Of Teeth and Eclipses

KC is my anxious guy.  And he is looking at some dental surgery tomorrow.  One of his adult teeth is growing sideways and if left unchecked it will apparently grow into his sinus cavity.  Frankly that is a revolting image to me.

The fact that my most anxiety prone child is looking at surgery is making life, well a bit more interesting than usual.  He typically ramps himself up in the late evening, just before bed.  I have yet to find a really good solution for helping him to find calm.

I have not minimized any of his concerns.  Ones that we could actually call and he could ask a question about to get answers we have done so.  (for instance "Can I accidently swallow the scalpel while I am asleep?!")

I have helped him with calming breathes.  I have helped him with visualizations.  I have gone over The Plan so that he has in his mind where I will be and such for the day.  (I can't go into the surgical room with him but can wait for him in recovery.)

We have sung. We have listened to quiet music. We have done art.We have done affirmations and visualizations.   Next up I am trying some aroma therapy and some pressure point massage that he can do to himself. At this point, I think I just so need this to be done as much as he does.  He is a bundle of nerves and the rawness of his fears is palpable to me.

At least this weekend was busy and full of fun and that helped take his mind off things a bit.  Saturday we went to our city's harvest festival. Which was a lot bigger than usual because our city is also celebrating their 100th birthday as a city.  The dance school performed and he danced in the street.  We looked at vendors, did some activities and then walked home.  Lissa had a birthday party to attend that afternoon so we dropped her off and then KC my wife and I went to a black smith festival in the next town. This is a laid back event that I used to take the kids to a lot when they were younger.  Think quiet folk music,way less vendors and interesting metal work all set along the banks of a river.  It was a fun place to spend a few hours and we also met up with our friend and the kids godmother who was vending there.  The night ended with a special fireworks display that our city had in honor of the birthday festivities.

Yesterday was the start of the new religious education year at church. The kids were chomping at the bit to do and to see their friends again.  We did go but we had to leave 15 minutes before the end of things in order to go home.  Lissa is a Brownie Scout and they were marching in our city's birthday parade yesterday.  I had to have her at the starting place at 12:15.  Our church is 30 minutes away from our home, so the logistics of getting home, getting her lunch and into her uniform and to the start were interesting.  Also, Fiona came down for the day so she could see the parade and hang out with us.

Lissa did so well marching.  She used to get scared and scowl in situations where she could see lots of people around her, but she was helping to hold the banner and smiling.  I took pictures like a crazy woman.  Lots of Liss but also lots of the parade itself which was enormous and very fun to watch.

By the time evening came the littles were exhausted so I did not keep them up to watch the eclipse.  My wife and i enjoyed it though.  I also loved the fact that so many people got out and watched it.  We are a society of screens.  Computer screens. Phone screens. TV screens. Tablet screens. But for a few hours last night we all looked skyward.  It was as if something primitive and deep within us called us all outside.  You could hear people talking softly on porches all around us.  This morning when I walked there were lots of houses where people had moved their lawn furniture to the sidewalks, obviously for better viewing.  The skies were clear. The view was amazing.  I kept wondering what early humans would have thought watching it. The next eclipse is in 17 years I think.  I was also wondering what my life will be like then.  My kids will be grown.  I will be retired most likely.  Where will I be in life and will I still be looking skyward in awe?

Will Fiona's dental work get done??

At Amazing Jane's farewell party a couple weeks ago, I thought back on how long we had known each other.  She came into our lives in 2010 when Fiona first was placed in the Great School in the Big City.  At her retirement party it was revealed that she worked over 15 years at the Great School.

That is pretty amazing for most jobs nowadays, even more so for this type of job which has a high burn out rate.  I can see the difference in the revolving staff at the group home where my daughter now lives.  She has been there just over 2 years.  I have dealt with untold staff, 4 directors, and  2 clinicians,   It is sadly a not atypical situation for a field where people deal with a great deal of stress and are woefully underpaid.  The result is that people like my daughter, who need consistancy and stability, are all too often in the midst of change.

That is happening right now.  In fact, there is no house director at the moment and my contact is a gentleman who is a regional director and oversees a number of the group homes.  This is far from ideal.  I know they are in the process of hiring someone.  Meanwhile, Fiona has yet to have her final wisdom tooth out.  It is a bottom one and it is bothering her.

However she was extremely agitated the day of the appointment and refused to go.  The next day she went to the appointment but the dentist told her if she wanted she could be knocked out for the procedure. She wanted that but the consents I had signed were not for that so she had to come home without the work done again. I am unclear as to why she was even asked this as my daughter is not legally competent to make these decisions.

