About that job. . .

A while ago I wrote that my present boss has been promoted and will be leaving our site.  I am an assistant property manager of compliance at our site.  I have worked here since Moses parted the Red Sea.  since 1978.  I have had a number of roles and most of that tenure I was employed by the former owner/agent. In 2011 we were sold to our present owners and I am employed by the managing agent.  Due to the complexity of the many subsidy programs we have, my role was restructured to deal almost exclusively with all the subsidy paperwork.

I do this well and have received awards, congratulatory emails, and excellent reviews.  However it has never been my goal to only do subsidy paperwork.  I have wanted to be a property manager almost ever since I started in this field.  With the first company I worked for I was the "heir apparent" and had been assured of the managership when my then boss retired.  Unfortunately we were sold before that happened so this was not realized.

He did leave under cloudy circumstances early into our time with our new company.  I was encouraged by my regional manager to apply for the position and I did.  I was told that I was not ready for this by the CEO of our management company.  I was devastated at the time but could see truth in what he said.  We had been with our new owners less than a year.  The things that we do in this company and the way they are done are very different.  I had also not had a lot of time to show my new company my strengths and what i could bring to the table.  So although I could understand what was said, I was devastated. It was probably a good couple of months before I shook it off and emotionally moved on with my life.

Six years rolled by and now the position is open again.  Being a glutton for punishment  firm believer that you keep striving, I again threw my hat in the ring.  This time the answer came in mere days and was again a no.  I am disappointed but refuse to let this get me down.  I think honestly that it is easier for the company not to have to train someone to do the job that I do (and there is not someone waiting in the wings who does it, so it would mean a new hire)  I think also that different companies have different cultures and that this company may not ever be able to see me as a manager.  While I am not sure the why of that, I have seen this with friends in other jobs as well. 

So luckily I had a plan B when I applied for the position.  I will spend the next couple of years getting a lot of additional schooling on my companies dime.  Education is never wasted and although I could in most cases just challenge the classes and obtain the management certification, I will take the classes.  Then, when KC and Lissa are a couple years older, I will apply for a managership in a different company.  I have friends in other management company's who have said I can send them my resume at any time.

Most importantly, I have not let this bother me emotionally.  I gave myself a full 24 hours to wallow in my unhappiness.  And wallow I did!  LOL  But I have a lot of great and wonderful things in my life and I can't let one no overshadow all of that.  I also know i really am a very capable person in the field I work in and that although this company does not see that outside of the realm of compliance work, I know it to be true.  With my first company my roles included staff management, budgets, capital needs assessments and more.  So I am moving forward into 2018 with a plan, with energy and with hope!

Vacation Week

I was lucky this year and it was my turn to take some time off after Christmas. This is on a rotation schedule at work and every 3 to 5 years it is my turn for the lions share of the days off.  I have been off since 12/22 and it has been glorious.  I don't typically take large chunks of time off (in fact the irony of all this is that it is exactly 4.5 work days!!) but when I am blessed to have the time I notice that suddenly my body stills.

I normally waken early every morning.  I don't set an alarm clock, I just wake up at 5:30  Apparently after a couple of days my body knows I am not on my usual routine and I am waking up at 6:30! It is bitterly cold here right now and that is physically difficult for me.  I confess to going to be early and reading till late into the night just so that I can stay warm.  I also don't have to be up before the heat comes on in the house and that too has been a treat.

There have been wonderful family times during this week together.  We went to Maine to spend Christmas Eve day with my mom and Griff.  They were so glad to see us and so happy with everything we brought.  Christmas Day was just my wife and i here with the kids.  Fiona was in the Big City with other family members but came here on Wednesday.  We had another festive family gathering and had a really good time together.

Yesterday I took the kids to the movies so we could see The Greatest Showman.  Great movie but not an accurate telling regarding Barnum's racism.  It sort of skirts around that.  But KC wanted to go because he loves musicals so that is why we went.

Today my wife and I are going on an actual lunch date.  This is something that happens very rarely as our time off schedules rarely come close to coinciding.  But this afternoon she is free and we are taking advantage of a gift certificate she got from a client for a restaurant.  I am really looking forward to this!

The year is speeding to a close and sometimes i wonder where all the time went.  But really when I look back, 2017 was filled with a lot of  great and exciting things.  I am lucky to have not just my family but a strong group of friends in a variety of walks in my life. This life I live would be so much harder if I did not have their wisdom, their laughter and their support.

Merry Christmas Eve from our house to yours!  Chet had all ready gone up to bed when the rest of the kids hung their stockings. That means you only see three of the 4 who live here.  Fiona is with her first family in the Big City tonight and will be here on Wednesday to celebrate with us.

