Last Weekend before the college drop off!

 

It was a busy weekend.  The days and hours are fleeing quickly until that guy on the right gets dropped at college on Thursday.  I'm smiling but I am sort of a wreck.  So excited for him, so knowing how very very much I'll be missing him.  I'll miss calling out to him, hey look at the sunset.  I'll miss him calling out to me to come see the moon. But he needs this.

Sunday we drove two hours west of our city so that he and Elisabeth could take a hip hop class at Jacob's Pillow.  This is a cool experience because the participants are studying with instructors from companies that are touring.  This was a class led by Compangnie Kafig and it was extremely cool.  Both of my kids liked it (and rocked it!) The class was supposed to be an hour but ran 90 minutes.  This is them afterwards with the two instructors.  A fun side note, this pic is from Elisabeth's phone. She initiated them taking the picture!  A sure sign that she also enjoyed herself.

I did not get to see much of the class as this one was held in one of the Pillow's indoor spaces. The last time we went they were on an outdoor stage and I could observe the whole class.  I did get to peek in at the end though and it was so cool to watch.  KC is so fluid and just lights up when he dances, and Elisabeth was having a great time as well. 

I also have been overwhelmed with the kindness shown to KC as he readies himself.  A customer where he works gave him a brand new dorm fridge.  As in, still in the box!  A co worker gave him a brand new microwave. It is clear he is loved by many.  I have always said there can never be too many people loving your kids.  In today's turbulent times that is ever more true.  May he meet many more of those people in this next chapter of his life.

Count down to college

 

It is exactly a month tomorrow.  30 days until we drive this handsome man to his college, help load up his room, participate in the parent orientation. . .  and drive away.  This is HARD folks!  The gap year has flown by.  I am thrilled that he has been accepted at a learning institution where he can follow his duel passions of dance and film.  He lights up a stage.  He has such passion for what he does.

But the hole in our home life will be immense. He is the guy who always asks how my day was.  Who hugs me every night.  Who checks in often in so many random little ways.  The house will be cleaner.  The shoe rack will be tidy.  There won't be dishes (or not so many!) in weird places. But I won't hear show tunes belted from the bathroom, or come upon him counting out choreography in the dining room. Or having him run in and tell me to come look at the moonrise or a special sunset.

It feels like not at all long ago that he was always cuddled up with me, reading stories or singing.  Watching Kipper on TV. Taking nightly walks to the park. He has of all my kids, been slowest to step out on his own but now, he is ready.

This is all what should happen.  He is ready to fly and I want him to soar. But I suspect I will also spend this last month spontaneously crying at odd random times. Send kleenex.

More College Ramblings

 Yesterday we toured KC's top  choice school in Western Mass.  It is a very different college from what I am used to with two living buildings on campus, which is highly unusual.  What is a living building ?  Click the link for a more concise explanation than I could give!  Obviously there is a strong environmental focus at the college, but there is equally a passionate social justice program and a thriving arts program which seems a wonderful fit for KC.  The college is part of a 5 college consortium and he would be able to take classes at all colleges without extra tuition.  Dorm rooms are singles and that too is something that will help make his transition easier I think.  He is a guy who needs his space. He also needs sleep and if he was paired with someone who had different needs/schedules he would struggle.

He has all ready been accepted and offered a really great 4 year scholarship from the college.  But after we toured we were told he is being considered for a greater award which we won't know about till probably early April.  He still wants to tour the third choice college in 2 weeks but I am pretty sure he will accept this school's offer and be very happy there. His friend goes there and was able to meet up with us and join us on the tour and talked afterward about what his experience has been like this first year.  Those were helpful insights.

Endings and Beginnings

 It's been busy here.  A bit of reno but most of the busy has been my mom and my youngest son KC.  It's a story of endings and beginnings.  Mom is 90 and has lived two states away from us for more than 25 years.  Til recently it has not been a problem.  But as she ages it has become more of a concern to me. She lives on a second floor and has to also go to the basement down some very sketchy steps to do laundry.  If she needs help she is 2.5 hours from us. During Covid lock down we could not travel to her.  I began to realize that this was a situation that should change.  She did too, but it is hard for her.  

