I love the Grammys but. . .

I love music.  Almost every kind of music there is. There is one genre I don't particularly love but I will not even put out there what it is.  The reason is that to me, music is an important way for us to express the things that our spoken words or innermost thoughts are afraid to say.

I loved the Grammy's this year, though I confess I have DVR'd the last 30 minutes so that I will watch it tonight.  I also was loathe to give up my 30 minutes of reading time so I am having my cake and eating it too with the magic of recording.

Lots of my favorite artists won this year--notably Kendrick Lamar and Bruno Mars.  What was also notable to me was who did not win.  Namely Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee.  Despacito was the biggest hit (obviously we are just talking about my opinion here) in 2017  For actual stats, I looked up how many youtude hits it had.  There were something like 4 billion by October of last year.  I did not bother to look up how many sales there were, or downloads of the song, but I am sure there were high numbers there. 

So I ask you, why did they not win?  I believe simply they did not win because it was a latin group singing a latin song and this was a "mainstream" award.  We haven't come all that far people.

Strength in the hard times

It's been a hard week.  A hard week for our nation where results show how divided we truly are.  Results that gave hate talk and injustice a seeming legitimacy.  It has been a hard week as a parent, navigating this morass.  I believe in sharing reality with my children but I also believe that we can't lose hope.  We have to believe--I have to believe--that love can and will ultimately triumph.  This is not the final decision and there is much we can do to share and spread love. Much we can do to protect the vulnerable.  We must step up and do this work.  I believe that the best of people is usually revealed in the worst situations.

On a personal level I have had a migraine for 3 days which is wearing my body and patience rather thin.  At this time of year I do more driving in darkness and the headlights are a trigger for me.  It is exhausting and I was too yucky feeling last night to attend a party that I had been looking forward to for a month or more.  End of personal pity party.

Then there have been ongoing changes and concerns at my daughter's group home.  We meet today to discuss the pet issue that had been approved by the previously approved is apparently not approved now.  Last night at 10:30 I also received a call from Fiona and an employee of the home.  Fi has been saving money for the bunny needs and had a budget and now all but 60 of the money is missing.  The group home worker and I are furious because Fiona would always ask before she spent money if this was coming out of her "bunny fund."  Fi can't read a lot and can't do math well; her budgeting strategies are using envelopes to save for things she wants and needs. She has done this several times successfully in the past, most recently saving for a large screen TV for her room.  Part of today's meeting will involve my asking for a full accounting of her expenditures from her spending money for the past 3 months. I will expect receipts and a full explanation of why the plan was not followed.

I feel a huge breach of trust and I know that Fiona does too. There have been big goals that she has worked hard on for this.  She feels that she met these goals "for nothing".  I can't blame her.  I can't ask her to trust people that I no longer trust.

And then last night I learned that Leonard Cohen had passed away.  Hallelujah is my favorite song.  I listen to a zillion different versions of that, my most favorite being Leonard himself and artists who perform it acoustically or "stripped down."  Today I will listen to it and remember that we all have gifts to give.  Leonard gave the gift of music for over 50 years.  Today my gift must be that of advocacy and accountability.

Festival Fun!

Yesterday we went to the Life is Good festival in a fairly far away location.  The festival is the charitable side arm of the Tshirt company of the same name.  I went for a few reasons.  First off, one of the many musical acts was The Fresh Beat Band who are beloved by 3 of my 4 kids at home.  Secondly, I had the opportunity to hear the young owner of Life is Good speak at an event I attended for work and I found him to be enthusiastic and inspiring.  I want my kids to believe they can make a difference and when you see a young person doing that and having fun doing that, it is a really beautiful thing. 100 per cent of the festival profits go to help children whose lives have been touched by trauma, whether that is through illness or violence.

There were reasons I could have opted out.  The tickets were pretty expensive.  I did not know how to get there and hate to drive long distances because of my headaches. I knew managing Chet's autistic issues in a venue of that size would be um, challenging.  But we went. and it was amazing and worth it.

