Ages and Stages

Someone I read once said that essentially there are stages of growth and everyone goes through them.  Well for a long time, I wasn't sure that was really so.  My only bench mark for years was Chet and his emotional and social growth progression was so uneven that I couldn't be sure. 

But lately, he has been a big overgrown pre-schooler.  With food.  The interesting thing to me is that little kids typically like to try new foods.  They are adventurers at that stage in life.  And they are cute, so when they say "I don't like it" after they have licked it or bit it or whatever, it is no big deal.

But Chet was never like that.  As is true with many autistic people he had food issues, and sensory issues.  And sitting and eating issues.  He had about 6 foods he liked and we spent most of his childhood getting him used to a wider array of nutritious things.  For a period of time he was so limiting in his diet that I supplemented with Boost and Ensure shakes to make sure he got a sufficient amount of calories and nutrients.

Here's the thing.  All of a sudden at 25 years old, Chet is all about trying foods.  You set something out for cooking and he is there, "hey can I try that?"  Much the way that Rob found ways to re-capture childhood experiences he should have had as a baby and didn't, Chet is now being an adventurous little pre-schooler.  Personally, it is fine with me.  One of my favorite books is Leo the Late Bloomer!

Late night musings

Most times I am very much a "live in the present" kind of gal.  I am generally an optimist by nature.  Glasses are always half full to me.  This is not to say that I don't plan for things because I sure as heck do.  Couldn't do Yule for a family our size if I didn't plan waaaay ahead!  But I don't tend to borrow trouble as my mom used to say.  I don't do a lot of "what ifs" when my kids go out to play.  Or when we travel.  Or when I watch the news.

There is one exception though.  Drugs.  I have to confess I worry about drugs a lot.  Maybe it is because I read some of Katie Granju's blog where she details the horrific loss of her beloved son Henry. A mother who parented her son in many of the same ways that I parent my children. 

 Maybe it is because the jury is out on what the incidence is for a child to become a drug user if the first mother was.  There are some studies that say the incidence is higher but in those cases many of the children were reared in that unhealthy environment.  So what I worry about is if the stability of my loving home counters a potential genetic predisposition to addictive substances.  And obviously I don't know, nor can I know for a long time.  But every once in a while, I fret and wonder, and pray.

Back Handsprings?????

Today was gymnastics for Lissa.  We barely made it to class on time because she has to eat before we go or she is so desparately hungry when we get home that she melts down in a truly unbelievably awful fashion.  We have found that mac and cheese give her just the right combo of protein and carbs and then she has a light supper when we come home.

But back to the class.  We did the first exercise which involves pretending one is a tree in the forest that has been chopped down and falling backward onto a mat.  She does this fearlessly, did it for the first time last week and apparently adores it.  So Coach M stepped up the game and taught her how to jump into this backward falling tree thing and happily told me it was to prepare her for a back handspring.  Oh my.  

Then we went over to the straddle roll station and she aced that.  Then to the place where they practice something called donkey kicks, except that with Lissa she is practicing handstand readiness as she does amazing donkey kicks.  (which is no surprised as my wee miss can be totally mule headed; please excuse bad pun.)  Then because I guess Lissa decided things hadn't been "fun" enough she hollers to her coach, "Hey Coach watch this and throws herself backward on the mat sort of putting her hands up behind her head.  If it had been done with more control it might have been a graceful backbend.  It wasn't that but she didn't wreck herself either.  Coach M gasped as Lissa laughed.  I looked at Coach and said "this is my living room, every single day."  I bet she  finally REALLY believes me now that I didn't teach Lissa that dive roll!

Fionas Call, K's BP

Fiona called last  night.  She is doing well. She shared the letter she wrote to her cousin and it is amazingly mature.  In essence it says that she forgives her for disappearing out of her life and that she loves her and hopes that they can reconnect and work up to family visits.  It is huge for Fiona to embrace the concept of forgiveness; I am blown away by that.Typically she had only two default options, self blame or anger at the person.  I am less sure that the cousin will see herself as having things to be forgiven for, but I hope she just takes it in the spirit intended.

