Monday, May 28, 2018

Happy Anniversary!


Today was a big day in our house.  My wife and I celebrated 40 years together.  We began our lives together in 1978 and knew we were committed to each other and to the life we would make together.  In 2004 we were able to legalize that commitment and formally married.  But we did it on the same day we privately pledged to each other initially so that our anniversary date would always be the same.  The picture above is special because of two things.

The first is that KC created the arrangement (and in fact many decor arrangements around the house today).  He knows that I love to change out the decorations on our sideboard and the tops of cabinets as the wheel of the year turns.  As a gift to K and I he did this for us today.  I love the colors and all that he did.  The fact that it was his idea makes it especially meaningful.

The second thing that is special in this picture is the candle set.  This was made by a friend of ours as a special commission requested by my wife.  One candle holder is blue tones representing my wife. The other is the yellow and orange tones that I gravitate towards.  The holder itself is intertwined as we have become over years of laughter, tears, wonder and the magic of knowing it isn't all rose petals and swelling soundtracks.  We have been there for each other in the messy and in the exultant times.  Here's to 40 more!

Mum's Birthday

Time flies by.  I see the evidence of this nearly daily.  My computer runs through all my old picture files when I am not using it because the slide show is the screen saver.  Tiny KC tapping on the keys of a computer when he was still a toddler.  Tiny Lissa challenging the slide at the park. Rob at 8 playing baseball, and at 12 when he began to skateboard.  Blink and the next photo is Rob at prom, and Lissa as a Junior Girl Scout and KC as a confident teen in one of his many dance classes.

But time has not just flown for them.  It has also flown for our aging parents.  I noticed when my FIL came out for the dance recital this year that he looked --well, older.  He still bowls and is active but there is a new frailty somehow.  He does not look robust.  The years are whittling away at him. He has always been so vital and vibrant, that this new proof of mortality chills me.  He is my dad in so many ways, much more than a father in law to me.

Yesterday we went to Maine to celebrate my Mom's birthday. She turns 85 on the 29th  She too, is seeming older.  Movement is at times more challenging for her.  Her energy is less constant.  She has recurrent health issues that take her attention and energy.  Which is not to say she is helpless or on the verge of stepping through to the summerlands.  But I have the feeling that our time with both of them is precious and finite.

So today's trip was very special as Rob had the day off from work and was able to come with us.  So the entire clan was there, including Lissa's dog Luna who has captured my mom's heart--celebrating, laughing and of course, eating!

She enjoyed her gifts, but the best gift of all for her was that Rob could be there.  Often now, when we go up, he is at work and not able to be with us.  Her smile was a mile wide when he walked through the door.

I am really lucky that by and large my kids have always gotten how important being there for family is.  They make a lot of effort to be there for each other and for our extended family and I am so grateful. Likewise, extended family have been there for my kids.  Attending dance recitals, calling on birthdays, coming to visit and just always being interested in them.  It matters so much.  It really is a village that raises a child and I am blessed and my kids are blessed that the inner core of our village is so loving and constant for them.