Gay marriage is now possible in the state of Maine. I don't live in Maine but we do spend a lot of time there. My mom lives in Maine and though we are "from away" as Mainers say of folks who were not born and bred there, the state has a lot of appeal to my wife and I. It is one of those places where it is possible to find mountains to scale, as well as beautiful beaches. This combines both our passions and my wife has for many years dreamed of the two of us retiring to this lovely state. Though I personally would prefer a warmer clime, I could hack a retirement in Maine. I wouldn't have to sally forth at the crack of dawn to a job and therefore the colder times of winter would be less daunting to me. And I do love to snowshoe, and I love woodstoves. The idea of a log cabin where I had a woodstove to read beside again, sounds quite blissful. A place where I could be as off grid as possible is the ideal. And of course all of this is after I complete my personal retirement dream of hiking the Appalachian Trail from end to end. That is for the first 4 months of my retirement in case y'all are interested. Starts in Springer Mtn GA and ends in Maine on Mt Kathadin. Kirsty has serious foot and ankle problems and can't likely hike the whole thing but may do parts. At this point it is a far from solitary prospect as the kids all want to do it with me! She can meet us at way stations and resupply us and in her spare time, look for our retirement real estate!
But one of the things that has put Kirsty off on really hoping for her Maine retirement has been the fact that if we stay where we are, or go to one of several other states, we are legally married. This is not a status that we want to give up. I don't have to worry any longer about being able to make sure that her wishes are followed in the event of catastrophic illness. I like the fact that she is on my health insurance. I always had the family plan anyway to cover the kids, but she had to work and have "single person" coverage until 2004. I enjoy being able to say that she is my wife and to publicly honor the commitment that we have shared since 1978. Through hell or high water we have been together, been true to one another and honored the vows that we made personally that May.
My mom was sure that the bill would not pass. She is not really the family optimist. I am. I think that some day our marriage will not be unusual and will not be a subject of debate. Gradually I think people are seeing that our relationship and our committment does not threaten heterosexual marriages. And some day, it may not matter where we want to live at all. We will be viewed by society as married anywhere.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Broken Vessels
This has been a sucky week at work. Lots of weird computer issues that serve to graphically indicate that not only am I not uber techno in my abilities, but neither are many MANY people. Including the people who want the data that we are sending. Sigh. At least I communicate when I don't get something. Others don't. Sigh again.
But I digress. Other than serving to probably contribute to early blindness, all the hours spent on the computer are fairly moot. Sort of job security. The other sucky part has been with regard to tenants.
This week I had to evict a mother and child. I hate that. The child is adorable (as all kids are IMHO) and helpless. Mom is likely a substance user who finances her addictions with her body. The issues began to impact other residents and unfortunately as a a landlord, despite numerous efforts, there was no choice left to us. But I know that last night there was a child with no home, and a child with a very unstable situation with regard to the parent.
Yesterday morning I got a call a bit before 9 about a former tenant. She was on the property and was attempting to break into one of the units. The unit in question is rented by someone who was in relationship with her. Former tenant is known to police, who warned me after they asked that I come down that "if things went bad she was known to be extremely physical." I am guessing this was police code for after I served the paper of no trespass to step back. I wasn't particularly worried for my safety. There were two cops and I have 12 years of martial arts training. Former tenant was many sheets to the wind despite the early hour of the day and my guess is I would not have had trouble keeping myself safe. She didn't try to assault me and I kept the conversation firm but kind of compassionate sounding. She was taken into custody to sleep off the booze and hopefully will not return. Again, this was someone who when they lived here seemed to be fulfilling a promise of making a better life. So not. Is definately in a worse place than she was when she first came here years ago. And she is now a mother who does not have custody of her children.
I blogged discreetly months ago about a court case which involved trying to help someone regain custody of her children. Despite all the evidence seeming to indicate that she had really pulled her life together, the ruling ultimately went against my tenant. I had not seen her since that court appearance and saw her for the first time yesterday. The devastation is easy to read on her face. She is clearly holding on by literally fingernails and I worry for her emotional well being. It is clear that she is very depressed and I don't know who to call or even if I am crossing boundaries if I did call someone. There are other issues there that are not bloggable and in fairness to the courts it may be that it took too long for her to become stable for it to be reasonable to reunite the family. I do understand and support (obviously ) the ties that the children and the foster adoptive families made over a considerable period of time. It is possible that the decision was in the child's best interest. It sure wasn't in my tenant's best interest.