Unfortunately the amazing Jane is not available on Saturdays until early November so we won't get together till then.  If this visit was not scheduled to be our first off site visit, I would not really feel Jane needed to be there.  But it is, and the reality is, that a) I don't know the area at all and b) I don't know how Fiona will be off campus.  So we have scheduled for the first Saturday in November.  At least she has a date and although we will keep reminding her of that and use the weeks ahead to plan what we will do and where we will go.

Meanwhile my wife has found out that she appears to have hypertension. She is very surprised by this because she has been eating fairly healthfully and losing weight and exercising semi regularly.  I do think though that she holds onto a lot of stress and that may be more the culprit than diet or exercise.  Our MD wants us to buy a machine that will allow her to do a month of readings and then she will bring those to his office and they will decide at that time if medication is in her future.  Meanwhile, I am hoping she will consider yoga or meditation to help her relax mentally.

A new migraine medicine

OK so thus far the jury is waay out on the new herbal supplement I am trying.  But I haven't had it for long enough to be fair and it is also unfair to think it will produce a miracle, like living migraine free.  Though I can dream, right?  Well today I had a doozy of a headache and it got markedly worse at the end of the day.  It was rainy here today yet the headlights of the cars on the way home were killing me. It is a ridiculously short commute too, so it is silly.

After supper I went up to lie down for a few minutes figuring semi darkness and a prone position might make me feel less queasy.  Lissa and KC were taking forever to finish up and they were so busy entertaining one another that it was pretty loud.  Funny, but loud.  At any rate, after I had been lying there about 15 minutes I heard them announcing that they had finished.  Mind you the dining room is on the first floor and my bedroom on the second.  (just in case you didn't believe the loud factor!) 

Pretty soon they realized that I was upstairs lying down. They remembered that I had come home with a migraine. I could hear them in the stairhall below me trying to decide what to do to make me "all better."  Finally they decided putting on a merlin cap and bringing me a model T-Rex would do the trick. LOL

Kinda did too, because it was so sweet and so cute.  T-Rex, the new defeater of migraines, who knew? (chuckle)

A ducky Sunday

This is the kind of picture you get from a 14 year old that you make the photographer at an event he isn't thrilled about attending. LOL  After church yesterday we went to a playland/farm type place for an adoption picnic hosted by the agency that did our homestudies for both KC and Elisabeth.  They are an amazing agency and I know from personal experience that they are very supportive and truly counsel birth moms who contact them. (this is not  in relation to my last two adoptions but to the experience that a family member had who had contacted them with an unplanned pregnancy.)

At any rate, we go every year, but going this year meant missing a couple quarters of football.  Rob is all about football.  I made him the photographer as he also usually loves that task and it gave me both hands to help the littles on the play equipment.  So of course, I figured he was taking cute shots of the kids on the neat climbing apparatus, or digging for the "dinosaur" bones or pretending to milk the cow statue. 

Nope, got pics of ducks and deer and other wildlife.  Gotta love teen revenge!  It was fun though despite that glitch and I love seeing  D and R who helped us through the choppy waters of the interstate compact in our adoption process. They are truly both kind and amazing people.   And we were home before 1/2 time so Rob still got to see his Patriots!

Last night was also Rob's first youth group experience.  Technically last year he was old enough but I felt he wasn't mature enough to handle it and would feel intimidated by the older teens there.  Our church has a really amazing youth group and kids hang in all through high school and often come back to visit from college.  But this year, at 14 I thought he needed to stretch a little so he gave it a go, and thus far, it's all good!

Strolling through Saturday

We are in our "normal" Saturday routine now. We shop early in the morning when the grocery story opens at 7:00 a.m. Then we come home and unload and relax till just a bit before 9:00.  Then we head to the bank and over to the dance school for KC's dance class.  He is so happy to be back at the class.  He adores his teacher and also just the time to express himself with movement.  He can't wait till next year because he'll be old enough for hip hop.  Last year I had to work super hard to make friends among the dance parents but I must have passed the muster as this year everyone was friendly and I had folks to chat with the whole hour of class.  This is good. I am a chatter by nature.

After that we head to the library and then home for lunch.  Today, because our city had a fair in the center of town, we all walked down town after lunch and hung out there for an hour or so.  Then we came home and I made cookies to bring to the adoption picnic tomorrow. 

The weather is a huge gift today. Warm, probably hot to some folks, but I love it so.  I think I will go plan supper on the deck for the tribe because there won't be too many more nights with temps like this!