes in the back of my mind, I find. I am glad he didn't want to play baseball this year. Even though I think at one level it might have been good for him to push himself a bit, at another, he is right. There is a greater chance of getting nailed by a ball. A friend of mine has a son who played baseball and got hit in the face. There was some fairly serious injury to the orbital area. How that might play out when glaucoma is added to the mix might be trickier. I didn't share that with Rob. I tend to act rather matter of fact about things; the only thing I have said to him is that successful treatment of this illness is 99 per cent following the doctors orders precisely. If they say 2x a day 12 hours apart for the drops, that is what they mean. Since he isn't the greatest about remembering things, I tend to do the remembering for him. I hope for it being routine by the time he is on his own.
But in the dark of the night, before a pressure check, I always worry.
I always have his eyes in the back of my mind, I find. I am glad he didn't want to play baseball this year. Even though I think at one level it might have been good for him to push himself a bit, at another, he is right. There is a greater chance of getting nailed by a ball. A friend of mine has a son who played baseball and got hit in the face. There was some fairly serious injury to the orbital area. How that might play out when glaucoma is added to the mix might be trickier. I didn't share that with Rob. I tend to act rather matter of fact about things; the only thing I have said to him is that successful treatment of this illness is 99 per cent following the doctors orders precisely. If they say 2x a day 12 hours apart for the drops, that is what they mean. Since he isn't the greatest about remembering things, I tend to do the remembering for him. I hope for it being routine by the time he is on his own.
But in the dark of the night, before a pressure check, I always worry.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Super Sunday
One of the things that Ifind fascinating and exciting is that real friendships are not governed by age. When Chet was about 3, maybe 4, we met a young high school girl that we were interviewing for a child care position within our church. At the time, my wife and I co -ran the religious ed program for our small UU church community. I think she was about 16 when we met her, but maybe she was all of 17.
She had an amazing ability to work with children and to invest a lot of her emotional energies in them. I never met a kid who didn't think that being with her was fun. And my son who stumped so many people, fell in love with her. She connected with Chet and was able to handle and channel his eccentricities in ways that didn't make his differences a problem. Ironically although we hadn't been looking for a day care provider for our family, she did become this. Primarily bailing us out in the summers as Chet grew older she would devise lovely summer experiences for him. She taught him card games, planted gardens, assauged his desire to acquire milk bottle tops from recyclables by giving him a bucket on her porch for those "treasures." Both Kirsty and i were working in those years and knowing he was somewhere both safe and loved, was such a relief. By the time she did this for us, she was a young married woman. One year, she had her first child and I remember how she let Chet hold her baby when she first brought him home from the hospital. I remember the look of awe on Chet's face and still have the slightly yellowed poloroid of the moment.
Summers were the bane of our existance in Chet's younger and middle school years. There could be no summer camp. He got thrown out of the YMCA summer camp. They tried but they couldn't handle his behaviors, his lack of social skills, his--well his essential Chet-ness. He was too uncoordinated for sports camps and he was too young to be alone yet. Again and again she came to our rescue.
Through all those years a friendship really developed between us, despite a rather significant--okay--gigantic difference in our ages. Eventually she and her husband sold their house in our city and moved to the country. We saw each other much less frequently. By now Chet was not needing care, and it was at the odd moment that we would catch up with one another. However whenever we did, it was as if we had seen each other yesterday.
Recently she had a Pampered Chef party and we were invited. We couldn't make the party but we did place an order. She called and said she thanked us for the order but she was so sorry we couldn't come because what she wanted most was to just chat and catch up. So when she got her order, she called again and said she'd like to stop by with beer bread and a spinach dip and deliver our goods and visit.
And visit we did. We talked the afternoon away. Chet came down and chatted a while. She still does amazing child care for kids out of her home (how many day care providers do you know that look into music classes because the preschooler loves music) Despite being generations apart, we still have so much in common. I find it is often rare to find other parents who share my philosophies of child rearing. It was just fun to spend an afternoon with someone who did, and it was fun to keep the fires of our friendship burning strongly.
