Friday, July 25, 2014

Planning for a festive Saturday

I am dancing inside with excitement.  Fiona's group home has a new clinical director and I really like her!  I am totally totally over the moon with excitement to have her as part of my daughter's team.

For the first time since she went to the group home, I have felt like I am not tilting at windmills and justifying myself six ways from Sunday.  But let me back up, so poor confused readers can see my excitement.

Fiona and the rest of the kids and I are going to go to her bio brother Dee's baby shower tomorrow.  I know how very very much Fiona wants to attend this. I also know that it is not likely that she will get lots of opportunities to see Dee or other members of her extended family. With their work schedules and transportation issues, it is challenging to orchestrate.  So this is a great time to get together.  A gathering like this is typically less stressful for my daughter as she is a social butterfly and loves to flit and chat with lots of people. It is when things get more deeply personal that she struggles.

Dr. C, the new clinical director called me this week and we had a very long, very productive discussion about the event, Fiona's issues, my plans for addressing issues that could come up or that have shown up in the past etc.  At the end of the conversations she said that I had a really good plan in place and that she would meet with the team and recommend it be approved.

The next day I got an email from the house director, that copied Dr. C saying my daughter has a consult to have her wisdom teeth extracted that same day.  While the procedure whould not happen then, they wanted to take her to the appointment and then meet me somewhere on the highway and have me take her to the party after that.

This filled my little heart with dread.  Part of my "plan" involves Fi helping to wrap the gifts she helped to pick out and to use that time to talk with all the kids about what a baby shower is.  How people act there, how there is not lots of one on one time with the new parents etc.  The dental visit would make those prep steps impossible.  Perhaps a less directionally challenged person could have that discussion en route. I will need to be totally immersed in the drive to the city.

Dr. Collins called me again last night and amazingly  she shared my concern! She felt that my plan was a good one and a healthy one and that combining the two was far too much for my daughter.  She advised me to contact the house director and ask that he reschedule the consult and that I notify the DDS of my decision as well.  I have done so and hope that all this means that tomorrow will be a day my daughter enjoys, feeling the love of both her biological family and her adoptive family surrounding her and supporting her.

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