Probably the only item of interest is that in all of these situations do not involve people of color. I find that intriguing. It is not because of a lack of diversity in our community. In fact there are more people of color here than anglo. I'm not really going anywhere specific with this. It is just sad situations and collectively they make me sad too.
But I digress. Other than serving to probably contribute to early blindness, all the hours spent on the computer are fairly moot. Sort of job security. The other sucky part has been with regard to tenants.
This week I had to evict a mother and child. I hate that. The child is adorable (as all kids are IMHO) and helpless. Mom is likely a substance user who finances her addictions with her body. The issues began to impact other residents and unfortunately as a a landlord, despite numerous efforts, there was no choice left to us. But I know that last night there was a child with no home, and a child with a very unstable situation with regard to the parent.
Yesterday morning I got a call a bit before 9 about a former tenant. She was on the property and was attempting to break into one of the units. The unit in question is rented by someone who was in relationship with her. Former tenant is known to police, who warned me after they asked that I come down that "if things went bad she was known to be extremely physical." I am guessing this was police code for after I served the paper of no trespass to step back. I wasn't particularly worried for my safety. There were two cops and I have 12 years of martial arts training. Former tenant was many sheets to the wind despite the early hour of the day and my guess is I would not have had trouble keeping myself safe. She didn't try to assault me and I kept the conversation firm but kind of compassionate sounding. She was taken into custody to sleep off the booze and hopefully will not return. Again, this was someone who when they lived here seemed to be fulfilling a promise of making a better life. So not. Is definately in a worse place than she was when she first came here years ago. And she is now a mother who does not have custody of her children.
I blogged discreetly months ago about a court case which involved trying to help someone regain custody of her children. Despite all the evidence seeming to indicate that she had really pulled her life together, the ruling ultimately went against my tenant. I had not seen her since that court appearance and saw her for the first time yesterday. The devastation is easy to read on her face. She is clearly holding on by literally fingernails and I worry for her emotional well being. It is clear that she is very depressed and I don't know who to call or even if I am crossing boundaries if I did call someone. There are other issues there that are not bloggable and in fairness to the courts it may be that it took too long for her to become stable for it to be reasonable to reunite the family. I do understand and support (obviously ) the ties that the children and the foster adoptive families made over a considerable period of time. It is possible that the decision was in the child's best interest. It sure wasn't in my tenant's best interest.
Probably the only item of interest is that in all of these situations do not involve people of color. I find that intriguing. It is not because of a lack of diversity in our community. In fact there are more people of color here than anglo. I'm not really going anywhere specific with this. It is just sad situations and collectively they make me sad too.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Of Helicopters and Helping
"Helicopter parents" seem to be the buzz word in our area lately. They are meant to conjure up a group of anxious moms or dads zooming around their kiddos making sure they don't fail. No one wants to be a helicopter parent. No one wants to be accused of failing to let their children learn from the much vaunted natural consequences.
Well, maybe except me. Not that I am a helicopter parent. I really don't perceive that I am. But different kids have different needs and different abilities to learn from and with experiences. KC seems more able to connect the dots and see cause and effect than either Chet or Rob. With Chet's autism, behaviors and appropriate responses are more rote and memorized. He doesn't have social acumen. His abilities to develop are seriously limited and if I intentionally allowed him to put himself in the negative situations, the consequences would likely be that he would not be allowed to participate in areas that have meaning and joy in his life. It is hard to have those venues for him and I am not willing to jeopardize those experiences as I know he feels isolated enough by his differences. And yes, I honestly tried natural consequences. He was banned from the local library for starters. For an avid reader, it was heartbreaking. I understand the reason; but his ability to learn from it was just not there. His take is they don't understand him and they are mean and someone should "wake them up."
Rob's lack of abilities to learn from consequences I think stem in part from his early years in foster care. A plethora of traumatic experiences led him to feel that bad things would just continue to happen to him. I don't think that he believes that so much now. But when faced with a more challenging situation his first inclination is to do a half baked effort. I think it is so that he can say to himself that "he could have done better if he had wanted to try harder." Initially I let him do the half baked jobs, figuring that he would want to improve. Didn't work. I stepped back for a loooooong time and it just didn't work.
So I changed my perspective. I decided it is my job to coach a bit and make him want to try harder . Rob's in a coming of age program and our church. There have been a variety of activities to help the kids explore their values, clarify their spirituality etc. They have had a lot of group building stuff and some fun activities, but also some big ideas to think about.