Because we arrived early in the day, the kids actually got to see the Life Is Good owner Jacob and his brother who were making the rounds of the vendor tents.  I thought Rob's jaw was going to scrape the ground when he saw a guy dressed uber casually in cargo shorts, t shirt and cool hat and learned who he was.  Jacob always dresses like that, that is the same way he looked when he spoke to thousands of housing industry folks too. LOL

The festival has a tremendous green effort too with recycling, composting and trash bins all located everywhere around the venue. Volunteers were stationed there to make sure that the correct receptacle was used.  My Chet was ecstatic to see this as environmental awareness is his passion.

The music was great and we saw the band the kids love so much.  This part was hard for Chet as the music, which is really a cacophany of noise to him as he can not filter out crowds, music and other background noise began to overwhelm him.  First his head goes from side to side.  (When he was little he would stand in a doorway and do that and bang it on either side of the door casings till we intervened.) Next his whole body would begin to kind of jerk back and forth.  We were way in the back which was not optimal viewing but what I knew was the only way he could handle this.  The set was only an hour which was just about his outer limits for holding it together and then we began to walk the grounds. We could enjoy other musical acts as we walked around.  Mellow jazz strains filtered through the afternoon at one point and Rob recognized the artist as someone his piano teacher really enjoys.

There were games to play, face painting, an obstacle course and much much more.We had to leave by 3 because the littles were really tired and we had a long drive home and had to get back and let our poor pooch out.  (K was at work all day)  Truly, Life is Good!!

Beautiful Music!

Yesterday afternoon was Rob's piano recital.  He played two pieces, both written by the band Cold Play who he likes very much.  I am in awe of how calm and self assured he is at the piano.  He plays with great feeling and skill. (I know I am the mom but since I can only play chopsticks and that with help, you must excuse the gushing!)

I rarely hear him play unless it is a public venue.  At home he pracices with headphones on and all I hear is the click of the keys going up and down.  This also is probably part of why it is such a rush for me when I actually hear the music springing forth from his fingers and his soul.

 I tried to take a picture, but my camera is woefully unable to handle the dim lighting of the  church where the recital was held. I have lots of pics but they look totally black!

Today we head to the great school in the Big City for Fiona's fashion show.  I have to go to work early as I am leaving an hour early, so I had better sign off!

Saturday re-cap

A dear friend and former coming of age mentor for Rob captured this picture of him at the coffee house last evening.  I am so glad as my teeny little digital camera doesn't do well in low light situations and you can tell from the strings of white lights behind him that the light was less than ideal for a lower level camera.

Today was a busy day and predictably filled with spats from littles who were up way later than usual last evening.  That they slept till nearly 7 a.m. didn't negate being out till after 10 p.m. LOL  But I am willing to deal with whiny kid fall out because not only did both KC and Rob perform, but I have a really strong belief that families are whenever possible all there to cheer each other on.  I want my kids to always have each others backs, and if they are not there to share the joys, how will they have the strength and courage to share the lows?

We did our shopping, our banking, made a trip to the laundramat to wash Rob's comforter and visited the library. Then we came home and I cleaned the kitchen and made an apple pie.  We had a last minute invite for a play date for the littles but I begged off.  I know I can handle them whiny, but I don't necessarily think others should have to! LOL

It was Observation Day at dance class.  Once every 6 weeks or so the parents get to see what the kids have been working on.  KC has freaked about this over the past 2 years. Today, didn't faze him in the least.  He is so happy dancing. I love to see it.   Miss Lissa on the other hand, has become "KC Number 2" as the dance teacher put it. Actually not as bad as KC though by a long shot.  She cried for the first part of the Observation time but was able to cuddle with me for a bit and then go back for tap.

Tomorrow is church, and then Rob is volunteering at an ecology center with a friend until choir and youth group.  I love that the kids are busy in such positive ways. 

My heart sings!

I can barely carry a tune but tonight was a delightful musical melange!  Our teen youth group hosted a coffee house and there was the most amazing talent shared. From 6 year olds to senior citizens, there were all kinds of music shared.  (and also a recitation of the poem "The Highwayman" which I remember making my mother read over and over to me when I was about 9 or 10 years old!)

I loved all the music, but I was mighty partial to two of the acts.  KC and Rob both performed.  The fact that KC performed willingly was enough of a gift, the fact that he was happy both before and after doing it, priceless.  He played "The Bells of Michelmas" on his recorder and aquitted himself very well.

