Saturday night I got a phone call from Rob who was in a difficult place. Due to some spectacularly bad decisions he was in a very bad financial place that has legal repercussions. Most of this week has been spent sorting that out and resolving the debts to other parties. As a result of this, he will move home in the this month and regroup and regain his financial footing.
He is a hard worker and none of this is due to that. It is, however, a result of his inability to say no to people, and to face hard things. His choice when frightened or confronted with something he does not like has always been avoidance. In this instance, avoidance equalled throwing away important mail and failing to discuss his crisis with us when it would have been much smaller and easier to assist with.
Part of what we will do during the time he lives at home again is work actively with him on budgeting. Also on how to keep track of your spending--it seems like many young people, he does not look at who he has paid, just lives off what the bank says the available balance is. So if a creditor has not yet pulled a payment, and he buys something with "available cash" then a problem arises.
I told him when he moved out that if he needed his room back in the first 12 months it was his. After that he could always come home, but he would take whatever room we could make available to him. This is only 8 months in, so Elisabeth is bouncing back to her old room and is taking this with good grace.
I am sorry for Rob because I know this has to be feeling like a step back. I have told him it is just a "course correction" and that he will not be here forever. I hope it feels that way to him and that he continues to feel the love with which we are enfolding him as he works to resolve this.
*Note: I wrote this post a week or so ago and forgot to post!
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