Reaching for the new normal

Most of the state I live in has cautiously re-opened.  There are differences though.  It is not a return to what we had before.  I am not sure it ever will be.  For instance my bank is still in person by appointment only.  Most transactions are by ATM or from a remote teller during the day.  They are still not open extended hours and my son has to use the night depository for his paychecks as a result.

My beloved yoga studio is opening for two months only with severely limited numbers in the class and a requirement to wear masks the whole time.  I have thought this over and I can not see me successfully doing yoga with a mask on. So I will revert to my home exercise program with Beachbody.  I can't do yoga successfully without someone really watchng my posture for me.  What feels straight to me is not, because I have scoliosis and am always slightly off kilter as a result. But I can do barre, I can do a lot of strength training, those things I can do without issue here so I have to resign myself to that being my only official exercise.

Today Elisabeth is at a social distance birthday party for a close friend. They are having dinner for 5 girls at a local restaurant. The restaurant has social distancing.  You wear a mask till the food arrives.  The wait staff are masked. The menus are disposable.  After the dinner they are returning to my friends home where they will sit on the patio and watch the present opening and have cake.  Is it perfect?  Probably not.  But I let her go because as worried as I am about Covid (and I do worry) I also worry about my kids emotional well being.  For Elisabeth particularly, the need for some in person socialization is very evident. And if this thing is going to be around for the long haul, my gut feeling is that hiding in our homes is not going to save us.

Today I decided to go raspberry picking.  I have always picked a lot of fruit. When the kids were little I had 2 helping me pick and one strapped on my back and one I dragged along beside me in a car seat type gizmo.  We would do strawberries, raspberries, blueberries peaches and apples.  This year our state did no pick your own strawberries, but they are doing raspberries.  Like everything, this is a familiar experience with unfamiliar guidelines.  We used to ride a wagon down to the fields, the benches filled with laughter and chatter as groups of us became acquainted and talked about our plans for the fruits of our labors.  We'd have cold water in water bottles with us because this is thirsty work and the sun is hot. We would wander through the rows of produce looking for the biggest berries or the juiciest ones.

Now you have to make a reservation to pick (unless you show up super early like I did!) You must wear a mask the whole time you are in the field.  There is a mandatory handwashing station.  You have to walk down to the fields, no more tractors pulling a wagon of eager pickers. And just like the grocery stores, the rows of fruit are one way rows with arrows to show which way to go.

It was definately not as pleasant--picking with no hydration in a mask will never be something that could be called comfortable when it is 85 degrees and humid.  But it felt like at least in some way I was doing something that I was able to do pre-Covid. There was something important about that for me--especially as I keep in contact with my sister in AZ who has the virus and is trying to get healthy.

(note: I actually picked four containers but didn't think to snap a pic until I had the first one flash freezing!)

Merry Everything!

It is Christmas Day and it has been magical and emotional and wonderful in ways I could not have imagined.  The only hard part was that Fiona decided at the 11th hour to go to the Big City and have her Christmas and birthday celebrations with members of her family who live there.  Rob and the rest of the kids were disappointed as was I.  I had planned her favorite meal, her choice of birthday dessert and of course there are gifts aplenty awaiting her.  We will get togethe at some point but it is unlikely that we will all be able to be here.  Rob typically works weekends which are the only times I am free and juggling around the kids regular responsibilities and part time jobs means maybe 3/5 of the family will be here when she decides to visit.  I am okay with that but it is likely Fiona will not be despite the fact that this change was here decision and not ours.

However the rest of our day has been beyond my imaginings.  KC asked that we get up 10 minutes before the rest of the family so that he could give my wife and I his gift privately.  I had no idea what it could possibly be but we agreed.  He wrote the most heartfelt loving letter to us that we both cried buckets reading it. Then he turned on the TV and he had made a video with a montage of pictures of the three of us as he has grown and a dance he had choreographed to a song called In Case you don't live forever.  I have watched it three times and bawled each time.  Most times I think we don't know how we touch one anothers lives (and that is ok) but in this rare magical instant, we know.

All the kids outdid themselves this year and being together is always my greatest gift.  I know that some time Rob will move out.  I know he has plans he is working toward. So every holiday he is here is a gift beyond measure to me.  Everyone's gifts were thoughtful and showed such love and care for the recipient.

Now a feast awaits and I plan to tuck in with abandon.  Happy Christmas, blessed Yule, Happy Hannukah--merry everything to everyone!