I was sent the scans last night.  I am calling the drs office today to clarify. I am worried about the anesthesia as the dentist we saw initially said she could not have this due to her airway being very small. He said that she would be difficult to intubate should there be a medical crisis.  Secondly the consent is for both the upper and lower tooth.  Fiona only wants the bottom tooth out and this is all it was supposed to be. The upper has not moved and is not causing discomfort.  I worry that she will be in too much pain if both come out on the same side. She had bad experiences with the previous two extractions and the worst one was the upper.  Her roots effected her sinuses. She is in allergy season at the moment. I don't want to borrow more discomfort and emotional disregulation here!

Fiona struggles

Mental illness is the pits.  There is no easy solution, and it tends to rear its ugly intractable head when one is least expecting it.  Or perhaps least prepared for it.

Fiona has been in a bit of a downward spiral these past weeks.  I think that a big factor is the wisdom teeth extractions. They have been doing them one by one.  So one tooth out, a week to 10 days of healing and bam, another appointment for an extraction.  Pain and doctor visits are hard on anyone.  On someone with mental health issues and cognitive issues, it is worse.

The two extractions done thus far threw monkey wrenches into visits as she was not well enough to come home for obvious reasons.  Then last Friday Rob had his extractions and though Fiona was okay, he needed quiet, rest and attention.  Also I had just been diagnosed with  pneumonia which while not a primary issue definately figured into the decision not to have her come home.

I have tried to be in extra phone contact. To send little cards or itunes gift cards for her.  But I know that for Fi visits home are a key part to stability.  I could see her beginning to show signs of disregulation at her ISP meeting this month.  By this Monday she was hysterical on the phone with me.  She had a fabricated story of leaving the home via her bedroom window and walking down the road with no one noticing.  According to Fiona she then turned around and went back in her bedroom window.  For a variety of reasons, this was a fabrication, but she did later try to act this out via a bathroom window in the home.  The windows are all alarmed and she was stopped.  However she did not calm or settle till after 1 a.m. and the next morning she also refused to attend the dentist appointment for the next extraction.

I sure can't blame her, though I am worried as the tooth does bother her. However her mental health is more important than the tooth at this point and I have asked the staff to try and postpone this for a month or so to give her time to stabalize.

Meanwhile Fiona is blaming her decompensating the presence of another house mate. She and the other young lady have a love/hate relationship and right now it is more hate than love.  Fiona is also angry with me because I told her that I always love her and I am here for her but I won't help her blame other people for choices she is making for herself.  Her housemate did not push her out the window, she chose to do that. Fi was not amused! She definately believes that if I don't agree with her I am against her.  So I have to just keep ignoring that and I keep calling and checking in, keeping things light.

But I worry. I don't know if she will be able to get things back into some semblance of control or if she will wind up with an emergency hospitalization. Now, I am off to get some pineapple, which I have found works as well for me as most cough syrups!

Fiona's wisdom teeth.

Thursday  Fiona was supposed to have her wisdom teeth out.  I had arranged to meet her at the dentist. The dentist was in a city about 40 minutes from us.  I got an advance on sick time for the year at work and was waiting right on time.  Except that the staff at the group home slipped up and forgot the appointment.  I am baffled at how that happens. They had an appointment card. I had an appointment card. Our house has more people in it than the group home and we get everyone where they need to be when they need to be there.  And besides that, how do you forget something as important as a medical appointment.  The drs office told me that they had even called and left  a reminder message the day before.  When I mentioned that in my tirade discussion over the missed appointment I was told the home had no phone service for the past three days, and that Verizon was coming to fix it that day.  Which was either a signifcant health and safety concern for me or a prevarication.  I suspect the latter since I called them on their landline and all our discussions were on that line.

The error resulted in the surgery not happening and the dentist refusing to make another appointment.  My daughter has a consult with another dentist on the 14th. Hopefully the surgery will be scheduled promptly after that.

I went all the way up the food chain filing complaints regarding this.  I understand human error.  I did not get wicked upset when staff forgot that Fiona was going to the movies with us 2 weeks ago and we had to scramble around to get her to the cinema on time.  That is something I understand forgetting.  Medical things, no.  And it makes me wonder what else they have forgotten that I don't know about?

My email box has been full of communications regarding this matter since I filed my complaint and began my calling of powers that be. I am hopeful that this will show that I care. That I am vigilent and that for my daughter's sake, I am watching them with eagle eyes.

