40 Years of Love

It is time to start decorating for Valentines Day around here.  In addition to the decor that the kids and I have made over the years, I also typically put out my grandmothers ruby glass collection--or at least pieces of it.  Most of it came to her at a large 40th anniversary party that was held for she and my grandfather.

I remember that party so well.  It was at the summer camp where I spent every summer growing up and it seemed like there were so many people.  There probably were--my grandparents were very social.  But I know that memories from way back when I was about 7 or 8 are a likely to be somewhat inaccurate. 

I remember that there seemed to be endless tables of food, and that I got to help my mother make some and set things out on the buffets.  I remember eating meatballs but nothing else about what was actually served. I remember music and pictures and I think some dancing.  It was a joyful magical time and I loved it, even though at the time the idea of 40 years of marriage being special was not very interesting to me.  I didn't know either that the very next year my grandmother would be diagnosed with breast cancer and two years later she would be gone.

Tonight I thought a lot about the 40 years of marriage as I dressed our dining room.  Though my wife and I have only had the joy of a legal marriage since 2004, we have been together since 1978  That makes 40 years for us this May.

So much has happened in those years.  Years of joy, years of sorrow, challenges, triumphs, dreams both realized and deferred.  Through it all, we have had each other.  We are in so many ways such polar opposites, I am chatty and gregarious. She is friendly but reserved and treasures quiet space and times. Yet at our core, we are each others touch stones, and I can not envision life without my soulmate. 

It helps me understand more fully the spiralling despair that my grandfather went through when his wife died.  And it reminds me to treasure every moment, because the gift of true love is not just at Valentines Day and not to be taken lightly.

I love the Grammys but. . .

I love music.  Almost every kind of music there is. There is one genre I don't particularly love but I will not even put out there what it is.  The reason is that to me, music is an important way for us to express the things that our spoken words or innermost thoughts are afraid to say.

I loved the Grammy's this year, though I confess I have DVR'd the last 30 minutes so that I will watch it tonight.  I also was loathe to give up my 30 minutes of reading time so I am having my cake and eating it too with the magic of recording.

Lots of my favorite artists won this year--notably Kendrick Lamar and Bruno Mars.  What was also notable to me was who did not win.  Namely Luis Fonsi and Daddy Yankee.  Despacito was the biggest hit (obviously we are just talking about my opinion here) in 2017  For actual stats, I looked up how many youtude hits it had.  There were something like 4 billion by October of last year.  I did not bother to look up how many sales there were, or downloads of the song, but I am sure there were high numbers there. 

So I ask you, why did they not win?  I believe simply they did not win because it was a latin group singing a latin song and this was a "mainstream" award.  We haven't come all that far people.

A special gift

My wife's birthday is in early February; KC's is in April.  Last week he came in to my work room staring at his phone.  "I'm so upset," he said.  "I just can't believe it."

I asked what was up and he said that Travis Wall and his dance company Shaping Sound were coming to a city near us for one performance only on January 29th.  Travis Wall is an amazing dancer and choreographer.  Our whole family is pretty well enarmored of his work and the amazing ways he thinks of helping to tell a story through dance.

I looked on line and knew that there was no way I could buy tickets for all of us.  The money tree in the back yard is dead, people!  (laughing)  It has been a hard winter financially, capping off a hard YEAR financially. Hey 2018 has to be better right? Please goddess? Anyway, I called my wife and suggested that I pay for she and KC to go together as birthday presents to them both. (the other part of KC's gift is a dinner out with 4 friends)  She was thrilled and they are both looking forward to this so much.

I am glad that I could gift them both with this.  For KC it isn't just about the dance which is his deep and abiding passion, but it is so important for him to see successful male dancers in the styles that he enjoys dancing in.  He adores contemporary and jazz and I know he will see a performance that will inspire him.  If you are curious, here is a Youtube link to a performance from the show.  You know I"ll be youtubing all I can to get a bit of its flavor here at home.  Shaping Sound  And while dance is not everyone's cup of tea--art in some form is so important for our kids; for all of us.  We need ways to express that which is deep within us and sometimes there is no way to release those emotions without dance, or song or another form of art.  I hope we all have ways to shape our sounds, and tell our truths.

Shiny New Year

This year both KC and Lissa were home for New Years Eve. Rob was working so it was me and my wife and the youngers who watched the New Year come in.  We watched a movie, played Apples to Apples and then noshed on the apps Lissa made from her new cookbook and while we watched the events from Times Square.  It was fun.  Low key fun, but made me think back to how much they have all grown.  New Years Eve used to be from a country some where else where it would be midnight there when it was about 6 to 8 p.m. here.  We'd have a feast based on the cuisine of the country we chose, play games jump on bubble wrap and it was literally done by 8 at the latest.

But they have grown so much.  Snuggling on the couch with them to watch the frozen folk in Times Square I am mindful that in a not distant future it will be me and my wife watching the new year come in.  Probably at that stage in life with a nice meal and an early bed. 

We have spent today taking down the tree, ordering a new tree since this one has survived all the kids, a plethora of animals and boy does it show it! We have cleaned and tidied and the house still looks pretty but also has a neatness and order about it that tends to disappear over the holidays.  Life is always busy and when you add in the holidays there is precious time to do much more than roll with the celebrations.  So I long ago decided that this was how I would handle it. I would clean thoroughly before decorating and thoroughly AFTER and the during was what my grandmother affectionately called "a lick and a promise."

I also got great headway on projects that are hard to fit into my regular schedule.  I have scrapbooks well in hand for 2017  On the one hand, since I only have 2 kids that I do this for now, you would think I could keep up better.  On the other hand, they have reached the point where their lives, experiences and interests do not mirror each other exactly so it increases the work in creating pages.  I have printed all the picture pages for both of them for all of 2017  I have organized all the additional memorablia--ticket stubs, receipts, menus and such and placed them in order with the pictures.  I now need to buy the scrapbook pages to insert in my plastic sleeves and then I can attach things permanently.  I always have great and grandiouse plans of keeping this up better.  I am not sure that i really can but am thinking of trying to literally schedule a scrapbooking date with myself at the end of every month.  We shall see.

Tomorrow my vacation is over and I return to work.  I have enjoyed every minute of my time off.  It has been a gift beyond measure but I am also ready to return to my familiar schedule. The week eases in a bit as it is a short week and the kids don't have any committments till Thursday.  Happy New Year all.  May 2018 be a good year to us all!