Christmas Vacation 2023

 That old phrase about life is what happens other than your plans is so very true!  I planned a very different "vacation" from what actually happened this holiday.  But regardless, our family time together was amazing and wonderful and I am so very grateful. My company closed early for the holiday on December 22nd.  The doors closed at noon and I actually was able to wrap up my work and be out the door by 1:30 or so.  Those who know me well, know that is pretty unprecedented.  I usually work till near to our regular closure time but I was seriously excited for vacation!  I went to my mom's and got her shopping list, went straight to the grocery store and did her shopping and came home.

Meanwhile, my wife had taken Elisabeth to the podiatrist that day for a surgery on her foot. She had a growth which he thought was a wart but wasn't sure and wanted to operate on.  It wound up meaning that she had 5 stitches in the bottom of her foot days before Christmas.

Right after I got home with the groceries and got them unloaded, Chet came downstairs and was talking with my wife and I.  About a minute or two in and he began to say he was dizzy and very hot. We got him into a chair and seated and almost immediately he began to have a seizure.  I could brace him and make sure that he did not fall and my wife called 911.  It was only about 6 weeks since his previous serious seizure incident. The doctors had thought the seizure were due to his severe shingle outbreak and we had thought it was an isolated event.

Things worsened though and the EMTs decided he should be transported to the hospital.  Once there, they discovered he had dangerously low potassium levels (likely due to the violent voiding of his stomach after the seizures) They admitted him, put him on a potassium drip, and scheduled 2 MRI's, one without contrast and one with. My wife was with him for most of this; I was home taking care of Elisabeth and her stitched foot.

We were lucky that we were able to have him discharged before Christmas so we were all together, despite stitches and seizures.  Rob came down from Maine and spent Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.  I went and brought my Mom to the house to spend Christmas Day with us.  Despite the unexpected (which is what life is) we had a happy time and made wonderful memories.  

However my days off were filled with surgical follow ups, KC's annual physical, and Chet's drs appointments.  We are still waiting for a contrast MRI which will take place early next month.  The non contrast MRI showed some brain scarring and they therefore want a contrast.  He has started a low dose of anti seizure meds and thus far there have been no other seizures.  We have also practiced with him what to do if he feels like he might have a seizure as there are times when he is home alone.

What I didn't do on my vacation was work on beginning the repointing of our foundation. This was my hope but it was not to be.  But the foundation will still be there the next time I have a bit of time off!

Thanksgiving 2023

 What a wonderful wonderful holiday.  We were blessed to have KC come home on Tuesday night and for Rob to come in for Thanksgiving Day and spend that night here with us as well.  He was also here to help decorate the house for Yule and that was so special.

The house rang with laughter.  I'm still not used to how quiet the house is with only two of the kids at home.  We are still very connected--thank goodness for texting--but we are moving into a different phase of our parenthood.  So I savor all the times we are able to be together, bask in their banter, and make everyone's favorite foods.

This Thanksgiving was also special because my mom and my FIL (who is Dad to me) were here, as well as my beloved SIL.  We had two friends who are usually with us and who had to bow out at the last minute because of illness.  Truthfully with 2 90 year olds at the table I am grateful that they did, though they were definately missed. But my mom has not been at Thanksgiving with us in many many years.  She lived out out state and neither her husband, or later her partner were able to make such a long trek to our home.  I could tell that even though she lives close by now, she too was tired when the festivities were done. One thing that was weird and hard for me was that Fiona was not with us. She has moved to a shared living residence much closer to first family members and the Big City.  I truly can not drive there.  I also thought her first family were getting her for the day but she spent it with the family of her shared living provider.  She seemed to have a good day and we Face Timed each other, but I missed her.  I am not her guardian any longer but she is always my daughter in my heart and we are still in touch a lot.  Again, thank goodness for the Internet!