I also have toured a great potential day facility for Fiona to participate in.  When one of the group home higher ups called me to apologize again (!) I talked with her about this opportunity. She said she is taking my daughter this coming week to tour the facility. I said that I wanted to know what was being done about the mid day medication issue. The day facility does not medicate and I had communicated this to the group home after my tour. Fiona takes a mid day dose of a significant med so it is important to find out if this schedule can be adjusted. What a surprise (not!) to find out that the higher up had no idea that the program did not administer meds and that this would be something to resolve.I reiterated my desire for them to contact my daughter's psychiatrist and address the issue.

As much as this whole situation drives me batty, I wonder what happens for people who have guardians out of state or less involved.  I suspect it can't be good.

Spooky Celebrating draws near

This weekend is fully packed with an insane level of fun for the kids!  Today there is dance, then a friends birthday party, then decorating at the clubhouse where I work for the kids halloween party tomorrow. I was so lucky to get to use that space for this.

Tomorrow is church and the annual UNICEF carnival and then back to do the final prep for the party and then it's party hearty from 3 to 5ish. The house has been abustle with preparations. Cookie baking, treat bags to stuff, decorations to make, games to build etc.  The kids have all in some way contributed to the efforts.  I want them to have fun but they also need to understand what putting on a party is The plan, the process, the fun end result. . Someday I fully plan to sit back and know that they are capable of throwing one themselves. They are surprisingly close to that.

KC pretty much gets it.  He was in bed last night worrying that his friends would not have fun.  LOL  I assured him that no one could come and not have fun.  Games crafts food and costumes are a pretty winning combination. But what he would need to do as the host was to make sure that everyone felt welcome as both he and Lissa have a large guest list that draws from a variety of their friends.  So there are neighborhood kids, kids from the big city where we go to church, kids from Girl Scouts and dance class and friends we met at the playground years ago and became besties with.  We talked about how you make people welcome and he visibly relaxed.  He so intensely wants people to be happy and have fun that guy.  

Rob went out with his former girl friend this week.  He is taking his new friend who is a woman to lunch later this week. There is a reasonably priced restaurant with awesome food near the college they both attend. I asked him if it felt weird hanging out just as friends with T who had been his one and only for so long.  He laughed and said not really. I wonder if he was more in love with the idea of being in love?  At any rate, he is happy and he is widening the boundaries of his world and that is what I hoped for.

I contrast this joy with the recent media coverage of the Ebola disease.  I am saddened to see people rail against a doctor who worked to ease the suffering of others. Really?  He volunteered for Doctors without Borders and you think he intentionally rode the subway in NY to infect others?   I am heartbroken to read of children orphaned by the disease who are not taken in by family or the community out of desparate fears of contagion.  Reading last night about how hard it is to get water in this part of the world, it became more easy to understand how the improper hygiene is fueling the epidemic.  It is a cruel disease and a scary one.  What is most scary to me though is the fact that in the face of crisis, our humanity to others and our capacity to act from a place of love is diminished.

Meeting G

Last night G was supposed to arrive about 4ish.  She texted me that she was running late--still at the house where Fiona lives. Would it be all right to come between 5:30 and 6:00 p.m?  I said sure.  6:30 and still no G.  She finally rolled in about 7:30 p.m apologizing for being late. She was caught up in details at the home and time got away from her.  No worries, I finished popping KC into bed while she made a call to break a dinner plan and then we sat down with tea to talk.

She is a woman who is passionate about what she does, and I think very very wise.  I've had some concern's about Fiona's new home and not surprisingly, G does too.  The administration at the home have been unwilling to share much data with me because I do not have the hard copy of the guardianship award to show them.  I have emails from the legal staff but this was not enough for them. They have refused to share med schedules and their daily plans for Fiona. They have stalled on sharing her approved contacts list.  The list goes on.

I explained this to G and she I think must have set them straight today as suddenly my in box was FLOODED with communications from the staff.  Suddenly they are eager to set up a February meeting, they are still going to work on the risk management team meeting, they had papers for me to sign and med schedules to review.

G and I are both concerned by how dull Fiona's day seems when we look at what is going on there.  When we toured, Fi and I were told that she would have a structured day program outside of the home.  That has not happened. There may be a good reason,but substituting movies and puzzles is not a reasonable or healthy therepeutic option.