I have also learned that thinking abstractly doesn't come easily to Rob. Not that he can't--unlike Chet, for instance. But it is just hard. And when left in the hard place he falls into his familiar pattern. First he freezes, can't see a solution, then he goes for half baked. So for instance, when the kids had a mask making activity this fall, he and I did some brain storming. We went to a craft store together (well all the kids and I, which made for enough breaks in the conversation that there was no way Rob could get stressed!) By the end of the trip not only did I have the beginnings of Excedrin Headache #99 but he had managed to decide what things were inside himself that others didn't see from his outer self and find tools to show them on his mask.
Ironically Kirsty thought I was helping too much, but because I am pigheaded (LOL) and because I truly had a gut feeling that I was getting this right, I used the same tactic for each of the other activities that had abstract thinking stuff involved. I haven't seen the results but I have had other adults tell me how well Rob was able to articulate his visions, how focussed he was and best of all, how proud he was of his efforts. I noticed that he was glowing when I would catch up with him at fellowship after service. It was neat.
Also of interest to me was the fact that 2 or 3 of the parents in the class have cornered me and essentially expressed their regret that they hadn't offered more help on occasion to their kids. I said it wasn't really help; we just brainstormed together and I gave him access to craft supplies that could help articulate his visions. He doesn't really like to draw and why limit himself to drawing when he doesn't feel good about it? One mom told me how much her son hates his finished mask and how she wished she had done more to help him slow down. It wasn't that his ideas were bad. But he didn't plan them out and what he tried to do essentially wrecked the mask. When you are the only one with a wrecked mask, it hurts. Her son doesn't have issues of trauma and adoption, but he does have LD issues. My guess is he has enough instances when things feel wrecked. There also have to be enough times in our kids childhoods that they feel good about what they do, what they create and what they share of themselves.
The most recent project was a thank you gift from each child to their mentor. They had to paint and decorate a flower pot with things that are symbolic of their time together. There was a parent meeting from 6:30 to 8 on a week night to discuss the upcoming finale of the year's experience. The suggestion was to bring your child and have them make their pot while you were at the meeting. I know that by 6:30 p.m. the meds that help Rob focus are so not present. He is a fidgety little bug in the evening, unable to concentrate, unable to link thoughts all that effectively. I knew whatever he created would not be representative of how much he has really enjoyed his mentor. I emailed the coordinater and said he couldn't be there and why and he did the pot at home. 5 other kids did the project at home also, so he wasn't alone in this. But 2 of the kids who did it that night had a tough time concentrating and complained to their parents that it just didn't come out the way they wanted it to.
Bottom line, I think I'll keep on keeping on--coaching as unobstrusively as I can to help Rob learn that he has boundless potential and the courage to explore it.
Well, maybe except me. Not that I am a helicopter parent. I really don't perceive that I am. But different kids have different needs and different abilities to learn from and with experiences. KC seems more able to connect the dots and see cause and effect than either Chet or Rob. With Chet's autism, behaviors and appropriate responses are more rote and memorized. He doesn't have social acumen. His abilities to develop are seriously limited and if I intentionally allowed him to put himself in the negative situations, the consequences would likely be that he would not be allowed to participate in areas that have meaning and joy in his life. It is hard to have those venues for him and I am not willing to jeopardize those experiences as I know he feels isolated enough by his differences. And yes, I honestly tried natural consequences. He was banned from the local library for starters. For an avid reader, it was heartbreaking. I understand the reason; but his ability to learn from it was just not there. His take is they don't understand him and they are mean and someone should "wake them up."
Rob's lack of abilities to learn from consequences I think stem in part from his early years in foster care. A plethora of traumatic experiences led him to feel that bad things would just continue to happen to him. I don't think that he believes that so much now. But when faced with a more challenging situation his first inclination is to do a half baked effort. I think it is so that he can say to himself that "he could have done better if he had wanted to try harder." Initially I let him do the half baked jobs, figuring that he would want to improve. Didn't work. I stepped back for a loooooong time and it just didn't work.
So I changed my perspective. I decided it is my job to coach a bit and make him want to try harder . Rob's in a coming of age program and our church. There have been a variety of activities to help the kids explore their values, clarify their spirituality etc. They have had a lot of group building stuff and some fun activities, but also some big ideas to think about.
I have also learned that thinking abstractly doesn't come easily to Rob. Not that he can't--unlike Chet, for instance. But it is just hard. And when left in the hard place he falls into his familiar pattern. First he freezes, can't see a solution, then he goes for half baked. So for instance, when the kids had a mask making activity this fall, he and I did some brain storming. We went to a craft store together (well all the kids and I, which made for enough breaks in the conversation that there was no way Rob could get stressed!) By the end of the trip not only did I have the beginnings of Excedrin Headache #99 but he had managed to decide what things were inside himself that others didn't see from his outer self and find tools to show them on his mask.