Finding Me

Or perhaps I should say, finding more of me.  I got a little lost there for a few years.  Lots of kids, lots of stuff going on.  It was and is, all GOOD.  This is not a whine post.  I have enjoyed the parenting journey more than I have words for.  Sure there have been and will continue to be hard times. But my kids and my wife?  They are the best of my life.  Hands down.  That said, I have realized that along the way, kid needs, family needs, tended to supplant any time for myself.  I certainly enjoyed taking the kids to the park every night. And I got some level of fitness from it.  But was it a work out?  Not really.  I grew to treasure summers not just because it is my favorite season, but because with no taxi responsibilities for the kids activities I could take zumba once a week. (and the year she offered it twice a week, I was there for both of them.)

I discovered hot yoga purely because it was the only thing that fit my schedule year round.  Most Saturdays I can devote 9 to 10 a.m. to my yoga practice.  Not every Saturday, but most.  And when I started doing that, I started realizing that really, an hour a week for myself was maybe not quite enough.

I started carving out more time to read in the evenings before i fell asleep.  I refuse to let myself go to sleep  after just doing piece work and planning the next homeschool class.  I told myself I could stay awake for at least 20 minutes each night to read and found that most nights I exceed that. (perhaps even a bit more than i should, but oh, the joy of a good book!)  Because I am on Goodreads I learned the other day that last year I read 53 books!  I think the year before I read something like 12 so that is really a big improvement.  I was always a big reader, somehow evening exhaustion, the challenges of reading in bed when you had two littles that coslept. well it had just drifted away for a bit.

Likewise I have been making time for more fitness in my life. I am weird in that I like to work out.  It relieves stress and helps me feel warmer for at least the 30 minutes or so that I am doing the routine.  I joined an on line fitness group with unlimited videos to follow so that i can keep changing up what I do and do it in the comfort of my home.  It seems doable even when the taxi duties resume next week.  Thus far I have exercised regularly this week and I love that I can change what I do.  Tonight it was Barre and yoga, last night I did a step class. 

It is important to keep this body moving.  This carcass is nearly 60 now and though I have always been flexible and am not a person prone to aches and pains, flexibility and tone just doesn't hang around if you don't work to make it so.  I want to be able to do hikes that interest me, to walk on beaches comfortably long into the future.  Making that a reality means not forgetting to move now.

All of that also I hope helps me to be a better parent and a better spouse.  When I am more relaxed I am more attentive, more receptive to others.  I am a "fixer" by nature, but if i have worked out I am more likely to just listen which tends to be what people really want, instead of charging off trying to save the day!

So though I will likely never again be able to spend 3 and 4 hours a week in a dojo, I have found a reasonable way to enjoy myself and meet this need. 

Somehow 2018 has swept nearly to a close.  In many respects it has been a hard year for our family.  We have had a number of expensive dental issues to face, several super expensive house repairs to face, car repairs up the wazoo,expensively ill pets,   and so many other things that if I write them all it looks whiny so I won't.  There have been good times too, but I think I have felt more stressed at times this year than at any other year I can recall.

However, there is still much to be grateful for.  We have each other.  We have a roof over our heads and food on our table. We have jobs--and mine has blossomed with potentiality right at the end of this year which has caused me great excitement and joy.  We have a faith community that embraces our entire family, with all their quirks and uniqueness. we have friends and are deeply rooted in the community we live in.  I have been able to attend yoga semi regularly on Saturday mornings and love it.  I got to go to Zumba very regularly in the summer and adore that.  I have children who are exciting and motivated to try new things--jobs, auditions and friendships.  Being brave enough to step out and risk failure is the greatest  part of living, because without that risk life grows very, very stale.

I know that New Years resolutions are a hot button thing for many of my friends.  I know too that the same is true of self improvement efforts such as exercise.  I have many friends who feel that speaking of such things negates self acceptance or makes those who are not able at this time to make physical changes, feel badly.  So I whisper quietly that one of my goals this year is to incorporate more physical activity into my life.  Not because I hate my body.  I don't.  I genuinely enjoy exercise.  I am weird that way!  It makes me feel good. It reduces my stress.  But incorporating it when the kids have dance and scouts and youth group and all the other things that happen with a growing family is challenging.  To that end I am trying to work out at home, with the idea being I can do a 30 minute work out in between the taxi runs. So dear friends I am not doing this to be a "beautiful person" nor am I doing it because I hate my body.  I am doing it because it makes my spirit happy and that helps me be a better person in my interactions with others.  May we all find something that helps our spirits soar in the year to come and give back to the world we live in in meaningful ways.

