The Revolution will not be danced!

 That was the title of the dance piece that my son choreographed taught to 11 other dancers and performed himself at college.  At  almost 12 minutes it was the  longest piece in the evening performances. They had asked that he shorten it to 10 minutes.  He refused and said that if he had to shorten it he might as well not perform it.  They looked at the outline of the piece and let him keep it at that.  The piece is about racial injustice and is very emotionally hard hitting--especially for a mom watching her son portray himself from the afterlife after being a victim of racial brutality.  Luckily, I knew what the theme of the piece was and what he was trying to get across.

What I did not expect was the maturity of what he created.  It's not just a proud momma here.  It was the best piece that night.  Both nights his was the piece that got a standing ovation.  His narrative was clear, the choreography was excellent as was his use of the stage.  He trained his dancers well--and boy his dancing has also reached new levels. He had mixed his own music, chosen the cues for the lighting tech team, and helped his team of dancers build props.   Is it weird to cry tears of joy while also knowing part of the tears are from the fear that I feel for all my kids when they are out in the world and I am not there with them?

His local dance teacher who started him on this journey at age 5 came to see it as did 4 other people from our city dance school.  My wife and I and his sister were there.  On the previous night good friends from church drove out to see it. 

He has been told by several instructors that he should enter the piece in several festivals that are upcoming.  He is thinking he may indeed do that. Today when I drove him back to school after a short home visit, he said that he has always known he wanted dance to be his career but wasn't sure what that could look like.  Now, at this moment, he said he wants to be a "dance storyteller."  I can see that in a lot of different scenarios.  For instance, working with kids and helping them dance out their traumas.  Creating dance stories for different life situations, dancing out news stories for social justice programs.  It could literally be anything, and of course right now, he does not have to pin that down.

He has been asked to teach a hip hop workshop this month at college for the dance club that is on campus. He has been hired to dance in another students division three project, truly he is growing so fast as a person and an artist that it is hard to keep up with it all. Our home schooler is thriving there.

Easter is the end of the month and while for our house hold that is not a religious holiday in the way it is for my Christian friends, we honor the rebirth of life and the onset of spring. I asked him to invite home any friends who might want to come for dinner.  So far we will have 5 friends plus the 6 of us plus my mom.  I am thinking a buffet style meal and have asked him to find out people's favorite foods so we can be sure that there is at least one thing everyone likes available to them!

Fledging kids and failing parents

 KC is loving this semester of college.  He loved last semester too, but there is a lot more actual dancing in these classes and he is totally loving it.  He danced a lot last semester but typically in opportunities beyond classes that he sought out for himself.  As predicted, the house is quieter (and cleaner!) 

I am feeling better and was back at my dance class this week.  But aging parents are also weighing on my spirit lately.  Both my mom and my FIL (who is Dad to me) are 90  Mom is beginning to feel either unable and/or unwilling to cook for herself.  She is looking into a meals on wheels type option and I have been bringing her food that I cook. (I chronically over cook anyway and usually freeze for the future or use for lunches so this is not hard for me.)  However seeing her slowing down is hard.

More worrisome is Dad.  Til now he has been robust, walking his small dog regularly, and while his vision and hearing are poor the rest of him was in good health.  Last week I got a call from Life Alert that he was in distress and that emergency services were dispatched.  Life Alert then called me back and said he was being transported to the hospital.  (side note: I can't say enough good things about this company! I set up his account when he fell a few years ago walking the dog and cut his head badly.  They have been nothing short of amazing to deal with and help my mind be at ease with him 40 minutes away)

It turned out that he had a bacterial infection in his bloodstream and he was hospitalized til Friday when they got that under control.  Now he is in rehab to try and build up his strength.  He presently has to use a rollator to walk and for him to return home, he has to be able to go upstairs for bed and for bathing. We talked on the phone today and he is in good spirits.  He is highly motivated for his PT as he wants above all else to get back home to famliar surroundings and his little dog.

But it has been a hard emotional hit watching the two seniors begin to falter.  K said Dad told her at Thanksgiving that he was ready to see her mom again.  (she passed many years ago)  I kind of freaked out when K told me as her Dad has always been there for me in all the ways you would hope a dad could or would be. I can't envision life without him.

Back to College!

 Bags are packed.  Laundry is done.  Lists are made and banking's done.  Tomorrow when I get home from work the house will be quieter.  It will be cleaner.  It will be emptier.  KC returns to college tomorrow morning.  I am excited for him.  This really is such a great fit for him. He has a great circle of friends. He has been able to focus on his dance in a way that no other college he toured would have been able to accommodate.  He goes back to school ready to work with 13 dancers that he has gathered to dance a 13 minute piece that he has choreographed and will also be dancing.  It is part of a dance program the end of February.  To hear him take calls with a lighting person, and discuss his needs and expectations so knowledgably is amazing.  Every time I see him, he has grown so much, as a man and as an artist.  I can't wait to watch his production.  I glowed with pride reading his evaluations from his professors.  It was wonderful to know that these people see the man I see.  The talent, the sensitivity, and the committment to art, and to social justice.  