She had an amazing ability to work with children and to invest a lot of her emotional energies in them. I never met a kid who didn't think that being with her was fun. And my son who stumped so many people, fell in love with her. She connected with Chet and was able to handle and channel his eccentricities in ways that didn't make his differences a problem. Ironically although we hadn't been looking for a day care provider for our family, she did become this. Primarily bailing us out in the summers as Chet grew older she would devise lovely summer experiences for him. She taught him card games, planted gardens, assauged his desire to acquire milk bottle tops from recyclables by giving him a bucket on her porch for those "treasures." Both Kirsty and i were working in those years and knowing he was somewhere both safe and loved, was such a relief. By the time she did this for us, she was a young married woman. One year, she had her first child and I remember how she let Chet hold her baby when she first brought him home from the hospital. I remember the look of awe on Chet's face and still have the slightly yellowed poloroid of the moment.
Summers were the bane of our existance in Chet's younger and middle school years. There could be no summer camp. He got thrown out of the YMCA summer camp. They tried but they couldn't handle his behaviors, his lack of social skills, his--well his essential Chet-ness. He was too uncoordinated for sports camps and he was too young to be alone yet. Again and again she came to our rescue.
Through all those years a friendship really developed between us, despite a rather significant--okay--gigantic difference in our ages. Eventually she and her husband sold their house in our city and moved to the country. We saw each other much less frequently. By now Chet was not needing care, and it was at the odd moment that we would catch up with one another. However whenever we did, it was as if we had seen each other yesterday.
Recently she had a Pampered Chef party and we were invited. We couldn't make the party but we did place an order. She called and said she thanked us for the order but she was so sorry we couldn't come because what she wanted most was to just chat and catch up. So when she got her order, she called again and said she'd like to stop by with beer bread and a spinach dip and deliver our goods and visit.
And visit we did. We talked the afternoon away. Chet came down and chatted a while. She still does amazing child care for kids out of her home (how many day care providers do you know that look into music classes because the preschooler loves music) Despite being generations apart, we still have so much in common. I find it is often rare to find other parents who share my philosophies of child rearing. It was just fun to spend an afternoon with someone who did, and it was fun to keep the fires of our friendship burning strongly.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
St. Patricks Day Pic
Obviously this is rather out of order but we finally just uploaded the picture to the computer. Or rather Kirsty did as the whole techie biz about that baffles me! Anyway this is a picture of the leprecaun that i drew for our dining room for our festivities. I thought he looked cute but somehow he looks a wee bit menacing in the picture! LOL
Beaded Beauty!
I ordered a plethora of new beads and such for Elisabeth and they arrived yesterday. I couldn't wait to put beads in her hair today and try out the new beader tool so as she wiggled and jiggled and ate her breakfast, I threaded them onto her braids. She adores the clickity clack noise that they make when she shakes her head. She really wanted me to use the pink heart ones but she needs skinnier braids for those; they appear to have a slightly smaller hole than the translucent square ones. Here she is in all her beaded glory!
Friday, March 20, 2009
The chicken talk
OK all the omnivores who think I am a nut job can skip this post! Kirsty and I finally had The Chicken Talk. It has been driving me round the bend waiting to talk. I know that is from my past. When I was growing up my mom would just not talk to us when she was angry with us. She would say polite things like "please pass the butter." But not dialogue with us. And sometimes I genuinely didn't know why she was angry. I suspect that there may have been times that I assumed she was angry at me when in all reality it was someone else, but I digress. The point is, if I am upset or someone is upset with me, I want to get it out in the open, and get it resolved. I am totally cool with waiting a couple hours to cool down. Kirsty is normally the same way--in her house arguments were loud, vocal, immediate and quickly resolved. But in this case, I had to wait a number of days because K was genuinely too ill to speak.
Today was the first day she had any voice at all and I could not wait any longer. So we talked. I know she didn't get why her decision felt like a violation to me, but she got that it did make me feel that way. It hadn't occured to her that because we eat "analog" meat here at home (which means non meat based products that pretty much look like meat) that KC would think the chicken at the restaurant was like chicken we have at home. She noted that he didn't eat a lot of it and wasn't thrilled with it. I said the thing that bothered me most was being told to "shake it off." She explained what she meant and I respect the place she was coming from. And i know she was probably trying at that moment to use the fewest possible words due to how crappy she felt.
