Fledging kids and failing parents

 KC is loving this semester of college.  He loved last semester too, but there is a lot more actual dancing in these classes and he is totally loving it.  He danced a lot last semester but typically in opportunities beyond classes that he sought out for himself.  As predicted, the house is quieter (and cleaner!) 

I am feeling better and was back at my dance class this week.  But aging parents are also weighing on my spirit lately.  Both my mom and my FIL (who is Dad to me) are 90  Mom is beginning to feel either unable and/or unwilling to cook for herself.  She is looking into a meals on wheels type option and I have been bringing her food that I cook. (I chronically over cook anyway and usually freeze for the future or use for lunches so this is not hard for me.)  However seeing her slowing down is hard.

More worrisome is Dad.  Til now he has been robust, walking his small dog regularly, and while his vision and hearing are poor the rest of him was in good health.  Last week I got a call from Life Alert that he was in distress and that emergency services were dispatched.  Life Alert then called me back and said he was being transported to the hospital.  (side note: I can't say enough good things about this company! I set up his account when he fell a few years ago walking the dog and cut his head badly.  They have been nothing short of amazing to deal with and help my mind be at ease with him 40 minutes away)

It turned out that he had a bacterial infection in his bloodstream and he was hospitalized til Friday when they got that under control.  Now he is in rehab to try and build up his strength.  He presently has to use a rollator to walk and for him to return home, he has to be able to go upstairs for bed and for bathing. We talked on the phone today and he is in good spirits.  He is highly motivated for his PT as he wants above all else to get back home to famliar surroundings and his little dog.

But it has been a hard emotional hit watching the two seniors begin to falter.  K said Dad told her at Thanksgiving that he was ready to see her mom again.  (she passed many years ago)  I kind of freaked out when K told me as her Dad has always been there for me in all the ways you would hope a dad could or would be. I can't envision life without him.

Back to College!

 Bags are packed.  Laundry is done.  Lists are made and banking's done.  Tomorrow when I get home from work the house will be quieter.  It will be cleaner.  It will be emptier.  KC returns to college tomorrow morning.  I am excited for him.  This really is such a great fit for him. He has a great circle of friends. He has been able to focus on his dance in a way that no other college he toured would have been able to accommodate.  He goes back to school ready to work with 13 dancers that he has gathered to dance a 13 minute piece that he has choreographed and will also be dancing.  It is part of a dance program the end of February.  To hear him take calls with a lighting person, and discuss his needs and expectations so knowledgably is amazing.  Every time I see him, he has grown so much, as a man and as an artist.  I can't wait to watch his production.  I glowed with pride reading his evaluations from his professors.  It was wonderful to know that these people see the man I see.  The talent, the sensitivity, and the committment to art, and to social justice.  

His break has had lots of good things.  Time for him to eat lots of his favorite home cooked meals. Time for him to reconnect with friends here and to work at the store saving money for the next tuition.  Time to be part of our family holiday traditions and to go to the Big City to see a concert with his sister, a friend and me.  He passed his drivers exam and is a fully licensed driver. He visited my mom (his nana) twice and had long talks with her.  He visited his "home" dance studio and danced with them at local nursing homes bringing some joy to local seniors.  In fact he got so invested in talking to the seniors after the show that he is missing from the group photo of the dancers.  But that is KC in a nutshell, someone who more often than not works at bringing smiles and joy to others.

So it's all good, and I am only selfishly mourning the fact that he leaves tomorrow.  This is right and he is ready. As soon as I get over this crud that keeps me barking like a seal, I'll jump back into my workouts and my own dance class and I will find things to occupy my time.  I am always a little down in the dumps this time of year.  The unremitting cold wears on my spirit and my body, but the wheel will turn.  We are getting more daylight hours now than we had in November.  Spring will be here before I know it and he will be home and we will be celebrating his birthday with a trip to the Big Apple to see The Wiz!

This was the  one and only picture I got of the kids at the concert a couple weeks ago.  

Christmas break is ending

 KC has been home since the middle of December.  It has been such a joy to have him here again.  The house is louder when he is here. It is messier when he is here. But it is filled with laughter also.  He's had friends over and gone to other friends homes.  He has worked a lot of hours at the grocery store, saving diligently for college tuition bills. He has eaten favorite foods and shared stories about school. We have watched shows together and he, Elisabeth, their friend J and I went into Boston to attend a concert together.  He finished driving school and passed his RMV test.  It's been a break filled with fun, work and good memories.

He's starting to pack now as he leaves next Monday to go back to school.  His bedroom is starting to show signs of the pending departure and will soon be a lot emptier.  It's hard when he leaves.  Every one of my kids has their own place in my heart and the void when he is not physically present is pretty large.  After a few weeks I get used to it, but it takes a while. It was like that when Rob left too.

He's ready for the return. I can sense it.  In some ways, our city is too small for him right now.  He is eager for those new classes and dance experiences.  He has been working on the choreography for the piece he is creating for a winter show at the school.  It will be performed in February and he has 13 dancers that he is working with for this piece.  He had a phone conversation with the people who will do his lighting while he was home on break.  It is exciting to see him grow, stretch, and reach new heights in an art that means so very much to him.

Christmas Vacation 2023

 That old phrase about life is what happens other than your plans is so very true!  I planned a very different "vacation" from what actually happened this holiday.  But regardless, our family time together was amazing and wonderful and I am so very grateful. My company closed early for the holiday on December 22nd.  The doors closed at noon and I actually was able to wrap up my work and be out the door by 1:30 or so.  Those who know me well, know that is pretty unprecedented.  I usually work till near to our regular closure time but I was seriously excited for vacation!  I went to my mom's and got her shopping list, went straight to the grocery store and did her shopping and came home.

Meanwhile, my wife had taken Elisabeth to the podiatrist that day for a surgery on her foot. She had a growth which he thought was a wart but wasn't sure and wanted to operate on.  It wound up meaning that she had 5 stitches in the bottom of her foot days before Christmas.

Right after I got home with the groceries and got them unloaded, Chet came downstairs and was talking with my wife and I.  About a minute or two in and he began to say he was dizzy and very hot. We got him into a chair and seated and almost immediately he began to have a seizure.  I could brace him and make sure that he did not fall and my wife called 911.  It was only about 6 weeks since his previous serious seizure incident. The doctors had thought the seizure were due to his severe shingle outbreak and we had thought it was an isolated event.

Things worsened though and the EMTs decided he should be transported to the hospital.  Once there, they discovered he had dangerously low potassium levels (likely due to the violent voiding of his stomach after the seizures) They admitted him, put him on a potassium drip, and scheduled 2 MRI's, one without contrast and one with. My wife was with him for most of this; I was home taking care of Elisabeth and her stitched foot.

We were lucky that we were able to have him discharged before Christmas so we were all together, despite stitches and seizures.  Rob came down from Maine and spent Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.  I went and brought my Mom to the house to spend Christmas Day with us.  Despite the unexpected (which is what life is) we had a happy time and made wonderful memories.  

However my days off were filled with surgical follow ups, KC's annual physical, and Chet's drs appointments.  We are still waiting for a contrast MRI which will take place early next month.  The non contrast MRI showed some brain scarring and they therefore want a contrast.  He has started a low dose of anti seizure meds and thus far there have been no other seizures.  We have also practiced with him what to do if he feels like he might have a seizure as there are times when he is home alone.

What I didn't do on my vacation was work on beginning the repointing of our foundation. This was my hope but it was not to be.  But the foundation will still be there the next time I have a bit of time off!