I love Christmas. I love the melding of so many traditions.  For instance, as I sit here writing I am sipping Coquito.  It is a Puerto Rican riff on egg nog, only better.  It isn't thick and gummy the way real egg nog seems to me. I don't even really like the soy egg nog as much as I enjoy coquito.  I first was introduced to it when we went to PR on vacation back when Chet was in 6th grade. This I did learn how to make and have sipped away at my container over the past few days.  Such a decadent delight.

There are pizzelles which are my favorite Italian cookie.  My friend Crystal brought some to our house last night and it made me literally glow with happiness.  They are something I don't know how to make and enjoy completely.

I used to have residents from Greece who made the most amazing baklava and little crescent shaped cookies sprinkled with confectioners sugar.  Mmmmm, divine.  I have not had them since they moved away but remember them fondly.  Also two recipes I don't know how to make.

Our family has food traditions too.  Home made penuche fudge to give as gifts (and lets face it, we make a double batch so there is enough for us to eat as well!) Frosted sugar cookies, and home made cinnamon buns for Christmas morning. When Fiona is home for Christmas I always make cheesy grits with breakfast because that is a food she loves from her past.  I love it too and have learned to make it just the way she likes it.

I wish the rest of the year, all our traditions could meld together as joyfully and with as much ease as they seem to at Christmas.  I have the feeling we would see one another differently, judge less and appreciate more.  

Christmas Eve Eve

Life has been busy enough lately that my posts all seem to linger in "draft" mode, never quite finsihed or brushed up for actual posting.  I looked in and saw that my hectic post was still hanging there in draft and laughed. 

Lissa's party was a huge success. She had a truly wonderful time with friends.  Friday night she was at a friends house and they had a party for her and gifts.  This family is amazingly wonderful and kind to Lissa and I am so glad that they are in her life.  It takes a village is not just a trite phrase.  It is vitally important to me that my kids all have a number of trusted adults in their lives so that if they are not comfortable turning to me or to my wife, that there is someone else in their corner.

The next day her party here happened and it was also a blast.  All the kids had so much fun, I overheard one of them saying that it was the best sleep over party they had been to because there was so much to do.  I am the queen of over planning for kids events so that was so very true.  11 is the age where cliques develop and Lissa has friends from a variety of walks of life.  As a homeschooler she has friends from dance, scouts, church, chorus and the neighborhood.  These kids don't all know each other.  So it was super important to me that there be activities that allowed them to get to know each other and to keep everyone doing something.  They were asleep by 11ish and started the day with home made waffles about 7ish the next morning. 

That night we had Vespers at our church and both the kids were in the pageant.  KC did an amazing job doing his reading from the pulpit.  He is one of those rare kids who did not have to be taught to slow down when he does public speaking.  He has a very measured, thoughtful delivery and did us and most importantly himself, proud.

Lissa was a "head sheep" and did well also.  By the time we were home from that though, we were all pretty tired.

My vacation started yesterday and that has been a huge blessing.  I rarely have big blocks of time off.  It is hard with the type of work that I do.  However at this time of year, when it is my turn for time off I can wrangle 11 days of no work by using 4 vacation days!  Score!!!  So yesterday and today we wrapped up holiday preparations.  Food has been bought, all the gifts and stocking stuffers have been wrapped, and tomorrow we will travel to Maine to celebrate with my mom and her partner.  In a true holiday miracle he is home from rehab after weeks of serious illness. 

Today I did not go out at all.  A snow and ice event made the roads less than great and I had no real reason to sally forth.  Instead, I puttered in the kitchen, making cookies, coquito and a special multi step pie (chocolate candy cane) for Christmas dinner. I cleaned the kitchen several times--I am not the neatest of cooks.  KC also had a part in it as he made fudge for my mom as one of his Christmas gifts to bring her tomorrow.

I know that people want to slow down the holidays.  And I used to feel that way too.  I have since decided after years of trying unsuccessfully to slow it down, that I will just go with it.  I'll do as much as I can of the things that we love.  Most things will happen, inevitably somethings probably won't.  But there will be more hits than misses. Memories will be made, laughter will be shared.  And that is the most important part of the holidays for me, anyway.

It's that most. . . hectic time of the year!

In some ways, it is like this every year.  There are a score of amazing, fun, and wonderful happenings.  There is not enough time for all that we want to do.  The calendar fills, then there are cross outs, additions, deletions. There are great things, and the challenges that don't stop because it is December and life is busy.

I am as bad as my kids.  I want to do it ALL.  I want to hear the concerts, see the plays, make the cookies, have the parties, send the cards. . .