Vacation Week

I was lucky this year and it was my turn to take some time off after Christmas. This is on a rotation schedule at work and every 3 to 5 years it is my turn for the lions share of the days off.  I have been off since 12/22 and it has been glorious.  I don't typically take large chunks of time off (in fact the irony of all this is that it is exactly 4.5 work days!!) but when I am blessed to have the time I notice that suddenly my body stills.

I normally waken early every morning.  I don't set an alarm clock, I just wake up at 5:30  Apparently after a couple of days my body knows I am not on my usual routine and I am waking up at 6:30! It is bitterly cold here right now and that is physically difficult for me.  I confess to going to be early and reading till late into the night just so that I can stay warm.  I also don't have to be up before the heat comes on in the house and that too has been a treat.

There have been wonderful family times during this week together.  We went to Maine to spend Christmas Eve day with my mom and Griff.  They were so glad to see us and so happy with everything we brought.  Christmas Day was just my wife and i here with the kids.  Fiona was in the Big City with other family members but came here on Wednesday.  We had another festive family gathering and had a really good time together.

Yesterday I took the kids to the movies so we could see The Greatest Showman.  Great movie but not an accurate telling regarding Barnum's racism.  It sort of skirts around that.  But KC wanted to go because he loves musicals so that is why we went.

Today my wife and I are going on an actual lunch date.  This is something that happens very rarely as our time off schedules rarely come close to coinciding.  But this afternoon she is free and we are taking advantage of a gift certificate she got from a client for a restaurant.  I am really looking forward to this!

The year is speeding to a close and sometimes i wonder where all the time went.  But really when I look back, 2017 was filled with a lot of  great and exciting things.  I am lucky to have not just my family but a strong group of friends in a variety of walks in my life. This life I live would be so much harder if I did not have their wisdom, their laughter and their support.

Kayaking and phones that don't swim

Last week Lissa and I left mid week for a camping trip with dear friends of ours.  Our two families have camped together now for more years than I can count.  Our kids have been friends since they were young preschool aged wee ones.

In years past I had all the kids with me but this year marked the first time that it was only Lissa and I going.  KC wanted to stay here in town and complete his week of dance camp.  Chet opted to stay home, saying sleeping on the ground didn't appeal to him at the moment.  Rob had to work.  Lissa was still very excited though--so excited she opted to skip dance camp on Wednesday so we could hit the road early in the morning instead of after dance camp was done. (she was only supposed to be at camp through Wednesday, KC went all week)

So we did and I loved the time that it was just she and I .  It was such a different dynamic that rarely happens in our large and busy family.   She too, looks so grown up in this picture, that I snapped right when we got to the campground.  Time flies, it really does.

Unfortunately, this is the only picture I have of the days we spent together.  I took a number of great ones but on Thursday of our vacation we went kayaking.  First time for both of us. Our friends suggested it and they have kayaked on this particular river before.  We set off and most of the way was really delightful.  It was a six mile journey with lots of stops for the kids to play, snack snap pics, jump in the river, etc.  However as we journeyed on the skies began to darken and I worried that a pop up thunderstorm might be headed our way.  I expressed my concern to my friends who were stopping to do more river play.  We agreed that Lissa and I would journey on ahead (there were many other kayakers from the same outfit on the river so I knew I could not get lost or something weird like that)  I had been paddling for hours and felt relatively confident.  The river was low--I had to pull us across shallow areas numerous times.  So we agreed to meet up at the take out location and Lissa and I set off.  Sure enough shortly after that it began to rain, but thankfully NO thunder.  So we were safe, though damp and kind of chilly.  Lissa was getting tired and doing far less paddling.  But we paddled on and then rounded a corner on the river.  A tree was leaning out over the river and I remember telling Lissa to push us away from that with her paddle as we were headed too close to it.  I don't know if she did or not but the next thing we knew, the tree had ensnared us and we were being pushed backward by it. The kayak began to fill with water as it tilted and we capsized.  Apparently said overhanding tree disguised a rapid little current of water there.  It was not over our heads but it did terrify poor Lissa.  I held onto her and the kayak and all our belongings went down river.  We had life jackets on so we were safe and I was not letting go of her because she was hysterical.   Someone who was playing on the banks a short distance from us saw the mishap and came to assist.  I passed Lissa across to him so that she had hands on her the whole time.  Then I climbed out of the river myself.