But Rob.  Rob played a piece that he has written at his piano lessons with some assistance from his teacher.  It is powerful and so beautiful.  I have heard it once before on our keyboard here at home.  I have got to get my son a piano.  He has talent and the difference in sound and tone on the piano tonight vs our keyboard--well there is no contest.  I can tell that all his teen passion and feelings go into his music and I am so grateful that he has this outlet to express himself in a way that is creative and positive.

At the intermission the teen choir director came up and shared with K and I how much the folks who work with the teen choir love him.  She said he is the kind of student that music teachers dream of having. They are amazed that he has only studied piano about a year.  He has an ability to accompany with percussion instruments and they have utilized him with a large drum (which he did tonight) and apparently also with shaker type instruments.  Frankly I can't play music so much of what Rebecca was saying about his talent, I only dimly understand.  That's okay!  I can and am so proud of him and that's all I need to understand.  And all Rob has to know too.

The night was further brightened by sharing the evening with our dear friends and the kids godparents, G and W.  Special night. Special people. Special music.

Changing before my eyes

KC is an artist at heart but also has significant stage fright issues.  He had to decide by this weekend if he would be in the recital this year.  He put off the decision  all week  and woke yesterday all in a dither over it. "Oh this is the worst day of my life," he declared dramatically.  "Heart Attack!  Horror!"  Seriously, this was a quote. Ate least I know his vocabulary is good.  LOL

I said that he did not have to be in the recital. But that he had to understand that Lissa WANTS to be and he could not ruin the experience for her.  Also he would not be able to hang out back stage with me, but he could absolutely enjoy watching the show with the family members who would be in the audience.  He went away, deep in thought and an hour later told Miss Heidi at dance class that he would be performing.

Today at church I was purchasing tickets to the youth group coffee house this coming Friday.  The sign up sheet for the acts was on the poster next to me.  I saw KC writing something but truly did not know what he was doing as I was more focussed on writing my check.  When I asked what he was up to I got a withering look and a "duh, signing up for the coffee house of course!"  He apparently plans to play the recorder on Friday and allegedly will practice in front of all of us during the week so that he won't be feeling anxious!  Go figure.

Jumping from Fall to Winter

This shot was taken this evening.  It is not even November.  Clearly the goddess has a sense of humor.  Me, not so much.  I am not ready for the fingerless gloves that I wear from November to oh, about June.  But clearly I have to get ready.

I sort of  worked at getting ready today by the tribe all getting their flu shots.  Lissa is totally unfazed by shots.  Watches calmly, hops down off the table, business done.  KC, um not so much.  In fact, King of Drama doesn't begin to describe the histrionics we were treated to.  I am reasonably sure they heard the wails in  Peru. LOL  Rob finds it all funny which is in itself funny as at 7, he was KC.  Just quieter but no less anxious and uncooperative. LOL  Chet has always been easy about that kind of thing and becuase we went early in the a.m. we were in out and done before much time elapsed.

I finally got my scrapbook program back on my computer, thanks to the work of my lovely and talented wife and I made a scrapbook page for Fiona of our last visit together. It came out cute and of course now the kids are clamoring to have their books updated. They are only 5 months out of date. Sheesh, what is the hurry?  LOL

But despite the snow I am glowing inside! Our church youth group does a coffee house a couple times a year as  a fund raiser for the trips that they do.  Lots of teens perform but so also do lots of other people. Rob has gone before and he has often helped in the kitchen.  This year, he thinks he has decided to perform. Can I just say Woo Hoo!!!!!! He also said it was okay for us to be there and the kids are stoked to see Rob play. I'm excited not just because he is my kid and he plays well. He does, but the fact that he has the self confidence to share that talent in the wider world is what makes me grin!

Piano Recital!

I have never offered music to my kids with the edict that they must perform.  I believe that music has a deep ability to heal, to soothe and to allow for expression in ways that words sometimes can not. For those reasons alone, music lessons have always been money well spent to me.  Chet took guitar lessons for 6 years.  He derived pleasure from messing around in his room and from the social aspects of his classes. KC has played recorder for a year and delights in just picking up his instrument and playing.

