We are all gifts.

In a week where two celebrities committed suicide, my social media feed is once more filled with PSA announcements on the lines of "hey someone cares, if you feel like this call this #" Or, friend to friend announcements of "I'm always there if you (and this is the general you as it was not intended to one specific person" want to talk.

And this is good.  But what I am wondering is what else do we do? Because i am willing to be the fashion designer and the chef who just died had friends.  In fact, as is also sadly typical, their friends and family posted on how they did not know something was wrong. That they had seemed so happy etc.

I know there are times when you know someone is going through a bad patch.  I have reached out to friends and coworkers who I can tell are stressed or upset.  But did I say enough?  Was the situation more emotionally painful than I realized and chatting over that cup of Dunks or on the lunch break was too superficial to matter?  I don't know.  And my natural New Englander reserve squirms at the idea of going back to them and trying to check further.

I seriously can't think of a way that doesn't sound super weird to start a conversation up again.  I mean do you just ask everyone who is having a really hard time if they are considering self harm?  And would people answer honestly or would they be offended?  I know I would ask my children. I know I would ask my spouse.  I am not sure I really would be comfortable asking anyone else.

I'll own that suicide puzzles me.  That level of psychic pain is thankfully something I have never experienced. And I believe profoundly that we all have a purpose on this world and gifts to give. Gifts we may not even know we are sharing.  So maybe part of my issue is  because I have never been in this emotional place? 

What I do know though is that we need to somehow do more.  I don't think Facebook posts will change anything.  I think a lot of people who kill themselves are really expert at hiding the level of pain from people who love them.  So I don't know what the answer is, but I sure hope someone comes up with something better than the memes I am seeing on social media. I want to be someone who helps; but I am truly unsure how.