There was food aplenty.  We had many pies, I made three batches of parker house rolls, we had giant turkey, I made mac and cheese and sauteed greens. There were mashed potatos, squash, carrots and corn. I also made rolled sugar cookies shaped and decorated like fall leaves.  No one left this house hungry or without a doggie bag!

Thanksgiving night, I took down a lot of the harvest decor, the kids put the living room back to rights (we have to move out all our furniture so that we have room for the tables) and we watched our first Christmas movie of the season together--Spirited.  

Friday we did almost all our indoor decorating.  KC and I watched a movie together that night as well.  We adore the movie Jingle Jangle but are the only 2 in the family who love it so it was just us.  Rob headed back home to Maine and we all went to bed early!

Saturday I made the cemetary boxes, and KC and I went to my mom's and helped her decorate her apartment and had lunch with her. We had lots of time for KC to talk one on one with her about his college experiences so far.  He used to text her daily before school began and they are both missing the fact that there is not time for that now. While KC and I were gone, Elisabeth did an amazing surprise for me.  I always decorate the tops of our upper kitchen cabinets.  She got red ribbon and bows and turned the door fronts into lovely packages.  It really looks amazing and I absolutely adore it.  It is extra special as Elisabeth has never been one to be super excited about decorating.  KC has always been the one for that (and Rob's special thing is the tree) So to have her plan this herself and do it for me, is a huge and special gift.  That night we all went to see the new MCU movie The Marvels.  The movie has really been panned but we loved it and I suppose I would have loved anything really as we were all together and having fun.

Saturday night Elisabeth had her two best friends sleep over and this morning, I had to drive KC back to school.  He won't be back for two weeks as he has rehearsal commitments at school.  But he will be back the weekend of December 9th and his gift this year to Chet and I is to go see Elf on the big screen!  We are both excited for that. Elf is one of our favorite movies.  Can you get a sense for how really big the holidays are here?

Tonight it is back to reality.  Elisabeth has Friendsgiving with the Youth Group tonight and while she is there, I'll be at work.  I took Wednesday off and we were closed the rest of the week so I have had a long luxurious break from the office.  But tomorrow it will be busy there and I have no office staff in that day except me, so it will be best to have this done ahead of time.

I hope everyone's Thanksgiving was what you needed and wanted at this moment in time, and that the coming weeks bring times of light, and joy.

Friends and Family Performance

 Last night we drove out to the college KC is attending.  It is friends and family weekend there.  Lots of families are spending the weekend with their college student. We only went last night because our guy would not have been able to spend any time with us.  He was performing in a project called SEEP which was a dance program that was envisioned, choreographed, learned and performed in the same day.  They started work at 10 a,m. and performed at 7:30  

I waited eagerly for him to appear on the studio floor with the two other members of his trio.  As always, he is so compelling to watch when he is dancing.  His role was the ocean and his moves were so fluid.  But I am a mom.  Yes, I was also a dancer, but I always wonder if I am looking through the lens of love and it is biased.

After the performance he was introducing us to his friends who had come to watch him perform as well.  A woman who was unknown to us came up and wanted to speak with KC.  She asked what division he was.  He explained he was Div 1 (how they indicate first year students.)  She was visibly shocked.  She said she was a Div 3 and was putting together an entire show and wanted him in it.  She asked about the styles of dance he is familiar with and he told her what he has studied. She asked if he could dance house.

My son who was once so afraid to step on stage at recital confidently said, "I can learn."  They exchanged contact information for a deeper discussion to be had later.  It was everything that i hoped college would offer him.  He's well known as a dancer in our city, but our city is not exactly a cultural hub.  To be able to shine in a bigger pond and to be willing to take risks makes me so happy for him.

What's important

 Last Monday was pretty ordinary til about 5 pm  I went to work.  I stopped in to see my Mom.  I picked my daughter up at the mall from her job at 5  But right as she left work a heavy rain storm moved in.  Driving home became treacherous as roads began to flood.  I tried alternate roads with no success and finally got us safely home.  I was so thankful; I had  water was coming through the floor boards of  my car during the last part of our journey.  