Amazingly all our belongings except my  beloved NFL hat and our sunscreen were recovered.  Lissa was not hurt. I got an epic bruise on my right arm but it has never pained me.  We were fine.  Shaken but fine.  My friends arrived to find us all ready loading up back into our kayak ready to paddle the last wee bit to the take out spot.  I felt it was really important for Lissa to see that this could happen and we would not tip over again.  Regardless of my efforts though, she is not feeling any kayak love.

My phone was drenched and died despite my immediately plopping it in a box of rice pilaf in my camping kit when we hit dry land.  Hence my lovely shots are lost and remain only in my memory.  But I remember my tall strong daughter on a giant boulder in the middle of the river. I remember looking down at polished river stones in amazingly clear water, deer prints on the sand bar, and laughter.

The event was also a bit of PSA for life jackets.  I made Lissa wear her jacket and I wore mine.  My friends did not and Lissa was miffed.  I said that sometimes stuff happens and you don't know when it might happen, but that this was a way to make sure we stayed safe.  It was indeed a key part in our overall safety when the accident occurred.  So yes.  Wear the life jacket people.  I am a good swimmer. I am still glad we had them on.  I also learned a bit too late, that Otter box makes a "dry box" that would have kept my phone safe and dry.  I'll have the "phone life jacket" next time too!

Of Cobras, Planks and Downward Dog

Life is busy, and truthfully I would not have it any other way.   Days are filled with work, train schedules for Rob, commencement details for Rob, work for Rob.  There are dance classes for the youngers, Scouts and sewing classes for Lissa and book club nights for KC.  I love that everyone has a lot of interests. These experiences are their choices. None of it is me deciding to fill up the hours of our days and nights.

My work is fast paced and stressful.  I typically (shhhhh!) work through my lunch. I always have plans of walking the site at lunch.  It almost never happens.

At home at night, there is a little Facebook noodling, but it is mostly house chores and then doing piece work as we work toward our dream of traveling in July of 2018.  Bottom line, is that when I get to bed I have maybe 20 minutes to read and call that "my time."  Don't get me wrong. I love to read.  I love that our life is full and rich.  But greedy little soul that I am, I craved a bit more time for myself.  Maybe--gasp--60 whole minutes for myself!

I found myself longing for last summer when I could take Zumba classes.  I love working out in a group setting, but flat out can not get up at the crack of dawn to go to a gym.  When train runs are over, I can walk in the mornings. As much as I want time for myself, I know I need 6 hours of sleep a night to be a healthy happy woman!

Enter, Hot Yoga.  I have not ever really been a yoga person.   I have dabbled in it long ago in my teen years.  Then I tried it a little at our church camping weekend.  It was fun but I think mostly because I was on the beach.  I was really super focussed on the sand under my feet and the feel of the breeze.  It made it less annoying to me that we seemed to flow soooooooooooo slowly from one pose to another.

See, I am a bit of a hyper person.  Not distractedly hyper (usually.)  But someone who doesn't do meditation well.  Someone who likes to beat book times on hikes.  Someone who loves to move.  So the slow peaceful yoga?  My wife loves it but it just isn't my thing.

One of my friends from the kids dance school told me about this new yoga class.  Ironically the studio is so near the train station that it is crazy easy for me to get to. The hot yoga class is Saturday mornings at 9 a.m.  The time is perfect for me. I have all ready been up for 2 hours and gotten the grocery shopping done by then.  The kids are old enough now to stay home for an hour when I go.

And I have discovered that hot yoga (at least at this studio) is a lot different from my other yoga experiences.  There is a lot more movement, a lot less of the tedious holding of poses until you die of boredom  until you are one with the universe or something.  The hot part is a super bonus for me.  I am almost always cold.  For about 90 minutes on Saturdays now, I am warm.  Not hot and sweaty mind you, but warm.  The heat in itself is such a joy.  OK I know that sounds weird but 95 is my temperature of choice on a summers day.

It is challenging my body, keeping me fit and limber, which is good for me physically. I have always been pretty limber and it is coming back quickly. But more importantly is the benefit of that hour to myself, with friends.  Just time for me.  Namaste!

Summer Exercise Fun

You all know this is my most favorite time of the year.  I wish summer could last for oh-about 11 of the 12 months of the year!  I have so much energy at this time of year.  I have been walking 2 or 3 miles in the mornings. It is fun looking for rabbits, checking out people's gardens as I cruise by, and seeing the occasional hawk or turkey.  And because the kids don't have some of their regular commitments I have been able to fit in some Zumba classes a couple nights a week. I adore working out to good music and while I could use a video at home, a group is way more fun.