I am equally concerned by diet.  Fiona is pre-diabetic and diabetes runs in her family.  She has successfully controlled this with eating healthy choices.  The home seems unaware of how to offer healthy choices.  Lots of take out Chinese and pb and fluff sandwiches. . . "because the ladies like them."

G really wanted a feel for who Fiona is as a person. I showed her pictures and some of her art work and said how much I hope that we can find a way to foster that creative spirit within her.  It is something she loves and something she is good at.There almost isn't an art form that would interest her.

I know she wants a job and I shared that with G.  It seems that there should be some type of mentoring for a job at least explored.  There are things I am convinced she could do for a short period of time (2 to 3 hrs) daily.

Basically G gave me the go ahead to be the squeaky wheel.  She suggested that I find out who her Rogers monitor is, who her rep payee is (G is quite certain it should not be the agency that runs the home) and get a current list of upcoming doctor appointments.  Even if I can not attend all of them, attending a few here and there will help me stay very much in the loop and not hear things through the lens of how the home staff want me to view things.  She also very much understood what I was saying when I explained how the home wants to eliminate contact with staff from the Great School and why this was not a healthy model for Fiona. She agreed that it was a very old behavioral model and not one we need to follow. She and I both are in agreement that former staff have very much taken on the role of close friends and quasi family in Fiona's mind.  She has had enough ripped away from her. We need to show her that people do not disappear.

G could see the pictures of all the kids on our walls, all their art mounted around the house. It was clear that Fiona was central to our lives.  She will only be on the case for about 6 months and then it will transition to a person in a local office in my city.  But in these transition months I am going to learn all I can from her so that I can make sure Fiona gets the level of care she needs and the best possible life she can live.  G left my home at just before 10 p.m.  I have struck gold and found someone with the dedication and expertise of Jane to help down this next new bit of road I walk.

Thinking about health choices

I have been thinking a lot about Angelina Jolie's recent information regarding her preventative double mastectomy.  The response to her editorial regarding this has been surprising to me.  Here's what I expected:
"Wow. That was pretty extreme. I don't know if I would do that."  Here is what I heard:
"Now doctors will do more unnecessary surgeries and woman will be clamoring for them."

First of all, I know of a number of people who have had hysterectomies preventatively.  There were indications that there could be something significant awry and it was deemed safer for the woman's overall health, to simply remove the organs in question.  No one that I knew thought anything negative about their choice to do this.  Everyone thought it was better to remove immediately than "wait and see."

So why is Jolie's case so different?  I would suggest that it is because breasts define our womanhood in society.  They shout out to the world our femininity and one of our roles, that of nurturing children. To be sure, not all women conceive, not all women breast feed, but culturally it is still a part of who we are.

A dear friend of mine had  a post on Facebook recently that said something about migraine sufferers would not cut off their heads, why should women cut off their breasts.  I respect his right to post that; his wife is a breast cancer survivor.  And a bit of me agrees with his theory.  I am personally much more in the camp of healthy eating, healthy living, and a much more Eastern philosophy of mind/body health is my personal path.  Though as a chronic migraine sufferer, part of me wanted to tell him there are lots of times when I wanted to cut my head off! LOL

However, here is what is important.  What to do about a genetic predisposition to cancer should be each individual's choice.  I have another friend whose family has been devastated by breast cancer. It is clearly a genetic issue. Mom , cousin, and sister all with the same devastating cancer.  If there is a way to prevent that, and I  had watched three members of my family pass away from it, I think I would want to consider this more radical solution.

What is good about the Angelina Jolie issue is that a stunning, successful young woman has made a difficult choice and been willing to share her rationale with the world.  Her partner has also spoken out in a supportive and loving manner about  her decision.  That is a healthy role model for all of us.  

Cheese and Whine

Well, just whine really.  I have a sore face.  As in it feels like someone clocked the right side of my face.  I have been dealing with this for about 4 weeks and it is slowly getting worse.  I even abandoned my typical "wait and see" attitude and sought out the dentist a week ago. He saw nothing, but we also did not take an x-ray.  So today, as the pain reached new lovely heights, I went and had an x-ray, sure than my 10 year abstinence from the things would reveal an abcess or something vile lurking.  Only it didn't.  And he has no clue why I have this pain.  It hurt so much after I got home from taking the kids to the park tonight that I had to find an empty room and just lie there for a minute and breathe.  I don't have a lot of time in my life to lay around and breathe while simultaneously wishing 1/2 my face would fall off.