His break has had lots of good things.  Time for him to eat lots of his favorite home cooked meals. Time for him to reconnect with friends here and to work at the store saving money for the next tuition.  Time to be part of our family holiday traditions and to go to the Big City to see a concert with his sister, a friend and me.  He passed his drivers exam and is a fully licensed driver. He visited my mom (his nana) twice and had long talks with her.  He visited his "home" dance studio and danced with them at local nursing homes bringing some joy to local seniors.  In fact he got so invested in talking to the seniors after the show that he is missing from the group photo of the dancers.  But that is KC in a nutshell, someone who more often than not works at bringing smiles and joy to others.

So it's all good, and I am only selfishly mourning the fact that he leaves tomorrow.  This is right and he is ready. As soon as I get over this crud that keeps me barking like a seal, I'll jump back into my workouts and my own dance class and I will find things to occupy my time.  I am always a little down in the dumps this time of year.  The unremitting cold wears on my spirit and my body, but the wheel will turn.  We are getting more daylight hours now than we had in November.  Spring will be here before I know it and he will be home and we will be celebrating his birthday with a trip to the Big Apple to see The Wiz!

This was the  one and only picture I got of the kids at the concert a couple weeks ago.  

Christmas break is ending

 KC has been home since the middle of December.  It has been such a joy to have him here again.  The house is louder when he is here. It is messier when he is here. But it is filled with laughter also.  He's had friends over and gone to other friends homes.  He has worked a lot of hours at the grocery store, saving diligently for college tuition bills. He has eaten favorite foods and shared stories about school. We have watched shows together and he, Elisabeth, their friend J and I went into Boston to attend a concert together.  He finished driving school and passed his RMV test.  It's been a break filled with fun, work and good memories.

He's starting to pack now as he leaves next Monday to go back to school.  His bedroom is starting to show signs of the pending departure and will soon be a lot emptier.  It's hard when he leaves.  Every one of my kids has their own place in my heart and the void when he is not physically present is pretty large.  After a few weeks I get used to it, but it takes a while. It was like that when Rob left too.

He's ready for the return. I can sense it.  In some ways, our city is too small for him right now.  He is eager for those new classes and dance experiences.  He has been working on the choreography for the piece he is creating for a winter show at the school.  It will be performed in February and he has 13 dancers that he is working with for this piece.  He had a phone conversation with the people who will do his lighting while he was home on break.  It is exciting to see him grow, stretch, and reach new heights in an art that means so very much to him.

Christmas Vacation 2023

 That old phrase about life is what happens other than your plans is so very true!  I planned a very different "vacation" from what actually happened this holiday.  But regardless, our family time together was amazing and wonderful and I am so very grateful. My company closed early for the holiday on December 22nd.  The doors closed at noon and I actually was able to wrap up my work and be out the door by 1:30 or so.  Those who know me well, know that is pretty unprecedented.  I usually work till near to our regular closure time but I was seriously excited for vacation!  I went to my mom's and got her shopping list, went straight to the grocery store and did her shopping and came home.

Meanwhile, my wife had taken Elisabeth to the podiatrist that day for a surgery on her foot. She had a growth which he thought was a wart but wasn't sure and wanted to operate on.  It wound up meaning that she had 5 stitches in the bottom of her foot days before Christmas.

Right after I got home with the groceries and got them unloaded, Chet came downstairs and was talking with my wife and I.  About a minute or two in and he began to say he was dizzy and very hot. We got him into a chair and seated and almost immediately he began to have a seizure.  I could brace him and make sure that he did not fall and my wife called 911.  It was only about 6 weeks since his previous serious seizure incident. The doctors had thought the seizure were due to his severe shingle outbreak and we had thought it was an isolated event.

Things worsened though and the EMTs decided he should be transported to the hospital.  Once there, they discovered he had dangerously low potassium levels (likely due to the violent voiding of his stomach after the seizures) They admitted him, put him on a potassium drip, and scheduled 2 MRI's, one without contrast and one with. My wife was with him for most of this; I was home taking care of Elisabeth and her stitched foot.

We were lucky that we were able to have him discharged before Christmas so we were all together, despite stitches and seizures.  Rob came down from Maine and spent Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.  I went and brought my Mom to the house to spend Christmas Day with us.  Despite the unexpected (which is what life is) we had a happy time and made wonderful memories.  

However my days off were filled with surgical follow ups, KC's annual physical, and Chet's drs appointments.  We are still waiting for a contrast MRI which will take place early next month.  The non contrast MRI showed some brain scarring and they therefore want a contrast.  He has started a low dose of anti seizure meds and thus far there have been no other seizures.  We have also practiced with him what to do if he feels like he might have a seizure as there are times when he is home alone.

What I didn't do on my vacation was work on beginning the repointing of our foundation. This was my hope but it was not to be.  But the foundation will still be there the next time I have a bit of time off!