When we got to the house we could see that our back yard was flooded.  Not just a few inches, but feet. The water was racing across the yard up the slope to our home.  Our street became a raging torrent. It did not even look like a road.  Cars began to stall out.  I called my wife who was at work in the next town over and told her to check in with me before she tried to come home from work.  In the middle of that conversation we lost our phone and internet. I was cooking supper also while all this was going on--food is always a priority! LOL  As I was making supper my daughter Elisabeth said she could hear things bumping in our cellar.  I went outside and opened the bulkhead (we don't have an inside access) and discovered the cellar was flooded to the second stair from the top.

We have a gas heater which was not on. And a gas hot water heater which had been on.  I have alarms down cellar if gas is escaping but those also were now underwater and unlikely to be functional.  I have no sense of smell so I would not know if gas was escaping.  I called the Fire Dept and explained. They said they would put me on the list.  I could hear sirens all over the city and I knew others were very likely worse off.  Supper was done, I had not used gas to cook it (thank you Instant Pot) We ate while we watched out the windows as the water roared like a river down our street.  I texted my wife that we were all ok but she should stay where she was.  

Hours passed.  Water crept higher.  I called the fire dept again and they said they would bump us to priority status.  A few minutes later I saw an engine up the street.  I ran up to them and explained.  They agreed to check our gas for us.  They used a meter and could not detect escaping gas.  However they also could not shut off my gas as the shut off and the meter are inside the cellar.  Evacuation was suggested but not made mandatory.  Truly I had nowhere to go with 3 animals, a disabled adult and my daughter and myself.  I suggested we shelter in place with doors and windows open.  The fire folks could not of course say that was great but there was no compelling proof that we would not be safe, particularly if we did not use any gas.

I slept rather little that night.  My wife called about midnight and said she heard a dam might break and that the water could potentially head to us.  I tried to sound super calm because she was hysterical. I said no one had come to talk about evacuation and that they surely would if that was immenent.  I fell back asleep but woke when flashing lights were outside.  Worried that this might be the evac order, I got up but it was a crew trying to get a submerged car out of the street.  I texted my boss that I would not be at the quarterly manager's meeting and gave a brief overview of what was transpiring.  I dozed some more til about 6 when I got up to try and survey the damage.

The water had receded.  There is a benefit to a clay floor in the cellar.  But the devastation it left behind was pretty massive.  I could not walk safely down there initially.  My wife arrived home and I said the first thing was to call for a dumpster because they were going to get rented out quick with all the damage sustained by folks in our city. The second call was to the plumber so we  could at least get hot water and order a new heating system.  The last call was to our insurance company. 

It turned out we were the first people to rent a dumpster. A 10 yarder was delivered early that morning and I called out of work and started filling it. Friends came over the next day and they helped continue that effort.  We got fans going in the cellar to help the floor dry but getting out everything that was wet was key.  By the end of the week I had moved out enough belongings to fill the dumpster 3 times. Wash rinse repeat.  On Saturday my friends came back and helped me move out the 2 fridges, the washer and the chest freezer that had been destroyed. The water was so strong it had tipped over the fridges and the washer!

I am looking at this as a great opportunity.  An expensive one to be sure as surprise! Homeowners insurance does not cover this.  One apparently needs flood insurance even if you don't live in a flood plain and have never had this happen in the more than 90 years that your family has lived in this same house. (I am not that old, I am the fourth generation to live here!)

I plan on repointing the foundation over the winter because hey, I like a project. Once that is done there are walls that I will insulate with rock wool and we can put in some new led lighting and make a decent workshop. My grandfather had put up paneling (which I have had to rip out) and instead I will use a plastic product that I used in part of our bathroom reno.  It is water and mildew resistant and a better choice for a basement/cellar area in my opinion.