The dentist suggests I see my primary.  Which seems silly and a waste of $25.00 co-pay.  On the other hand, my primary might fall down with the shock of seeing me as a patient so it might be entertaining.  LOL  I strongly suspect that the primary will find nothing--about all that the dentist thought he might check for would be an ear infection.  Which I do not have and have not had anything congestion related in months.

Now that I have whined, I will share a funny KC and Lissa story.  Lissa wakens early in the morning.  She has been waking KC who really needs sleep  more than she does.  I told her she could not lie in bed and holler for her brother.  She agreed.  Instead they decided apparently that she would lie in bed and call "meoux meoux" and if KC was awake he would answer "woof woof."  Needless to say he is still being awakened too early but it was so funny that I couldn't do anything about it at all.

Fiona, meds and hospitalization

Last night Fiona called. Well, sort of.  She mostly just breathed and murmered. We talked.  Jane was worried.  I was worried. The week before we had a phone call and had been told that she was sick and that was why she was acting like this.  Jane's concern made it evident to me that this was not "illness" but something medication related.

Jane took the time to call me back after the family phone call.  (like I said, this woman is AMAZING) and said that Fiona has essentially become this way since her recent hospitalization. They removed a number of meds while in the hospital and Jane did not know if this was a medication detox or if it signified something else.  She said she could see that Fiona literally had trouble thinking and getting words out.  Fi is usually very chatty so this is really really unlike her. I think part of why Jane called also was to see if I had ever seen this type of behavior from her at any point in the past. The answer is categorically no. Jane said the hospital really snowed her saying on Fiona's return that she was just "sick" and that if she had any inkling that this was a result of what they were doing in the hospital she would have refused to have her come back until they got things right.

Next Thursday we are going to the Big City because it is Arts and Entertainment night at the school.  Fiona has been planning to sing a song that she says she is dedicating to us. As of last night, Jane felt there was no way she was able to perform and wondered if we would still be coming.  I said yes absolutely that this was likely a time when she would need us most. That I could explain to the kids that the drs were trying to find the right meds etc.  Jane was grateful and said that Fiona would see a Dr today and she would shoot me a quick email with an update because I was so worried.

Late this afternoon just before I left work I got an email from her.  They added back one of her meds and all ready could see a huge improvement.  Whew!

Jane and I also emailed a bit more regarding the situation of where Fiona may wind up when she leaves the Great School in the City.  Firstly the good news is she can stay there till she is 22.  She is only 19 now. So we have breathing room. But Jane wants to work with me and Fiona's DCF worker so that we are more clearly seen and listed as "family' to try and prevent the road blocks that I have experienced in the past maintaining visits and contact.  Also she will help me advocate for a DMR oversight as opposed to DMH.  In our state the care and options are better with the former agency and the placements tend to have for lack of a better word, more gentle clients.

Fiona is so emotionally and cognitively young.  She tries to reach for the adult behaviors but she at 19 still loves Hannah Montana for instance.  And sticker art.  Things that could easily bring about ridicule in a setting that was strictly a DMH.  It doesn't look at this point like there is a loophole to get her placed in the City where she presently is, or closer to us.  But if Jane can help me build a relationship with her case worker who knows?  I have a good period of time to become their new best friend!  LOL

Hear That?

Actually it should be "ear" that, as in KC has an inner ear infection.  Yesterday at breakfast he announced rather casually that his ear hurt.  K had just gently cleaned the outer part of his ear and she asked if it was somehow related to that.  Nope, he answered, still totally casual, it had been hurting since last night.  As my kids would say "Uh, what the?" 

The thing is, KC is my guy with a super sensitive nose and taste buds.  He loathes hates and despises the taste of every medication he has ever had in his life.  Until he made the acquaintance of the red tylenol meltaways he would rather have a fever or a blinding headache than take the med. and if they only have purple meltaways you are out of luck. He will lie there in agony instead of ingesting the stupid thing.  I have bribed.  I have pinned.  I have cajoled.  I have done the mean military momma (which I really rot at doing incidently). It only works when he decides it will work and it is.never.easy.  So it was no surprise that he was concealing the pain.  He would rather hope it goes away on its own.  And I suppose at some level, his avoidance of meds is reassuring to me.  His first mom did use substances (as did most of my kids first moms) and I worry that there will be a predisposition toward addictions. 

