Today is definately not sunny out but at least (knock wood) it is not raining. This is important because today is Starburst, the big music and fireworks festival in our city. The kids and I look forward to this every year. It launches summer for us. The gates open about 4:30 and we are there usually by 5. My wife stays home and has some well deserved quiet time as she does not enjoy noise and crowds. Rob usually meets the kids he skateboards with down there. The littles and I play frisbee and blow bubbles and such. This year, KC is meeting his girlfriend there and her family and ours are going to hang out together to enjoy the festivities.
I have been cooking and getting ready for the event. We bring a lot of snacks and drinks, games and glow in the dark toys. Hoping the weather cooperates!
Saturday, June 14, 2014
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
Saturday revision
Well the weekend was full of excitement though the visit with Dee and Krystal did not come off as hoped for. Dee called me Saturday and was at the train station in the Big City. However Krystal had not shown up and was not returning his calls or texts. Anger with his sister was evident in his voice. as was his worry that the mix up was going to seriously upset Fiona. He was going to come out on his own, which would have been fine with me, but in a cascade of family crisis, his fiancee called in on his phone and was ill at work. She is expecting their first child and at that point I thought perhaps Dee ought not to come that particular day. I explained that training to us put him about 90 minutes from her and that it would not be fast, if he should need to get back to her. I said that Saturday was not like the only chance we had to come together. Fional is here twice a month, more if we can swing it with our schedules. We can do this and work it around Dee's work schedule.
I could hear his voice relax, and he asked if I would mind if he brought his fiancee out with him. After all, he pointed out, Rob and Fiona would be aunts and uncles and he thought it might be appropriate. I said it was absolutely appropriate and we would love to have them come out. He is going to let me know his work schedule, which he only gets a week at a time and we will set it up. Before he and I hung up, he spoke again with Fiona to make sure she was not upset. The level of caring this young man has is impressive to me. He and Rob seem very similar in that regard.
Once the phone call was over, I was talking with all the kids about Dee and his fiancee and the coming of the baby. Fiona is very excited to be an "auntie" and the little kids decided that of course they were going to be aunts and uncles too. Then as one, all 4 kids looked at me and said "and YOU are gonna be a gramma!" Which I guess in a roundabout way, I am. I am not quite ready to be a gramma, but I am pleased that we are a well quilted enough family that there is never a "whose family is that?" kind of question here. It is a given that we are all family.
Thankfully I also had a back up plan in case the visit went awry and I took Rob and Fiona to see the movie Malificent. She has been dying to see it and really enjoyed it. I actually did too--I loved the concept of the good and the bad inside of each of us. It is definately too intense for KC--those walking trees would just wig him right out--but still we all had fun.
I think that for Krystle the idea of coming here may be hard. We keep in touch electronically and by phone and have for years. But she was very nearly ours, and opted out. I know because she told me--that she regretted that at one point. I have tried to make it clear by my actions that I don't feel anger toward her and that I still love her and we are still family. But I think it may just feel hard to her and thus the 11th hour bail. I hope that after Dee and his fiancee have visited that maybe she will feel better about coming out. Or we can meet in the Big City and picnic on the common or something. I am pretty persistant--somehow I will find a way for her to feel good about being around us. It would be good for her and it would be wonderful for Fiona.
I could hear his voice relax, and he asked if I would mind if he brought his fiancee out with him. After all, he pointed out, Rob and Fiona would be aunts and uncles and he thought it might be appropriate. I said it was absolutely appropriate and we would love to have them come out. He is going to let me know his work schedule, which he only gets a week at a time and we will set it up. Before he and I hung up, he spoke again with Fiona to make sure she was not upset. The level of caring this young man has is impressive to me. He and Rob seem very similar in that regard.
Once the phone call was over, I was talking with all the kids about Dee and his fiancee and the coming of the baby. Fiona is very excited to be an "auntie" and the little kids decided that of course they were going to be aunts and uncles too. Then as one, all 4 kids looked at me and said "and YOU are gonna be a gramma!" Which I guess in a roundabout way, I am. I am not quite ready to be a gramma, but I am pleased that we are a well quilted enough family that there is never a "whose family is that?" kind of question here. It is a given that we are all family.
Thankfully I also had a back up plan in case the visit went awry and I took Rob and Fiona to see the movie Malificent. She has been dying to see it and really enjoyed it. I actually did too--I loved the concept of the good and the bad inside of each of us. It is definately too intense for KC--those walking trees would just wig him right out--but still we all had fun.
I think that for Krystle the idea of coming here may be hard. We keep in touch electronically and by phone and have for years. But she was very nearly ours, and opted out. I know because she told me--that she regretted that at one point. I have tried to make it clear by my actions that I don't feel anger toward her and that I still love her and we are still family. But I think it may just feel hard to her and thus the 11th hour bail. I hope that after Dee and his fiancee have visited that maybe she will feel better about coming out. Or we can meet in the Big City and picnic on the common or something. I am pretty persistant--somehow I will find a way for her to feel good about being around us. It would be good for her and it would be wonderful for Fiona.
Friday, June 6, 2014
Exciting News!
It was just another Friday evening. I was cooking waffles on our giant waffle iron. Fridays are always breakfast for supper here and rotate between french toast, quiche or other egg dishes, pancakes and waffles. Waffles are the most beloved of the options and of course the most labor intensive. Probably explains why I did not hear the phone ring or notice Rob go out to take the call on his cell. Next thing I knew he was standing there asking if Dee and Krystal, his bio sibs could come out tomorrow for a visit. OMG! Of course, I answered and now we are trying to coordinate train schedules and pickups. Fiona is here for the day tomorrow and this is so fantastic for all of them.
