I read often about adoption. It is my duty to do so. To be vigilant and to remember that my joy--the children I love beyond measure--carry a pain that I can not heal. I believe that adoption is something that means I welcomed more than my children to my home and heart. I welcomed their first families, their extended families and they too should and did become people I love.
Some we see often. Some we text or communicate via social media. Some I am closer to than others. Most especially I have worked very hard to build ties of love and friendship with Mom J, my Rob and Fiona's natural mother. I have never known for sure how she felt about me. She always says how grateful she is for the life I have helped the kids to build. But I don't want gratitude and I don't know if those are words that she thinks she needs to say to me. I hope not. I have tried to show that she has much to give the kids and that relationships can be healed and recalibrated at any point in life.
And I think she took it to heart. Today Fiona was at J's for a day visit. The group home drive her to and from J's house which is a long way away from us. While I was doing piece work tonight J called me. She said Fiona was trying to get a hold of me and that the worker who was driving her was ill and they didn't know what to do. I called the group home and got ahold of assistance and when Fiona called me I explained to her what was going to happen and reassured her. She had for the most part remained very calm, although the reason that she had not been able to contact me is that she was trying to video chat me via Facebook and I was not on line.
I was able to get back in touch with J after all this had happened and reassure her as well. I am grateful that tonight we were able to enfold Fiona in a circle of love and safety as she handled a stressful situation. It is the very best of family building.