We have done a lot.  There was a city play at the high school on Friday night.  Our former next door neighbor was in it as well as some of KC's friends from dance.  I had planned to take all 3 kids.  However some respiratory plague has descended upon us and Lissa was too ill to come so it was just KC and I.  Amazing production of Peter Pan though (with flying scenes too!!) and we enjoyed it greatly.  However that was tinged with sadness because Lissa was home sick and was not able to be with us.

A couple of weeks ago Lissa sang with a local school chorus at the start of our city's Holiday Stroll.  This was a first for her and part of the holiday craziness has been adding in the practice time for this. Attending the stroll has been an annual event for our family.  This year Lissa announced that she wanted to be part of the school chorus that her friend A is in.  We are entitled to participate even though we home school, so I worked to make it happen.  I think by the time December ends, Lissa will feel that her chorus experience is complete.  I am not exactly sure what she envisioned but this sample of the experience is apparently adequate for her at the moment.  I don't feel invested one way or another. I try to make sure that all the kids have the opportunities to dabble in things they find intriguing or interesting.  Sometimes they find a new passion. Sometimes, like this, it is more of "gee I want to see what this is all about."  She may opt to return in the spring but does not want to continue the commitment through the winter.

My wife was the chair of our church's Holiday Fair. A huge fundraiser for our church this was an enormous investment of time and energy on her party.  I sent out cards again this year!!! Last year I got so behind in things that I could not for hte life of me get them in the mail. This year, I did and I am so glad as there are many folks I don't connect with except annually with cards.

We saw a holiday play on the Friday after Thanksgiving as a family and have had Christmas movie nights together.  I managed to make the photo calendar for the grandparents and the shopping is nearly done.  We baked cookies and decorated.  Seasonal music has filled the house.  My wife made a super cool pallet snowman for part of our outside decorations. I love that he can easily stay up through January!!

My mom's partner has been very ill, hospitalized shortly after Thanksgiving for two weeks with pneumonia which came on suddenly and presently in a rehab facility.  There have been many phone calls and cards, emails and visits to lend what support we can.

This week things rachet up again with Thursday nights viewing of the new St*r W*rs movie.  Friday night Lissa is sleeping at her friends house. They want to give her their Christmas and birthday gifts for her then.  Saturday night Lissa and 3 friends are having a birthday sleepover here with much giggling, crafts and chaos.  Sunday is Vespers at church and KC is a narrator and Elisabeth is a "head sheep."  By Monday I will be tired but my vacation is on the horizon as it starts on Friday the 22nd.

And in the midst of all this fun and memory making Lissa KC and Chet have all been passing back and forth this respiratory plague amongst themselves.  I have a touch of it but seem to be holding it at bay with the regular use of Thieves Oil in our infuser in our work room.  I am in here a good 4 hours each night so I think it is helping.


Because life is always full of surprises, I also had one at work last week.  My boss of 6 years has accepted another position at a new site starting sometime in January.  This means the managership of the site I have worked at lo these many years is again open.

I have always wanted to manage this site.  I applied with my new company six years ago when my other boss was forced out.  I was not interviewed and told by uppper management that my skill set was not sufficient.  I am pretty sure that there were concerns about my competance and honesty as those were deficits in my prior boss.  Kind of tarred with the same brush so to speak.  But I have had 6 years with them since then.  I have received an award.  I have learned new skills. My integrity is defintely no longer a question in anyone's mind. I have done a lot that hopefully will show them I am the right person for the job.  I want it very very much.   But I also refuse to let this wreck my life.  Last time, I was depressed for weeks after their decision.  This time, I go into the situation with optimism and confidence in my abilities, but also the awareness that this company does not define me.  If they don't want me as a manager of this site, I have other options.  I have been taking courses in property management.  I will complete my certifications so that I have the creds to go along with the many years of experience.  And when my kids are a bit older, I will be able to interview at other properties that are further away from my home.  Right now, I need a closer home base so that I can do car pools and be available.  But at 11 and 13, I know that the time is fast approaching when they will have more independance.  Maybe it is that knowledge that helps buoy me this time.

Thanksgiving into Friday!

Thanksgiving weekend was so much fun!  After cleaning up from our holiday feast, it was about 4ish.  I was supposed to go Black Friday shopping with some friends.  So I tried to nap.  I am not a good napper. I have to be utterly exhausted or very ill in order to sleep in the day time.  I was not either.  Being in social gatherings energizes me so I was still on an endorphin rush of happy feelings.  I read my book and tried to relax.  I read my Facebook and tried to relax.  Nope.  Finally got up at 5 and decided it just wasn't going to happen.  Placed my Christmas card order on line, fixed the kids some supper (they can always still eat a few hours later) and did some piece work with my wife.