Rob asked to take piano lessons just a bit over a year ago.  I said sure, though I was surprised.  I too can stereotype and Rob was so strongly into athletics that I missed the signs of how much music was beginning to mean to him.  On the plus side, the fact that I love music and haul my kids to a variety of musical experiences was obviously benefitting him despite my cluelessness. LOL

But he began his piano lessons. And I rarely heard him play though I saw him practice often.  Sometimes I think that putting on the headphones and playing was respite from the hubbub of our busy noisy family.  Sometimes I think it meant he could not hear me ask him to do a chore. LOL  But it was meeting an emotional need and I let it be.  Once in a rare while I would hear really lovely music in the hall at church, or in our living room when I would be coming in from outside, and I would smile to know it was Rob.

By his very guarded, quiet nature I always felt that his music was his own private joy, and that others were not necessarily going to be let in.  Today he decided to change that.  He played a piece by his favorite group The Fray and was backed up by a guitarist and his teacher who played some instrument that he blew into but looked like a small keyboard.  I have no clue what it was.  Oh and a drummer.  He did great.  The piece was wonderful. He was watched by his siblings, my wife and I, his grandmother and her new gentleman companion, and his god parents. 

My greatest gift, was his demeanor.  Rob has PTSD and his stress response is always pretty close to the surface. Often, it is most visible in group settings.  But not today. The magic of music gifted my son with a calm joy that literally just radiated off him.  I am so blessed.

I took a few shots with our camera but suspect they did not come out well.  The sanctuary where the recital was held is large and sucked the tiny little flashes life right out of it. I'll try and mess around with computer editing to make it look decent and post later!

Happy Birthday KC

 Behold!  The artist birthday cake!  Replete with marshmallow fondant (MANY thanks to a blog reader who suggested the recipe.  It tasted divine!) Gum paste and modeling chocolate were used to make the box of "crayons." The big "paint brush the kids made out of a squished up rice krispie treat covered with fondant and painted with food coloring gel.  There are sugar crayons on the cake and we made a pencil and paint tube from edibles as well.  Oh, and the palate!  It was pretty cool looking if I do say so myself.

 And here is the King for A day!  KC is finally 7.  In case you were wondering, he picked the hat!

 Lissa, ready to party!

 Chet preparing to have pizza at the party.

Rob is always up for parties and is a huge help in getting things ready!

So the morning was church  where Rob and the Youth Group sang with Joe Jencks.  KC sat through the whole service because a) he wanted to see his big brother up there singing and b) he adores Joe.  Lissa went to the kids programming which was a better option for a wiggly 4 year old.  We got home about 1 and had the pizza and the party.  The party was replete with "party games" chosen by KC.  A mini table ping pong game and finger football were lots of fun. Then we did a pinata. The games all happened after the gifts and the cake so that my poor tired wife could go take a nap. LOL  She fell asleep for 2 hours while we played party games.

Rob had to be back at church early for the concert with Joe Jencks so a friend picked him up.  The little kids and i followed later and got there a bit before it started at 7 p.m. To say it was a long night for KC and Lissa would be a great understatement. We did not get home till after 10 p.m.  Lissa usually goes to sleep at 6:30 so she was asleep in the car. KC was still awake.  It was so worth the effort though. First of all, I would have been there anyway--with the kids--because Rob was singing 3 songs with Joe Jencks and his band and the youth choir.  I have a really firm rule that one of the things families do is cheer each other on.  We are there for the good times and the tough times and it is easier to be there for the latter if you have celebrated the former together. The littles are used to being "cheerleaders" and I know it was important to Rob that we be there.  He would never come right out and ask as this is not something he ever does.  But when I asked if he wanted to sing in the concert, he asked if we would be there.  When I said yes, of course, that was when he agreed that he wanted to do it.

So anyway, KC also adores Joe Jencks music.  We have ever CD the guy has ever made and KC knows many of the songs by heart.  It is a little odd to have a  little kids who has songs about striking union workers and civil rights workers who lost their lives as their favorite play list, but that is what it is! LOL 

A friend of ours told Joe that it was KC's birthday and after the concert he came up to us specially and wished KC happy birthday and sang Happy Birthday to him.  I thought KC was going to melt in a puddle of excitement.  Despite the late hour, he had such a gigantic smile on his face.  It was the perfect end to a magical birthday.

