40 Years of Love

It is time to start decorating for Valentines Day around here.  In addition to the decor that the kids and I have made over the years, I also typically put out my grandmothers ruby glass collection--or at least pieces of it.  Most of it came to her at a large 40th anniversary party that was held for she and my grandfather.

I remember that party so well.  It was at the summer camp where I spent every summer growing up and it seemed like there were so many people.  There probably were--my grandparents were very social.  But I know that memories from way back when I was about 7 or 8 are a likely to be somewhat inaccurate. 

I remember that there seemed to be endless tables of food, and that I got to help my mother make some and set things out on the buffets.  I remember eating meatballs but nothing else about what was actually served. I remember music and pictures and I think some dancing.  It was a joyful magical time and I loved it, even though at the time the idea of 40 years of marriage being special was not very interesting to me.  I didn't know either that the very next year my grandmother would be diagnosed with breast cancer and two years later she would be gone.

Tonight I thought a lot about the 40 years of marriage as I dressed our dining room.  Though my wife and I have only had the joy of a legal marriage since 2004, we have been together since 1978  That makes 40 years for us this May.

So much has happened in those years.  Years of joy, years of sorrow, challenges, triumphs, dreams both realized and deferred.  Through it all, we have had each other.  We are in so many ways such polar opposites, I am chatty and gregarious. She is friendly but reserved and treasures quiet space and times. Yet at our core, we are each others touch stones, and I can not envision life without my soulmate. 

It helps me understand more fully the spiralling despair that my grandfather went through when his wife died.  And it reminds me to treasure every moment, because the gift of true love is not just at Valentines Day and not to be taken lightly.