Saturday NIghts Fireside

Last night after the sun went down we had a fire in our fire pit.  This amazing pit was built by my wife and our two boys last year. It was late in the season though and although Rob used it a number of times with friends, there never seemed to be time for all of us to gather there.  But time is more available these days in the time of Covid.  Living in a state with the 3rd highest rate of infection has meant lots of time doing things as a family unit.

That is an upside to all of this.  I have had times to cook with my Rob.  Chef by vocation, he and i have worked in the kitchen together.  He has helped plan menus for family meals, and has been here for game nights and fire pits. Up till Rob was probably 17 or so, he did virtually everything that I did with the younger kids.  His choice,not a requirement.  He came on every camping trip. He went with us to the park and would play soccer with the youngers and I , there were hikes and bike rides. He came food shopping and sat with me at dance classes.  Not that he did not also have things he did without his siblings and without me.  He was part of youth group, mission trips, homeschool classes , a week away at summer camp, and had a wide circle of friends that led to a variety of experiences.  But as wide as his experiences were, he wanted and needed a close touchstone of family.  I was always more than fine with it.  And as I suspected, when he went to college the ties loosened naturally.  There were friends and experiences engendered through college life.  He began working and had more relationships and experiences through that as well.  He began to be around less and less.

Pre-pandemic I saw him at night when he came home from work--usually around 12:30 a.m.  He was sleeping when I left for work in the morning.  We always talked briefly when he came in and if he was going back out with friends he always let me know.  I am a light enough sleeper that his tread on the stairs always has woken me enough to chat and see how his shift was, what his plans were.

Now we have time for lots more talking.  Last night we were the last two at the fire pit.  There were marshmallows and laughter for several hours and then one by one the others all began to drift away, looking for showers and bed.  He and I sat out with the dogs watching the bats flit across the sky, seeing the stars gleaming, talking but also enjoying periods of pause. 

I'm thinking that this is a great gift. When eventually the world resumes something resembling normalcy, I know I'll see him much less. I know that he hopes to be living somewhere else in a few years.  Though fledging may look differently post-covid I know that there will be a time when he makes his own home somewhere else.  The virus has taken much.  KC's first recital in the lead role at the dance school.  Elisabeth's Girl Scout encampment. My Sunday mornings in community with my church. . . but there have been unexpected gifts as well.  This is a big one.