Thanksgiving 2023

 What a wonderful wonderful holiday.  We were blessed to have KC come home on Tuesday night and for Rob to come in for Thanksgiving Day and spend that night here with us as well.  He was also here to help decorate the house for Yule and that was so special.

The house rang with laughter.  I'm still not used to how quiet the house is with only two of the kids at home.  We are still very connected--thank goodness for texting--but we are moving into a different phase of our parenthood.  So I savor all the times we are able to be together, bask in their banter, and make everyone's favorite foods.

This Thanksgiving was also special because my mom and my FIL (who is Dad to me) were here, as well as my beloved SIL.  We had two friends who are usually with us and who had to bow out at the last minute because of illness.  Truthfully with 2 90 year olds at the table I am grateful that they did, though they were definately missed. But my mom has not been at Thanksgiving with us in many many years.  She lived out out state and neither her husband, or later her partner were able to make such a long trek to our home.  I could tell that even though she lives close by now, she too was tired when the festivities were done. One thing that was weird and hard for me was that Fiona was not with us. She has moved to a shared living residence much closer to first family members and the Big City.  I truly can not drive there.  I also thought her first family were getting her for the day but she spent it with the family of her shared living provider.  She seemed to have a good day and we Face Timed each other, but I missed her.  I am not her guardian any longer but she is always my daughter in my heart and we are still in touch a lot.  Again, thank goodness for the Internet!

There was food aplenty.  We had many pies, I made three batches of parker house rolls, we had giant turkey, I made mac and cheese and sauteed greens. There were mashed potatos, squash, carrots and corn. I also made rolled sugar cookies shaped and decorated like fall leaves.  No one left this house hungry or without a doggie bag!

Thanksgiving night, I took down a lot of the harvest decor, the kids put the living room back to rights (we have to move out all our furniture so that we have room for the tables) and we watched our first Christmas movie of the season together--Spirited.  

Friday we did almost all our indoor decorating.  KC and I watched a movie together that night as well.  We adore the movie Jingle Jangle but are the only 2 in the family who love it so it was just us.  Rob headed back home to Maine and we all went to bed early!

Saturday I made the cemetary boxes, and KC and I went to my mom's and helped her decorate her apartment and had lunch with her. We had lots of time for KC to talk one on one with her about his college experiences so far.  He used to text her daily before school began and they are both missing the fact that there is not time for that now. While KC and I were gone, Elisabeth did an amazing surprise for me.  I always decorate the tops of our upper kitchen cabinets.  She got red ribbon and bows and turned the door fronts into lovely packages.  It really looks amazing and I absolutely adore it.  It is extra special as Elisabeth has never been one to be super excited about decorating.  KC has always been the one for that (and Rob's special thing is the tree) So to have her plan this herself and do it for me, is a huge and special gift.  That night we all went to see the new MCU movie The Marvels.  The movie has really been panned but we loved it and I suppose I would have loved anything really as we were all together and having fun.

Saturday night Elisabeth had her two best friends sleep over and this morning, I had to drive KC back to school.  He won't be back for two weeks as he has rehearsal commitments at school.  But he will be back the weekend of December 9th and his gift this year to Chet and I is to go see Elf on the big screen!  We are both excited for that. Elf is one of our favorite movies.  Can you get a sense for how really big the holidays are here?

Tonight it is back to reality.  Elisabeth has Friendsgiving with the Youth Group tonight and while she is there, I'll be at work.  I took Wednesday off and we were closed the rest of the week so I have had a long luxurious break from the office.  But tomorrow it will be busy there and I have no office staff in that day except me, so it will be best to have this done ahead of time.

I hope everyone's Thanksgiving was what you needed and wanted at this moment in time, and that the coming weeks bring times of light, and joy.

Friends and Family Performance

 Last night we drove out to the college KC is attending.  It is friends and family weekend there.  Lots of families are spending the weekend with their college student. We only went last night because our guy would not have been able to spend any time with us.  He was performing in a project called SEEP which was a dance program that was envisioned, choreographed, learned and performed in the same day.  They started work at 10 a,m. and performed at 7:30  

I waited eagerly for him to appear on the studio floor with the two other members of his trio.  As always, he is so compelling to watch when he is dancing.  His role was the ocean and his moves were so fluid.  But I am a mom.  Yes, I was also a dancer, but I always wonder if I am looking through the lens of love and it is biased.

After the performance he was introducing us to his friends who had come to watch him perform as well.  A woman who was unknown to us came up and wanted to speak with KC.  She asked what division he was.  He explained he was Div 1 (how they indicate first year students.)  She was visibly shocked.  She said she was a Div 3 and was putting together an entire show and wanted him in it.  She asked about the styles of dance he is familiar with and he told her what he has studied. She asked if he could dance house.

My son who was once so afraid to step on stage at recital confidently said, "I can learn."  They exchanged contact information for a deeper discussion to be had later.  It was everything that i hoped college would offer him.  He's well known as a dancer in our city, but our city is not exactly a cultural hub.  To be able to shine in a bigger pond and to be willing to take risks makes me so happy for him.