And though they will be cranky today, they will all have special memories to carry forward.  Lissa waving like crazy at Rob while he was on stage.  KC's special song, amazing music, pretty good way to launch year 7!

Counting up to 7

KC turns 7 on Sunday.  This blows my mind more than most of my kids milestone birthdays.  He was such a tiny infant, so fragile, that to see this self assured "big kid" emerging is mind blowing.  His birthday will be hectic and quite the event this year. 

We don't do a lot of "kid" parties because they are honestly cost prohibitive. But we are still all about celebrating.  This week the birthday mural which KC has helped design, will go up on our dining room wall.  And on Sunday we will party. 

KC loves music almost as much as art.  All kinds of music. (sadly I heard him singing Linkin Park 2 days ago)  From the Wiggles to top 40 to classics, and my beloved reggae, he is a music afficianado.  Our church often invites the musician Joe Jencks to do a Sunday service.  When KC heard Joe was going to be singing on his birthday he was convinced that Joe was coming just for him.  The fact that Joe also hails from Illinois adds extra cachet.  Joe is a folk singer who sings about issues of injustice. So KC had all ready opted to skip his children's religious ed class and stay in the service so he could hear Joe next Sunday.

Last night we found out that Robbie's Youth Choir has been invited to sing in a real concert with Joe and his band Brother Sun on that Sunday night. So after the birthday party we are returning to church for the concert.  KC now isn't sure what he is most excited about, going to a real concert or the fact that his big brother will be up there with Joe.

KC Cracks Me Up!

 OK, this is a pic from KC's last dance recital.  He is always twirling around the front hall, grabbing Lissa and doing a fairly credible version of some ballroom stuff. Loves ballet and has the best leaps in his class. 

And this is KC too!  In a blink of an eye he can become a "rocker" as seen here, or the baseball hat goes on backwards and he is a rapper and a b-boy, singing and break dancing.  I asked him where he learned how to rap and he held his thumb and forefinger apart about an inch and looked and me and said "Ooma I've been a rapper since I was this big!"  ROFL

Oh and just for the record, I am making a HUGE parental sacrifice for KC's recital this year.  The local radio stations sponsored day long concert is the same day.  I will miss. Flo-rida.  Sniff.  One Republic.  Sob.  Tyler Cruz, the band that sings G6.  And more.  Yes more.  But I blocked it all out and focussed on how darn cute he will be as a gingerbread boy in his tap number!

More reasons to love homeschooling

KC adores recorder class.  He also seems to have a real affinity for reading music and learning the notes. He will often practice twice a day.  Not long practices, just grab the recorder and sit down and play 4 or 5 little songs.  Then he might noodle around and make up his own song and then put it away.  Often this is done for my benefit because I am washing the dinner dishes and might be bored. LOL

Anyway, we just discovered that the curriculum only teaches 1/2 the notes to first graders.  The recorder book ends without learning several notes.  So I called the company and for $10 I can get the second grade recorder book which will allow him to continue learning notes and making new and beautiful music.

Musical Self Analysis

Rob and I finished watching the VMA's tonight. We had to tape the last half of them last night and see them tonite.  I am trying to get him to be able to stay up a bit later and still be able to function the next day but he does still really need a lot of sleep.  So we called it a night last night at 10ish. 

Music is a great way to connect with teens--especially teens that otherwise are less than talkative.  They love to share tidbits about the artists they like, dis or applaud as they see fit and tell me interesting factoids (such as Linkin Park did the sound track for the Transformer movies. . . my life is richer for knowing that LOL)  But it is a bonding kind of thing and I enjoy so many kinds of music. . .

