Monday, May 18, 2015

Recital Weekend

Recital weekend is over and we have survived!  Not only survived but the kids had a blast and did really well with their numbers. These are their 2 favorite costumes--KC's is from his jazz number and Lissa's is from her jazz number.  They also had ballet, hip hop and KC had tap and a final production number that was only open to older students.  I am proud of how well they did but most happy that they enjoyed it.  Lissa does not enjoy it as much as KC but I think that she still had a lot of fun.  If nothing else she adores wearing makeup. This picture is mostly sans make up but I love it.  She looks so relaxed in the shot.  Typically she does not love having her picture taken but this one is a real keeper.  Any dance picture you get of KC is a keeper- the boy lives to dance. He is all ready counting the days till dance camp. Presently he sees himself someday owning his own dance/art studio combo.

This is also the weekend that their long time best friends moved from next door to us to their new home across town. We will still get together but it won't be the daily back and forth between the houses that has dominated most of the littles lives.  I think KC was about 4 when B and his family moved in and Lissa about 2.  The thought of losing the close proximity of their best friends have deeply saddened KC and Lissa.

Friday night when he was lying in bed KC told me he wondered who would move in.  I said I hoped it was someone with kids as maybe there would be new friends to make even though we would still be friends with B and his family.  He looked at me with concern and said "I don't know about that."  I was baffled and asked why.  He said that the family who lived there before B was "mean" and they wouldn't play with them because they were black.

Whoa!  Say whaaaaat?  Cue the clueless parent face as first off I can't honestly remember who lived there before B and his family.  Secondly, as my 11 year old tells me that this kid always  swore at Rob I am wondering why I never heard about this.  I am pretty darn sure I would remember that.  KC said he didn't tell me because  Rob told him not to.

Hmmmmm.  I have read about kids who are adopted transracially who are not comfortable telling their parents about issues of racism.  I have talked about that with my kids and made it (at least in my little brain) 100 per cent clear that I have their back. That I want to know if something is wrong, if they are treated unfairly.  I have visibly gone to the mat on racial issues that I have seen--most noticably ones that involved the kids and I in stores or gift shops.  I have never ever been the parent who didn't want to talk about race.

Granted, this would have been years ago, as KC is 11 now. So Rob would have been about KC's present age when this happened. I think he is much more open in his relationship with me now because I have worked every single day of our lives on it.  But for Rob 11 was a hard time. I do remember that.  I wish I had known about this.  I might have somehow made it a little easier for him. Discrimination is not ever easy, but I always want my kids to know that I am there with them in the fight.  Here's to working for open honest dialogues. . . and good neighbors.

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