Doing such things for myself is a summer treat.  I don't walk when it is cold and dark out. My body says that smart people are in bed then.  Also with transport duties for Rob for college I would have to get up significantly earlier than 5:20 if I wanted to hit a gym.  No thanks, 5:20 is early enough. Likewise, I am on the road with the kids during the school year when the Zumba class takes place. So I am treasuring these opportunities for indulging myself.  Admittedly my wife thinks I am a tad touched in the head, that I consider this all fun, but I do!

Diversity on the hamster wheel

By and large I have always liked to get my exercise hiking in the woods.  I like the varied terrain, spotting cool plants and critters and, because I have a bit of excess competitiveness in my makeup, trying to beat whatever the guide book says is the average completion time for the trail.

Having kids changes things though.  First off, they (perhaps thankfully) are not blessed with the level of competitive spirit that I have regarding times of hikes.  Secondly, due to many family members going many different places on any given day, I can not drive to a distant peak for a day of hiking with any amount of regularity.

Solution?  I walk the track at our local park.  There is a great playground there which my younger kids love to play at.  They find friends there--kids they know from other aspects of our life often show up there as well.  But just as often it is new kids and they are fine with that as well.

So it solved the issue of how to exercise but for a very long time, it wasn't all that enjoyable to me.  It wasn't how I like to exercise and though I would do it,because fitness is important to me, I felt a little bit of 'oh poor me' inside.  I would half jokingly say to my wife that I felt like a hamster on a wheel.

Toward the end of last years walking season my competitive instincts helped out a bit. I would silently challenge myself to hold off a speed walker or a jogger for a certain length of time or track.  Obviously this involved a sort of home grown interval training and that was sort of fun.

This year I still do that but I have also come to realize something that I should have noticed last year.  First of all, I should be grateful that I live in a city with a really decent park system.  At this park on any given night you see the kiddos at the playground, walkers and joggers.  There are kids who are on a flag football team learning the rudiments of the game.  Some nights the high school baseball team is playing or practicing. Soccer is huge in our city and there are always people playing.  Sometimes it is pick up games, sometimes it is league practice. Sometimes it is just families having fun.  One night it was a group of soccer players who were all barefoot which kind of fascinated me.

But what i noticed more this year was that there isn't just a huge diversity in usage of the park, there is a huge diversity in the population.  There are women who walk the track in headscarves.  There are people from a number of South American countries, people from a variety of African countries, Mexicans, Puerto Ricans and more.  This is what is good.  All these people were getting along.  The kids all play together. The occasional glitches in language are overcome.  I hear a melange of music as I walk, from salsa, to drum beats, to hip hop.

It is worth the hamster wheel effect to be part of the mix and for my kids to be part of it as well.

FitBit Fun!

My company has begun a new wellness program.  Sometime mid-May we were eligible to obtain a free FitBit. (one of the 3 lower end models)  The only caveat was that we agree to log to a company website that would allow them to see our steps.

I figured why not.  They all ready have a GPS locater in my company issued phone so they know where I go--what does it matter if they see how many steps I take?  LOL  Also, as part of the deal I could buy one for a family member at a greatly reduced price so I got K one like mine. She does not have to let my company know her steps.

And can I just say how much fun I have with this silly thing?  I love seeing how many steps I walk, how many stairs I climb and how many miles I have traversed by days end.  For a person whose job is mostly behind a desk, I am pretty active.  The only day I did not make my 10,000 steps was a day I had a migraine and I went to work, came home and that was pretty much my day.  But most times, I after work I am doing chores, taking the kids to the park etc.

Also my wife and I have been walking together a few mornings a week.  She has ankle issues so she can't do this daily, so I have more morning walks than she does.  I love the time together as it is just for us and now that she is used to it, K is enjoying the talking time as well.

Then there is the company leader board.  This shows how far everyone has walked.  Well, I am a wee bit on the competitive side.  My initial goal was to stay in the top ten.  Since more than 100 people are doing this, I figured it was a good goal.  I have gradually been working my way up a bit higher than that though and am presently rocking the number six slot.

I know that during the school year it will be much harder to find times to exercise.  My life is a taxi then.  Rob's train schedule, and the kids activities govern my life. But for now, I am enjoying my fitbit and the flexibility that summer gives.