Ironically Kirsty thought I was helping too much, but because I am pigheaded (LOL) and because I truly had a gut feeling that I was getting this right, I used the same tactic for each of the other activities that had abstract thinking stuff involved. I haven't seen the results but I have had other adults tell me how well Rob was able to articulate his visions, how focussed he was and best of all, how proud he was of his efforts. I noticed that he was glowing when I would catch up with him at fellowship after service. It was neat.
Also of interest to me was the fact that 2 or 3 of the parents in the class have cornered me and essentially expressed their regret that they hadn't offered more help on occasion to their kids. I said it wasn't really help; we just brainstormed together and I gave him access to craft supplies that could help articulate his visions. He doesn't really like to draw and why limit himself to drawing when he doesn't feel good about it? One mom told me how much her son hates his finished mask and how she wished she had done more to help him slow down. It wasn't that his ideas were bad. But he didn't plan them out and what he tried to do essentially wrecked the mask. When you are the only one with a wrecked mask, it hurts. Her son doesn't have issues of trauma and adoption, but he does have LD issues. My guess is he has enough instances when things feel wrecked. There also have to be enough times in our kids childhoods that they feel good about what they do, what they create and what they share of themselves.
The most recent project was a thank you gift from each child to their mentor. They had to paint and decorate a flower pot with things that are symbolic of their time together. There was a parent meeting from 6:30 to 8 on a week night to discuss the upcoming finale of the year's experience. The suggestion was to bring your child and have them make their pot while you were at the meeting. I know that by 6:30 p.m. the meds that help Rob focus are so not present. He is a fidgety little bug in the evening, unable to concentrate, unable to link thoughts all that effectively. I knew whatever he created would not be representative of how much he has really enjoyed his mentor. I emailed the coordinater and said he couldn't be there and why and he did the pot at home. 5 other kids did the project at home also, so he wasn't alone in this. But 2 of the kids who did it that night had a tough time concentrating and complained to their parents that it just didn't come out the way they wanted it to.
Bottom line, I think I'll keep on keeping on--coaching as unobstrusively as I can to help Rob learn that he has boundless potential and the courage to explore it.
Monday, May 4, 2009
Planning Mothers Day
We have two celebration days in our house--Mothers Day which honors Kirsty and Ooma's Day for me. Otherwise neither of us could really relax and have the day be about us and the kids would be going 6 directions at once and getting stressed.
The kids and I have started planning Mothers Day. KC and I painted egg cartons on Sunday afternoon. They will become a vase of tulips. Really. I promise! I am not sure what to have Robbie work on and I better think quickly. He will be at a high ropes challenge for his coming of age program all Saturday so he won't have the day to work on things as he usually does. Typically he plants out a garden for her but this year, I might have him buy the plants with me on Friday and we can put them in our wagon with a big bow and an explanation of future planting. Chet has all ready made his card and I think Lissa will make a paperweight. The kids also want to get her some jewelry.
We also cook her a special breakfast. This year the tentative menu is fruit salad, orange marmalade buns, yogurt and tea. The cooking is all from scratch and Robbie's home school work for math on Wednesday will be to halve the recipe for me. It is supposed to make 7 pans of rolls and although they look divine even for our family that would be a LOT of rolls! LOL
We also are pressing some violets that are going to be glued onto either a placemat or a card--depends on where their creativity takes them. I love that they get excited about doing things for her, and I love that we have a time to do that and a way to show her how important she is to all of us.
The kids and I have started planning Mothers Day. KC and I painted egg cartons on Sunday afternoon. They will become a vase of tulips. Really. I promise! I am not sure what to have Robbie work on and I better think quickly. He will be at a high ropes challenge for his coming of age program all Saturday so he won't have the day to work on things as he usually does. Typically he plants out a garden for her but this year, I might have him buy the plants with me on Friday and we can put them in our wagon with a big bow and an explanation of future planting. Chet has all ready made his card and I think Lissa will make a paperweight. The kids also want to get her some jewelry.
We also cook her a special breakfast. This year the tentative menu is fruit salad, orange marmalade buns, yogurt and tea. The cooking is all from scratch and Robbie's home school work for math on Wednesday will be to halve the recipe for me. It is supposed to make 7 pans of rolls and although they look divine even for our family that would be a LOT of rolls! LOL
We also are pressing some violets that are going to be glued onto either a placemat or a card--depends on where their creativity takes them. I love that they get excited about doing things for her, and I love that we have a time to do that and a way to show her how important she is to all of us.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Star Struck!
