Not the usual Tuesday call

First I got a call a bit before 5 that my boss was back from a test for some serious pain that he has been experiencing lately.  Sadly the news is not really good.  He has a serious illness again.  One that he has had before in a number of incarnations.  I don't know what the prognosis is for him, and I feel very badly.  

Then at about 5:15 the phone rang again and it was Fiona.  The kids were clamoring to talk with her.  KC wanted to tell her all about painting a rainbow, Lissa about going to the park, etc.  But first the phone kept disconnecting. Turned out it was something to do with the speaker system in the schools phone line.  They changed phones and we could at last hear one another.

Fiona's voice was nervous and strained though.  She said she wanted to ask me advice.  Whoa.  She has never asked me advice.  I realize this was likely cued in a therapeutic session but it was still pretty huge.  And I am trying to take this in while Lissa jumps on the bed in the spare room and KC dances silently around me.  Mmmm.  My quiet peaceful life. LOL

Fiona had run off campus again.  The police had been called again.  This time the police told her that if she ran again, she would be arrested and taken to jail.  I am assuming this is what was actually told to her as her therapist was in the room and did not re-direct.  Fiona wanted to know what i thought she could do to stay safe and not do this.

Oh yeah.  Jane, couldn't you have sent me an email to warn me???  I so didn't know how the thrust of any discussions on this had gone and the last thing I want to do is confuse Fiona.  While I have no idea as to if it is true or not, I suspect Fiona was likely exposed to alcohol in utero.  She truly has these mega memory deficits and when she is raging, she doesn't remember a plan.  You can make a plan till the cows come home.  And she will genuinely want to follow it.  But when she gets pushed by that thing on that day--and some of them are ordinary living things that can't be stopped or changed--well it is all bets off.

I bought myself some time to think, saying how I wanted very much for her to stay safe because we love her and that made finding a plan she could use very important.  I asked if she could get permission from staff to take some space if she started to feel angry.  If there was a special place she would be allowed to go to.  Apparently I was on the track Jane was on as she then jumped in (thank the goddess!) and said that these were the things that they had discussed earlier. I reiterated at the end of the call that I love her always, even if she makes a mistake, but i worry so much for her.  (the last part there is in my head, not shared with Fi.)

I have been thinking about this ever since we hung up and I am wondering if I got an inexpensive heart necklace for her to wear.  If she could/would use it like a worry stone when upset.  If she touched it, would it remind her that we love her and want her to make a safe choice for herself?  Can Jane work with her on that concept if I get the necklace?  I will email Jane tomorrow and see what she thinks.