The funny thing is that I have always said I have not got the ability to remember songs from the past though.  You know how people have that song from way back in high school that they remember.  It defines their experiences.  Or a song that was playing when they met their love etc etc.  Well I remember artists I liked but I could never seem to remember the lyrics.  Maybe a chorus but that would be it.  K on the other hand would be belting out Billy Joe's Piano Man or Meatloaf's Bat out of Hell and staring at me when I could only sort of bob my head and hum

VH1 has reassured me.  I do not have early onset alzheimers musicalus.  I discovered that although I like LOTS of music, I seem to have a leaning toward hip hop.  How do I know this?  I was listening to a VH1 special on the top 100 hip hop songs of all time.  And I KNEW them.  I could sing them!

So although I enjoyed Billy Joel, and Bob Seger and White Snake in my younger days, apparently my deeper musical leanings are hip hop and r&b.The thing is, that among my friends there was NO ONE who listened to R and B and hip hop.  So the songs that I shared with my friends at school, with K, those were rock songs.  Which I enjoyed, but obviously didn't love enough to remember deeply. Go figure!  This bit of musical psycho analysis is brought to you by VH*1 LOL

Rob tries piano!

So today was Rob's first piano class.  He and his teacher really seemed to hit it off.  It is only 30 minutes which is a great time fit for him.  The instructor said he has some good musical instincts and was surprised to learn he hasn't really had much in the line of musical education up till now.  K said our Rob had a big smile on his face when he came out and that was worth it all to me.  

I talk with the prospective piano teacher

Last night I called the fellow that KC's music teacher recommended as a piano teacher for Rob.  He sounds super nice and should be a good fit for my quiet guy.  He lives here in town and teaches out of his home which is not far from us.  I explained that the reason Rob wants to learn piano is that the lead singer on The Fray plays piano and Rob is all about hte Fray.  Joe said he actually uses The Fray's music with some of his students.  That is so extremely cool.  I said I knew Rob was not an aficionado of classical music so learning The Blue Danube Waltz or Fur Elise or something would probably send him screaming from the room.  Luckily, Joe seems to enjoy many types of music and he is willing to focus more on contemporary music with Rob.  He'll call back in a couple weeks with the class schedule.

A tale of two recorders

Several years ago on Rob's homeschool journey we introduced him to the recorder.  He hated it.  Passionately.  Deeply.  Would forget to practice.  Would refuse to practice.  All in all, it was not a "joy of music" experience."  LOL  We decided that art has to be joyful, has to be a way to express yourself and that this was just becoming something to have a power struggle about.  Since one can certainly have a healthy life without playing recorder, we terminated our recorder lessons.

Fast forward a few years and KC begins studying recorder.  He loves it. He practices voluntarily.  He progresses.  Last night Rob decided to once more hide books and such in his bed.  One of the "and such" that he hid was his recorder.

So today, K told him that he would "have" to practice with KC after breakfast. Rob turned away, ostensibly to get his recorder but not before we caught the flash of smile on his face.  He practiced with KC and apparently, this is his odd way of 'saying' he would like to try recorder again.  Go figure.

A Musical Question

So on Sunday I took the kids to a layled service at church.  Part of the service involved some time in small groups.  The idea was to be with people you did not know and get to know them better by working on a "truly excellent question."  A truly excellent question was defined as one that was hard to answer, and maybe didn't even HAVE an answer.  Like how big is the universe, what endures, etc.  Philosophical, you know?

I found a group with 2 people I didn't know, one I did and the tribe and I settled in and did introductions.  I was surprised at how readily and easily KC contributed to the discussion.  As a homeschooling parent it gladdens my little heart because no one is going to look at that boy and say "oh he needs socialization."  Probably they said that with Chet.  Probably they are put off by Rob's very quiet shy demeanor and say that about him.  Neither needed "socializing," in the public school sense and in fact, both did not achieve in those environments.  But I digress.

Our group decided that a truly excellent question was what kind of music was the best. The ultimate. The most awesome.  And of course, that is a  hard question to answer.  Especially for someone like me who adores almost everything. Well, except country music.  I have a hard time with the farm failing, the wife running off with the drifter, the dog getting rabies and the flood.  LOL  Other than that, it is okay.  (and being more honest I actually do like select country artists, just have a limited threshold for the entire genre.)