I think she is very clear that the kids will remain meat free until they are old enough to make an informed choice and if we are back on that page, I am good with that. I have a lot of faith in my kids abilities to reason out things healthfully and ethically. Robbie saw the movie Supersize Me and gave up McDonalds (even for non meat things!) voluntarily a couple years ago.
So it was in many ways a really yucky week, but it ended well. We have a diagnosis for Lissa which feels so much better than operating in the dark.
We have had a chance to talk and resolve one of the few significant differences that my wife and i have had in our 30 yrs together. Yup, 30 yrs. . . we are oooooooold! LOL Actually, we have been together since high school!
And in a totally unrelated note, I got new hair doo dads for Lissa. Gorgeous multicolored square beads that are translucent. And a set of beads in different shapes in various shades of pink--one of her favorite colors. However her hair stuff has been taking over the bathroom and finding a way to keep it together has been a challenge. K finally solved that today by finding a clearance priced ($4.00!!!!) fishing tackle box. It is perfect! We got all the things in it and they are all compartmentalized so neatly that it will be way quicker when I do her hair. No more rummaging for the rat tail comb or that one particular color of snappies. With her beads I also got these nifty gizmos that make getting the beads onto her braids so fast. I tried out a braid of beads when I was getting her ready for her tub and they went on in a flash! I had found them on line--our beauty supply place didn't have them, and until they came in I threaded them on manually. I suppose that was great for my dexterity but it was tedious!
Tomorrow Lissa wants heart shaped pink beads in her hair after breakfast so that is the plan before we sally forth to do our shopping and library run. It will be a much easier morning than usual as I did a few of the errands after work. I thought it would minimize the number of times I schlepped her in and out of her car seat and into a buggy or stroller. Too much of that might be uncomfortable right now.
Also Kirsty has the day off from work--Saturdays are usually just me and the kids--so it will be fun to have her here when we come home.
Today was the first day she had any voice at all and I could not wait any longer. So we talked. I know she didn't get why her decision felt like a violation to me, but she got that it did make me feel that way. It hadn't occured to her that because we eat "analog" meat here at home (which means non meat based products that pretty much look like meat) that KC would think the chicken at the restaurant was like chicken we have at home. She noted that he didn't eat a lot of it and wasn't thrilled with it. I said the thing that bothered me most was being told to "shake it off." She explained what she meant and I respect the place she was coming from. And i know she was probably trying at that moment to use the fewest possible words due to how crappy she felt.
I think she is very clear that the kids will remain meat free until they are old enough to make an informed choice and if we are back on that page, I am good with that. I have a lot of faith in my kids abilities to reason out things healthfully and ethically. Robbie saw the movie Supersize Me and gave up McDonalds (even for non meat things!) voluntarily a couple years ago.
So it was in many ways a really yucky week, but it ended well. We have a diagnosis for Lissa which feels so much better than operating in the dark.
We have had a chance to talk and resolve one of the few significant differences that my wife and i have had in our 30 yrs together. Yup, 30 yrs. . . we are oooooooold! LOL Actually, we have been together since high school!
And in a totally unrelated note, I got new hair doo dads for Lissa. Gorgeous multicolored square beads that are translucent. And a set of beads in different shapes in various shades of pink--one of her favorite colors. However her hair stuff has been taking over the bathroom and finding a way to keep it together has been a challenge. K finally solved that today by finding a clearance priced ($4.00!!!!) fishing tackle box. It is perfect! We got all the things in it and they are all compartmentalized so neatly that it will be way quicker when I do her hair. No more rummaging for the rat tail comb or that one particular color of snappies. With her beads I also got these nifty gizmos that make getting the beads onto her braids so fast. I tried out a braid of beads when I was getting her ready for her tub and they went on in a flash! I had found them on line--our beauty supply place didn't have them, and until they came in I threaded them on manually. I suppose that was great for my dexterity but it was tedious!
Tomorrow Lissa wants heart shaped pink beads in her hair after breakfast so that is the plan before we sally forth to do our shopping and library run. It will be a much easier morning than usual as I did a few of the errands after work. I thought it would minimize the number of times I schlepped her in and out of her car seat and into a buggy or stroller. Too much of that might be uncomfortable right now.
Also Kirsty has the day off from work--Saturdays are usually just me and the kids--so it will be fun to have her here when we come home.
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