When we were at the craft store the other day to get supplies for Robbie's project, Lissa spied some star beads. She wanted them for her hair and it seemed like a good idea to me too! Actually when we got it home, only 1/2 of the beads were large holed enough to use for hair. We gave the narrow holed ones to Chet to make jewelry with. She is very proud of this new do. However I have noticed that the beads tend to break the elastics that hold the bottom ones on. Another time I think I would need to use a pony bead at the bottom and put the shaped beads on top.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
And they're OFF!
OK I have my perennial problem figuring out how to load pictures. i would love to do it and be able to write near the picture. I would love to have them in the order on the blog that I think I am putting them on in, but alas. Technology and I have a very tenuous truce most of the time. Kirsty says I will probably master this when I learn how to turn on our television. She is most likely right. We had a blast today. The morning was very busy. We had to go to the post office to mail May baskets up to my mom, to the bank and then to a nearby town to a math and literacy fair. A friend of mine who is a teacher in a preschool program for disadvantaged youth was going to be there and invited us to come. There was so much to do and the kids had a blast. Well maybe not Rob, but he was good about it. They planted seeds, used home made playdough to make the shapes of letters, did some math games, listened to music, had a snack, made a musical instrument and entered a raffle for free! Truly, it was all good. I saw former residents of the apt complex that I work at and got to catch up with them a bit. From there we went and did our grocery shopping and went to the nearby Big Lots for some new curtains, welcome gifts for my niece's new baby boy and headphones for my eldest. Then we went to the craft store for supplies Robbie needed. He has to decorate a flower pot as a thank you gift to the fellow who has been his coming of age mentor at church this past year. The pot has to be decorated in such a way that it reflects something of their interests either separate or mutual, and what Rob got from the experience. Rob has a hard time translating thoughts like that into a symbol so it took a bit of time but we eventually came away with some good things to work with. From there it was the weekly trek to the library and then home. We have a good system for unloading the car, letting out the dog, and putting groceries away while I get lunch started. Lunch tends to be pretty big as they have been out all morning. (today it was egg and cheese lavash rollups with baby carrots, and cupcakes for dessert.) OK that is not gigantic but it is a hot, cooked meal which is what I think I was trying to say.
While Lissa napped the two middle boys helped me decorate the hats. We purchased the bodies of the hats at the craft store while we were searching for Robbie's things. Also some artificial flowers to make them true "Derby" hats. We never had time to make lemonade pie though. Had to settle for making lemonade and ordering pizza. I tend to pack a lot into a day but to somehow think that the 24 hours in the day are all free to me to use! Um, reality check, not so!!
Kirsty got home in time for the race. No one we chose won but it was a fun race to watch. And better yet, no horse was injured as in 2 previous years there have been sad and soboring racing injuries.
When you look at the hat pictures, what cracks me up is that Robbie was initially very pre-teen 'blase' about the whole thing. But once he had the shell of his hat, he went to town decorating it. Kirsty was at work so I made her hat for her. You can see Lissa and Chet in the next shot. Chet appropriately has a pink kitty hat. He adores the color pink and this was zany enough for him to buy into a family fun time. KC and I are in a shot together. You can see how over the top excited the whole day had gotten him.
So that was Derby day in our little corner of the world. Far away from Churchill Downs but very enjoyable none the less.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Derby Day is nearly here!
Anyone who has subjected themselves to my blog for any period of time knows that I am all about celebrating. I have never needed those funky calendars that give you the dates of festivals from other cultures and countries. I can pretty much fill all the dates on my own! LOL
Saturday is the running of the Kentucky Derby, the first horse race of the famous Triple Crown. I am not a gambler. None of my fascination with the Derby has anything to do with handicapping the race. It is all about the horses. I have loved horses every since I can remember. I loved riding; there are pictures of me riding the first time when I was only 2 1/2 or something. They had to hold me on the horse but the family story is that I totally refused the pony and would only sit on the big white horse. If it wasn't for the fact that my mom has a nearly preternatural terror of horses, I would think she was an indulgent parent who made up the story. I tend to believe it though, because she spent most of her time trying to convince me not to ride.
Thankfully, I was blessed with indulgent grandparents who paid for lessons. And with a horse farm within a hefty bike ride of the cottage where we lived each summer. I would bike up to there and sit on the fence watching. Just watching. And at days end, any unexercised horse could be ridden by yours truly. For free. It was bliss.