At 11 I met my friends at Wal*m*rt and we stood in line until the doors opened at 1 a.m. We had a pretty good spot at the front 1/3 of the line.  We drank coffee and chatted for hours but it went by so quickly.  Basically if I have someone to chat with, I am good anywhere you plunk me down.  Once we got inside I went directly to electronics where I successfully scored the camera Lissa wants for her birthday.  (I have the double joy of 2 kids with December birthdays) I also got my wife a great TV  The one in the work room is beginning to show distinct signs of aging.  I know she will love this and the price for it was less than we paid for the smaller one we have now!  I then did other parts of the store, nabbing deals on PJs and games  By 2:30 I was home and tucked into bed.

At 6:30 I was awakened by kids who were excited to decorate for Christmas.  So was I, so fortified with several cups of tea, and later, some coffee we had breakfast and decorated for a large part of the day.  The weather was uncharacteristically warm--like in the 50s--so we had no problem hanging the outside lights.  Some years you feel like your fingers will fall off from the cold, but not this year!

I really love to decorate.  I'd miss snoozing any day to decorate and I have passed that on to my kids.  We have about 11 totes of holiday decor and we use almost everything.  The house is large and accommodates a great deal of decoration without looking over the top in the least.  This year many decor items are related to very high places and the tree is wired to the walls. Rocky the Wonder Kitten scales it routinely and thinks that all the decorations are meant as kitten toys!

When we finished decorating I made the cemetary boxes for my grandparents and my mother in law's graves.  I was super excited this year that my wife found a great supply of red berries and even some wildly growing money plant. It really jazzed up the artificial picks of flora that I use and the evergreen boughs from our yard.

By then it was about 5 and the excitement and lack of sleep was beginning to show. I was able to snooze for about 30 minutes and then had supper, more tea and got ready to go to a play.  The kids, my wife and I went to see The Best Christmas Pageant Ever.  It is rare for my wife to want to go to a social thing.  She is an introvert by nature and I was stunned when she had told me that she wanted to go.  I had immediately gotten the tickets when she said she wanted to go and I am so very glad we went.  It was laugh out loud funny and very wel acted.  I knew two people who were in the cast so that was extra fun as well.  I also like exposing my kids to a variety of theater experiences.  By the time we got home though, there was no denying that the surfeit of fun was catching up with me.  I was in bed,lights out by 10:30 and slept till 7 the next morning!

Thanksgiving Photo Op

It's been a good weekend.  Busy and fun and exhausting and fun, but still, I would not really change a jot of the weekend.  The picture above was Thanksgiving morning.Fiona opted to be in the Big City this year and did well with her visit.  The rest of our kids were here though and this is the picture I snapped of them Thanksgiving morning before everyone else arrived.  I did not think much about the pictures on the wall behind them.  At that time, I had only a few seconds to snap a picture and this was the only wall available  In a minor miracle, this is the first picture I tried to take of them and it was so cute right out of the gate.  Lissa is holding her dog Luna, if anyone is wondering what the shaggy lump is in her arms. 

It was as I was looking at the picture later in the evening, when things were quieter, I got to noticing the wall.  It is the wall that usually is inhabited by our love seat.  At Thanksgiving we have to move the furniture out of the living room so that is why that space was open.  The pictures behind the kids are of years gone by when they were very young.  Fiona's are hardest to see, they are the collage of four at the top.  In the center is a pastel drawing an artist friend did of Chet and Rob years ago.  I think Rob was about 7 when that was done, Chet would have been almost 18.  There is a picture of KC as a baby and of Lissa as a baby. 

And below them stand my beautiful, but so grown, children.  Lissa and KC have years with us still--but not LOTS of years.  And since the first 10 or 13 went by in a blink the years from 10 to 18 and 13 to 18 will be like a nano second.  Rob is 21 now and alternately going to the edge of the nest and stepping back.  This time next year I will be surprised if he is still living at home.

KC is all ready looking forward to his spring birthday, which will make him old enough to get a part time job.  He is eager for increasing independance and has a road map well thought out on how to achieve it.

Lissa is always looking for new experiences and has all ready told me that she won't be here once she is 18.  I believe it.  Her drive and intensity when she finds things to be part of and experience is amazing to behold. 

My picture is a reminder of a wonderful family holiday spent together. It is also a reminder.  Reminder to hug my kids closely, listen intently, smile more and make memories together.  Those memories will be my comfort and will be their trampoline--helping them launch exuberantly and courageously into their futures.