Thursday, September 15, 2016

Ties that did not bind

It never gets easy.  Social media is good for lots of things and for an over all feeling of connectedness.  But tonight when I popped on, I saw a post from my BIL.  He was posting about how thankful he was that his father in law was visiting from AZ.  Um, way to find out your father is in the state and not seeing you.  Again.

Most of the time his absence in my life is not something I think about.  It has been so long.  I have so much that is good and loving and right in my life.  In my head, I know that I am pining for something that never was.  Our relationship was not one where I felt loved, and I suspect he felt let down by me.  He must have, since he moved without warning, without farewell.

I'm glad for my sister.  She and my father are very close.  But I am glad I am camping this weekend.  We'll be by the ocean.  It will be cold but there is amazing restorative energies for me at the seaside.  And we are with about 150 friends from two churches.  The kids always have someone to hang with and I have time to chat with really great people.  I always treasure this time.  Today, I feel like more than anything, I need this time right now.

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