I lived breathed, drew and dreamed horses. I decided that I was going to be the first female jockey and that not only that, I would win the Kentucky Derby. (See if you bear with me long enough there tends to be a point most times) It might have worked, except that I suddenly around age 10 or 11 shot up and became tall. Ever look at jockeys? They are wee things. And sparrows weigh more than most jockeys.
Suddenly I was no longer just under 5 ft. I was 5 ft 6 and my dream was dead. Kaput. Gonzo. Mom probably did the dance of joy. I was petty enough to point out that it pretty much guaranteed I was not going to be a prima ballerina for a big ballet company. (I come from a family of dancers and this was the dream my mother and aunt cherished for me). Ballerinas tend to be wee sparrows too! I told them I could still breed horses, maybe train horses, work in stables. . . but the truth was, I really REALLY wanted to be a jockey and that was now a fading possibility.
But despite watching my dream fade, I never lost my love of watching the Triple Crown races. A joy that thankfully my children share with me. I am not sure whether it is the contagious enthusiasm of their Ooma screaming and shrieking when the race is on, or my re-telling the stories of the Triple Crown winners I have seen, but we all love it. We even (gasp) eat in the living room on Derby night. Trust me, I don't do eating in the living room as a general rule. And almost never in front of the TV. But Derby night is different. I don't know what we will eat while we pretend we are sitting at the posh race. I am thinking raspberry iced tea and lemonade with mint sprigs. Or I was thinking that till I heard about lemonade pie which sounds pretty darn neat too! When we do errands tomorrow i am going to see if I can find some silly hats at the second hand store and we can decorate them and look like those posh southern belles. . . I am not sure what the boys will decorate theirs with but no doubt their unique creativity could turn it into something hysterical. Whatever we do, it will be fun.
Saturday is the running of the Kentucky Derby, the first horse race of the famous Triple Crown. I am not a gambler. None of my fascination with the Derby has anything to do with handicapping the race. It is all about the horses. I have loved horses every since I can remember. I loved riding; there are pictures of me riding the first time when I was only 2 1/2 or something. They had to hold me on the horse but the family story is that I totally refused the pony and would only sit on the big white horse. If it wasn't for the fact that my mom has a nearly preternatural terror of horses, I would think she was an indulgent parent who made up the story. I tend to believe it though, because she spent most of her time trying to convince me not to ride.
Thankfully, I was blessed with indulgent grandparents who paid for lessons. And with a horse farm within a hefty bike ride of the cottage where we lived each summer. I would bike up to there and sit on the fence watching. Just watching. And at days end, any unexercised horse could be ridden by yours truly. For free. It was bliss.
I lived breathed, drew and dreamed horses. I decided that I was going to be the first female jockey and that not only that, I would win the Kentucky Derby. (See if you bear with me long enough there tends to be a point most times) It might have worked, except that I suddenly around age 10 or 11 shot up and became tall. Ever look at jockeys? They are wee things. And sparrows weigh more than most jockeys.
Suddenly I was no longer just under 5 ft. I was 5 ft 6 and my dream was dead. Kaput. Gonzo. Mom probably did the dance of joy. I was petty enough to point out that it pretty much guaranteed I was not going to be a prima ballerina for a big ballet company. (I come from a family of dancers and this was the dream my mother and aunt cherished for me). Ballerinas tend to be wee sparrows too! I told them I could still breed horses, maybe train horses, work in stables. . . but the truth was, I really REALLY wanted to be a jockey and that was now a fading possibility.
But despite watching my dream fade, I never lost my love of watching the Triple Crown races. A joy that thankfully my children share with me. I am not sure whether it is the contagious enthusiasm of their Ooma screaming and shrieking when the race is on, or my re-telling the stories of the Triple Crown winners I have seen, but we all love it. We even (gasp) eat in the living room on Derby night. Trust me, I don't do eating in the living room as a general rule. And almost never in front of the TV. But Derby night is different. I don't know what we will eat while we pretend we are sitting at the posh race. I am thinking raspberry iced tea and lemonade with mint sprigs. Or I was thinking that till I heard about lemonade pie which sounds pretty darn neat too! When we do errands tomorrow i am going to see if I can find some silly hats at the second hand store and we can decorate them and look like those posh southern belles. . . I am not sure what the boys will decorate theirs with but no doubt their unique creativity could turn it into something hysterical. Whatever we do, it will be fun.
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