At any rate, we called our doctor, who was amazingly in.  Typically for  my family he is on vacation any time we need him.  LOL  He wanted to see KC as he feels it is not common to see ear infections in the summer.  I was fine with an office visit but I knew we were right as he had a cold a week or so ago and he also went swimming in a pool and likely got water in his ears then.  Sure enough, he has an ear infection and last night was the first dose of the 5 day liquid antibiotic.  1 down and 4 to go.  If you were at my house last night, you would know why I am counting!

Cell Phone Update

Well as I suspected, Rob could make my phone usable for the non-hearing impaired in jig time.  Unfortunately though I wasn't getting the TTY notice, I was still getting a "call failed" notice.  So I called the phone company customer service and an hour later, the phone again works.  I told Rob it was likely to me that this was a result of his cell phone experimentation and to please not do so in the future. If for instance, he was trying to text (likely) he needed to remember I have not had the phone enabled for this. (true!) It is an emergency phone and we would like to have it work in an emergency.

On the plus side, there was very little crazy lying involved in this episode.  He did of course initially deny touching it or having anything to do with it. (at which point I kicked myself for wording things in such a way that denial was possible even though implausible).  So I switched tacks and asked if it was likely his 3 y/o sister had done it. He grudgingly agreed not.  I did this with every member of the family. Still calmly and finally at the end, said "i guess that leaves you."  That time he agreed.  As I told K, a year ago he would have continued to deny, despite that.  His story would have had no basis in reality, there would have been tears, it would have been even more frustrating than this was. (though talking to four people who likely live in New Delhi didn't rank high on my list of 'fun.') 

So it was all good in the end. . . AND  Fiona called.  She was discharged from the hospital back to the Great School in the Big City.  This is good and also bad. Good because I think it is hugely important for her to see that connections are not always broken when she loses control of herself and of a situation. Bad because the medical community did not have a bed or treatment team available that could accurately assess and treat the needs of a cognitively challenged teen with as many meds and issues and Fiona has.  But she sounded good on the phone and I will hope that perhaps this is just a bump in the road and things will level a bit for her.

I heart my doctor

I have had the same doctor since I was in high school. We have an amicable relationship. He accepts that I am more likely to self treat with herbs and natural remedies than I am to ask him for an antibiotic. I have maybe one antibiotic course every year or two. I am allergic to many medicines so I began a path to a more natural, holistic approach many many years ago.

disclaimer: I am not a person who denies my children medical care. While I do all in my power through our life style to minimize the need for medical intervention I do not prevent it!

There, that will hopefully prevent trolls from getting all busy on me! :-)

I accept the fact that much of what is wrong with our medical system is nothing my doctor has any control over. He has very few minutes to devote to any patient in his practice. This is true of everyone I know so I see no value in changing physicians. What is good about him, is that he is willing to entertain the possibility that I am informed on various issues. I research, sometimes a tad obcessively. When Chet was about 14 I brought to him my research that was leading me to believe that Chet should have a dx of Aspergers Syndrome. He listened, looked at my research and notes and agreed. Now to be sure, he didn't go write that on Chet's chart. We were stuck with PDD NOS until a neuropysch eval confirmed my hypothesis, but I wasn't dismissed out of hand.

Likewise, I have always been upfront with the natural meds that i use and he is fine with that. Perhaps in the back of his overworked mind there is a bit of relief that I am not calling for every sniffle and asking for the latest and greatest med that was advertised on television the night before.

However the test of our relationship began about 6 months ago when he sent me a note saying to schedule a routine medical procedure that requires radiation. I don't do x-rays. My exception is in cases of severe unexplained pain, such as when Elisabeth broke her hip last winter. Other than that, I believe that exposing our bodies to radiation to stay healthy is something of an oxymoron. Lest you all think the bats have flown from my belfry a number of credible medical journals support this concept. LOL

So I pitched the note. And the second note. Sigh. And the third. Finally last week came a reminder letter for the same test with a handwritten note at the bottom. Please "help him out" and schedule said test or write a letter explaining what was up.

I agonized over the letter. I didn't want to offend my doctor. But there was no way I was having the test. I wrote the letter, including a few links to research that informed my decision. I made two friends read it to see if it sounded acceptable. Then I mailed it, fingers crossed that I somehow wasn't crossing some line that would make my hitherto nice doctor throw me and my family out of his practice. When I got home last night, there was a letter from him.

I opened it with more than a little trepidation. He said he could certainly understand and respect my decision and that now at least he had information to pass on to the insurance company! Wahoo! Life is good. I don't know whether his insurer was concerned (like in a malpractice way) or my insurer wanted it. I suspect the former more than the latter, but I am just glad that it all turned out so positively.