She has lived in this apartment for 20 or so years.  It holds memories and lots  of stuff.  Not in a hoarding way, but more than she needs and can realistically care for. It is a two bedroom so she has a room that is just a study with two desks and file cabinets.  Again, more than she needs but that is hard to say to someone.

About 8 months ago she did agree to apply at the high rise where I work.  Her name came up more quickly than anticipated and it looks like she will move in this month.  The process has produced some excitement for her---the idea of being close to the grandkids and my wife and I,the prospect of attending church with me have been happy thoughts for her.  The idea of an elevator so she does not have to do stairs has been a plus.  But there are also things that produce anxiety.  The very act of moving and realizing that all she owns will.not.fit.  She will be moving to a lovely one bedroom apartment.  There is a great view of a pond and she is close to two city parks and will be able to enjoy nature which is great.  But again, a one bedroom unit.  To try and alleviate the stress I have rented a storage unit.  We will store things she is unsure about and/or which don't fit in the new apartment there.  She can "audition" some of her furniture by doing this.  For instance the woman has two kitchen tables.  One she presently keeps in the front hall of the apartment building. She can't do that in the new place.  She can try one of them in the apartment and we will store the other one.  If she doesn't like the first one, we will swap them.  The one that ultimately is not chosen we can donate or put on marketplace.  It will be the same with the two desks, and other items that she feels unable to decide about.  This has helped calm her a bit.

She is realizing that she does not want to drive in a new city and is considering giving up her car.  At 90 I think that is a good thing.  She is close enough when she moved that I was planning on taking her shopping anyway.  She is grieving the loss of what she once had--the ability to walk at the oceans edge, gatherings with work and church friends ---many who have passed on now or who are less capable than she is.  It is good for her to move but also so hard.  It is a reminder that the wheel of life keeps turning and time on this plane is finite.  It is hard for me too, as she is obviously less capable these days and not the Mom or Nana of years past.

But this is also a season of beginnings.  KC has applied at three colleges.  His intent is to major in dance and minor in film.  He has been accepted all ready at two of the three.  His top choice school, which also offers an amazing financial award toward his tuition and his third choice school which offers a modest award toward tuition.  He has not heard from the second choice but interviews with them this week.  My gut is that he will go with the top choice school but he wants to tour all three and make his decision from that.  All the schools are in our state and within 90 minutes of our home.  He knows he does not want to be further than that from home as family is his touchstone in a very deep way.  February is not only a time of moving Mom to a new apartment but also filled with weekends of the college tours.  

I am so excited for him.  This is his dream and he is chasing it with vigor and purpose.  It is also hard.  Hard to imagine him not in the house every night.  Or here when I get home from work, asking how my day was.  Or dropping him off at dance.  He is so intensely woven into the fabric of family life, that this will be a big adjustment for us all here as well.  This is absolutely what every parent wants for their child, but oh I am still going to be crying into my pillow when he leaves.

Updating Old cabinets

 Months ago we installed new uppers in our kitchen.  We installed a set of custom lower cabinets in one area but there was a run of base cabinets that would have been too complicated to replace.  Made many years by vocational school students, the doors are thinner than normal.  They are essentially plywood.  But to remove them and put in a new base is more money and time than we wanted to devote to it.  So we mutually agreed to paint the lowers and put on new hardware to give them another lease on life.  

There used to be two very ugly faux drawer fronts underneath the sink.  They didn't fit properly and wobbled all around--in fairness all of my 5 kids pulled on them at one point or another when they were growing up.  But you can see the lovely orangey color and the dated hardware.  I had obviously removed the two faux drawers at this point--an embarrassingly easy thing to do that took about 3 minutes of time.  We also removed a piece of quarter round that was under the counter and discovered that there was a bit of a mess there.  Moisture had gotten behind the trim and mold was growing. There was a gap, caused in part by levelling the counter but also partly because there used to be a different counter and sink there in my childhood.  I did not want to put trim back there.  So I went to my source--Youtu*e  and sure enough someone had solved a similar problem with an old door.  

The solution was to put painters tape behind the gap and seal it thoroughly.  Then we used wood resin fill to fill the gap. The procedure was pretty easy.