Others had it so much worse.  Someone I know had a sink hole destroy the foundation of their home.  It is condemned.  Another person had their car swept away when the driveway gave way. No less than five people I know personally had cars flooded and totalled. My neighbors house is being worked on but was declared unlivable at this time. 3 families have had to find temporary housing as a result. I may eventually remember to post some pictures of right after the flood and after I cleaned it up.  We will see.  For now, I am simply hyper aware of our good fortune and that what is important is not things, it is family.

The Nest

 I watched the female cardinal yesterday

     (the one who raised her young in our burning bush)

The babies fledged--they fly albeit haltingly

     Looking back to mama.

She seemed to be ignoring them until Val

     our lean black cat sauntered past.

Then her body was on high alert,

     watching, making sure the young were still safe.

I wonder if at night she stretches her wings in her nest

and if it suddenly feels too large.

The House of Tomorrow

 I actually wrote the previous post last Thursday but we got home so late that night that I forgot to finish and hit publish!  He has been at college now since 8/31  Move in went smoothly. They really have it down to a science.  I thought I would be carrying the furnishings and was a little worried as my wife's ankle is not good right now. But no!  They have a cadre of folks who help load stuff up and cart it to the room and all you have to do is put it away when you are there. Amazing! 

After the move in there was orientation and a lot of speakers and a delicous food truck supper.  Not going to lie though, driving away was hard.  Going to bed that night was hard.  And we have all missed him so much at so many times since he moved in.

But. . . he is supremely blissfully happy.  He is finding his tribe.  He has friends all ready.  He has plans and goals.  He is exactly where he needs to be at this point in his life. And incidently, yay for another successful homeschooler going to college!

And I am working on this new period in my life as well.  I have parented for almost 40 years.  I have forgotten how to NOT actively parent. LOL  Well, Elisabeth is still home but she too is so close to fledging and I am quite sure she will "adult" as soon as she is able.  

I have spent this weekend doing house projects with my wife.  Reorganizing spaces.  Building a new back step.  Repairing a back railing.  Taking down summer decor.  Putting away summer clothes and taking out the fall and cooler weather work duds.  Helping Chet wash the siding on the house. Hanging a new clothes line.  Cleaning our back storage room with Elisabeth. Bringing my mom her groceries and popping into work for a short bit on Saturday. Working on moving a ridiculous amount of pictures off my work phone onto my home computer one by one.

It's mostly all good, though I find I am somewhat lonely. It's okay.  As I told KC when he left, it is OK to be uncomfortable.  It's how we grow.  I will grow too.  I will gradually find new interests, people, experiences, that enrich my time.  I keep thinking of the poem by Gibran.  Our church uses this at child dedications:

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

I think til now I did not think of the house of tomorrow that I will not visit.  But I am always willing to be the stable bow.

Moving Day

 

It's move in day!  The car is packed.  Mini fridge, microwave, clothes, dance gear, pillows, bedding, stuffed animals, food and cooking supplies.  It's there.  We leave in about an hour.  He stripped his bed and the sheets are in the wash.  The bed that won't need to be remade tonight.  

I took this photo at the Jacob's Pillow center when we were there last week for the hip hop class.  Martha  Graham was one of the founders of the Pillow (along with Ted Shawn) and the quote actually refers to dance.  But it is also so true about parenting.  It's about helping our kids find their wings and take those first, sometimes halting flights to independence.  Not pushing out of the nest, but guiding them to the edge with encouragement.  Lifting up when the down drafts try and grab them helping them flap the wings just a bit harder.

It will be hard tonight when I go up to bed and I don't hear him in his room--music playing, or chatting with friends. I'm not sure what I'll do  then but I too will find my way.  This is a new place in parenting.  With a big family I have never even come close to empty nesting.  I need to be intentional about finding my new wings too.  I'm taking a dance class this fall.  That is one thing.  I'll find others as well.