I have always been the one pushing the first family connections and i know at times, people have wondered why. Rob seems real settled. Yup, he is. Rob seems really happy. Yup, that too. Those two facts don't negate the fact that he has family beyond us, that he had a whole life before us. He doesn't seem to ask about them, maybe he doesn't care. Really???? Don't think so. I agree, that my quiet guy has never been the initiator. But I always felt that I had to be. So that he could see that he could have contact whenever he wanted, on whatever terms he wanted. So that he would know I am not threatened, angry or disappointed when he gets together with them.
I suppose it helps that I genuinely love both these young people. But even if I didn't, I would want this contact. They are part of the family, mine by the adoption of Fi and Rob, theirs by birth. We are stronger for the connections we make in life, and I am excited that we will all get to deepen these tomorrow.
I have always been the one pushing the first family connections and i know at times, people have wondered why. Rob seems real settled. Yup, he is. Rob seems really happy. Yup, that too. Those two facts don't negate the fact that he has family beyond us, that he had a whole life before us. He doesn't seem to ask about them, maybe he doesn't care. Really???? Don't think so. I agree, that my quiet guy has never been the initiator. But I always felt that I had to be. So that he could see that he could have contact whenever he wanted, on whatever terms he wanted. So that he would know I am not threatened, angry or disappointed when he gets together with them.
I suppose it helps that I genuinely love both these young people. But even if I didn't, I would want this contact. They are part of the family, mine by the adoption of Fi and Rob, theirs by birth. We are stronger for the connections we make in life, and I am excited that we will all get to deepen these tomorrow.
Wednesday, June 4, 2014
10 year olds and privacy
KC and his girlfriend D have talked on the phone almost every night. They are a hoot to listen to. There was a bit of trauma a few days ago when she invited him to see the movie "Malificent." He has zero interest in that and is petrified of the idea of seeing that movie. He is very easily frightened to put it mildly. I said he'd have to be up front and tell her he didn't want to see it. He was afraid to do that too but he did and she was fine with it.
Our town has a big fireworks event next Saturday. I suggested to him that we arrange to meet up there with her family and see the display together. So tonight, my sweet KC was sharing this on the phone with D. Apparently things got confusing to the kids about where we would meet, when we would get together etc. Meanwhile, I had adjourned to the bathroom. Next thing I know, the door opens and KC is standing there with the phone. He announces while holding the phone that D's mom wants to talk to me. I ask if I can do that in just a minute. Sure, he answers and says into the phone "she will talk to you as soon as she is done in the bathroom." I think I had a crimson face just talking to this woman on the phone afterwards.
Our town has a big fireworks event next Saturday. I suggested to him that we arrange to meet up there with her family and see the display together. So tonight, my sweet KC was sharing this on the phone with D. Apparently things got confusing to the kids about where we would meet, when we would get together etc. Meanwhile, I had adjourned to the bathroom. Next thing I know, the door opens and KC is standing there with the phone. He announces while holding the phone that D's mom wants to talk to me. I ask if I can do that in just a minute. Sure, he answers and says into the phone "she will talk to you as soon as she is done in the bathroom." I think I had a crimson face just talking to this woman on the phone afterwards.
Tuesday, June 3, 2014
Where they want to be
My Rob invited his friend J to supper at our house tonight. I don't mind--Rob does most of the cooking, I am more his sous chef and clean up crew. I was surprised as Rob has a date with his girl friend tonight and was leaving at 5. I know they are planning on eating out as though it was Taco Tuesday (practically a religious holiday at our house at present) Rob only had one soft taco and went easy on his spicy salsa. LOL
After supper all the kids goofed around and then Rob went to get ready for his date. Then he left for his date. His friend J is still here. We have had games of frisbee, he has played whiffle ball with the younger kids. Seems to be having a grand time. He and I chatted and he studied at the same martial arts studio where I earned my black belts so we have a bit of commonality there. I find it a little odd he would just hang here after his friend left, but on the other hand, he seems happy. I get the sense that there are some sad places in his life. He definately was not used to everyone sitting down to dinner together the first time he came. And there is an ease to the crazy antics at our house. So he is welcome to hang for a while longer.
After supper all the kids goofed around and then Rob went to get ready for his date. Then he left for his date. His friend J is still here. We have had games of frisbee, he has played whiffle ball with the younger kids. Seems to be having a grand time. He and I chatted and he studied at the same martial arts studio where I earned my black belts so we have a bit of commonality there. I find it a little odd he would just hang here after his friend left, but on the other hand, he seems happy. I get the sense that there are some sad places in his life. He definately was not used to everyone sitting down to dinner together the first time he came. And there is an ease to the crazy antics at our house. So he is welcome to hang for a while longer.
Monday, June 2, 2014
Happy Birthday Rob
I am excited for him as he stands on the cusp of manhood--18 is so near on our horizon now! But he will always be my boy. Tonight, we celebrate!
Sunday, June 1, 2014
Proms and Parties
Then home to have the teen start getting ready for senior prom. He was taking his girlfriend of 2.5 yrs. That is him, all duded up in a fancy schmancy suit just before he headed to her house. He even made sure he got a hair cut without being nagged by his moms so I would say he's growing up!
After K left to take him to TongYa's house, the littles and I went to work on his birthday mural. Tomorrow he is 18 but he still wanted a birthday mural and a family party. Hey, I'm glad our home grown and fairly simple traditions mean so much--I'll do that for you any day. We painted and used clip art and stickers to create a giant mural that pretty much encompased the interests that Rob has. Skateboarding, biking, music, cooking, camping and sports are all represented, as are of course, all of us (including pets)
Today we shopped for his gifts from the littles and got the other party decorations. Part of me can't believe he is turning 18, but we are going to have a blast celebrating that milestone!
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