One of the adults asked KC what kind of music he thought was the absolute best.  He sat there thinking for awhile, little chin in hand.  Now mind you this is a kid who is as diverse in musical interests as me.  He falls asleep each night to classical music, grooved to Bob Marley during feedings (and one of his songs is still his lullaby).  Knows an embarrassing amount of lyrics to most top 40 songs.  And adores the Wiggles and something strange called the Doodlebops.  So I truly didn't know what he would say.  After carefully contemplating a bit, he said, "I guess I would have to say Joe Jencks."  OK, a folk singer who has used his art to highlight injustice in the world.  I can live with that!

Spring Approaches

On 3-2-10 (note numerical symmetry!) K and the kids clipped some forsythia branches from the yard and brought them inside to force.  It has been fun for the kids to watch the gradual changes in the plant.  The subtle color changes, the buds swelling, it was all very magical.  And that magic is the essence of spring to me.  The leap that mother earth takes from bare and barren to lush and fertile.  Despite my allergies it is a much anticipated time for me.

Sunday there was a guest choir at church.  When I saw my friend Raven and his fellow singers enter the church I was both excited and morose in equal measure. It was great to see him--we have been friends via a homeschool list since Chet was young. We used to see each other regularly but his daughter is grown now and our homeschooling of the younger kids has led in other directions somewhat.   I was obligated to work in KC's classroom and knew I wouldn't hear their beautiful music.  I snuck in and listened to bits of the rehearsal but couldn't really stay and focus on the magic (yup, there's that word again) of the music.  Part of my mind was on class and what we would be doing with the children.  I am not all that good about staying in the moment.

After church I was washing paintbrushes when my Chet came to me all excited.  Raven wanted me to come into the sanctuary.  My fellow teacher came with me and the rest of my own kids.  And I was gifted with the most beautiful equinox song I have ever heard.  Sound and praise and beauty and joy swelled around us.  Truly I was honored  to receive the gift of music.  For a few moments I watched my kids faces as the songs strains began to transport them and then I gave myself up to the music and just let it fill me.  It, and our forsythia, were the most beautiful welcomes to the coming spring that I could imagine.

American Music Awards

I  missed the American Music Awards and I wish I hadn't.  Adam Lambert had a really controversial number,supposedly rife with sex.  Gay sex.  Gasp!  First off, I confess I like Adam.  I wanted him to win Idol cause I like his audacity and I think his voice and vocal ability is flat out amazing.  That said, I wish I had seen the performance that everyone is going nuts about.  By the time the idea occured to me to check You Tube, the video had all ready been taken down because of course, it was copy righted.

Now, don't get me wrong.  I am not really a big fan of in your face sex.  That said, I think it is there all the time in music.  In the videos, in the performaces.  I remember Madonna videos causing all kinds of controversy.  I remember being surprised at some that I saw more recently. Rhianna's "umbrella" video I seem to remember as being pretty sexualized.  I think I remember some of R. Kelly's that were pretty intense.  I am really bad with connecting names with specific videos because I am always doing something else when I watch, but I know there have been lots.  The thing is, they might have caused some controversy but nothing to this level. Because at the end of the day, it was heterosexual sex that was being portrayed and that somehow made it okay.  It is "OK" for back up dancers to grind up against a lead singer in a totally provocative way.  Can anyone really believe they are not pantomiming a sex act?  Doubt it!

But Adam dared to do the same 'envelope pushing' as a gay man.  Kissing a man on stage (and I am guessing we are not talking a little peck by the furor that has ensued) and other dramatic dancing and acting that disturbed (to put it mildly) lots of viewers.  Was it appropriate to the venue, with respect to time slot and the fact that lots of kids were likely watching?  Maybe not.  But is it more appropriate for a woman to wear a bustier and fishnets and grind on a guy in the same time block? My guess is that if my kids had seen it I would have had the same discussion about the time and place for intimate actions regardless of whether it was Adam or a female star who was acting out sex with a man.   At the end of the day for me, that explanation needs to come from me.  My kids will see the world in a variety of ways whether I want them to or not.  Part of my job is to have a relationship that will allow us to process what they see, and to give them hopefully, a values set that will allow them to handle situations that may be outside their comfort zone.  Now, are y'all glad that I didn't feel like writing about how we made place cards for our Thanksgiving table today?