Here it was after filling the gaps so that that top is flat.  We sanded it down with a mouse sander. My wife then took off all the old hardware and painted the drawers and lower cabinets.  Amazingly, for the first time ever, our new hardware lined up with the holes for the old hardware.  Truly a renovation miracle!  

Our plan was to replace the two faux drawers with one longer piece of wood.  I am a bit of  a wood hoarder.  Lumber is expensive and old wood is just so special.  One of the pieces i had saved from the bathroom gut job was a lovely pine board.  It was too thick for our purpose so a friend planed it to the correct thickness for us.  Today we painted and installed it.  The lowers look amazing!

The Youtu*er I watched called this process "puttin lipsick on a pig."  Well this pig looks pretty fine!  We used Heirloom Traditions paint for this.  I have used their paint in other applications in our home and find it to be exceptionally durable and very easy to apply.  This color is called London should anyone be interested in the color in their own home.

First project of 2023 finished!

Hello 2023

 Happy New Year!  It was a different New Years Eve this year.  They have changed a lot over the years.  There were the years the kids were too little to stay up (and be human the next day!) so we would pick countries around the world and make special food from that country , and learn facts about them and play trivia games and learn about them.  Then we would have sprinklers in the back yard or glow sticks and say Happy New Year according to the time it was the new year there.

Then the kids got old enough to stay up.  We had snacks and movie nights together and snuggled watching the ball drop.  One year KC timed us watching the Avenger movie so that when the "snap" happened it was midnight.

Now things have changed again, as is the way in life. Rob does not live at home.  KC went to a friends house for New Years Eve and to sleep over.  Elisabeth had two girl friends sleep over here.  Chet always prefers to stay in his room, not liking noise and hoopla so it was my wife and I rattling around the house.  I made tostones and coquito to snack on, but then by 10:30 I was cold so I snuggled in bed and watched the new year in from there on my phone.  What a party animal!! At midnight we were all texting each other watching fireworks on our phones (which I have to admit was extremely cool!)

This morning, kids are still sleeping but my wife is at work and I have been up for hours.  It is uncharicteristically mild here right now so I took a long walk to welcome the New Year and to talk to the goddess.

May 2023 be good to us all!  

Christmas 2022

 Wow!  And in that blink Christmas came and went.  December was a whirlwind--it always is with 2 birthdays in my family, one in our friend/family and a bevy of work challenges.Added to that were sicknesses--the kids and then me.  I inconveniently became ill on the 19th.  I got through that birthday party but woke sicker on the 20th.  I was out of commission that day and the following Monday.  It is super rare for me to call out of work so you know I was really feeling low.  I was well enough to go back to work Tuesday and do things like stocking shopping, food shopping etc, but I still don't feel well.  It's annoying.  I am a lousy patient.

Despite that, Christmas was wonderful.  Rob was here, and Fiona was in the Big City with other family as she was here on Thanksgiving. I texted her  a Merry Christmas and a Happy Birthday.  I made our traditional home made cinnamon rolls for breakfast and despite usually wanting to sleep late, KC had us all up by 7 a.m. Gifts were thoughtful and appreciated.  Laughter was plentiful.  

I found myself melancholy last night as I realize that there may not be many more years when we are all together like this on Christmas morning.  Rob has been in a relationship for over a year now and though we have extended a welcome to bring his girlfriend and her son anytime, they have not done so.  He comes on his own but never with her.  At some point if the relationship continues, I am sure they will want their own traditions and the timing of ours will have to adjust.  KC is looking at colleges and next year he may  not be home.  I'm sure he will come home on break but he won't be part of decorating the house,,making chocolate houses,  and driving around looking at lights and all they myriad traditions that have evolved over the years and make up our Decembers.

I want this for them.  I want them to fly and soar and test their wings.  I want them to do this when they can still come home to roost when wind buffets young wings too badly, so I can give them hot cookies and fresh made rolls and a hug. I hope to see them imparting some of our traditions--with their own spins--to a new generation.

But I would be lying if I said that I am not missing putting out the magic key for Santa, reading carefully lettered lists, reading bedtime stories under the Christmas tree . . .  And I am realizing that at this point in my life there are fewer Christmas mornings ahead of me than there are behind me.