Womans March Weekend

The changing of the guard has happened and our country has a new president.  It has been a strange week for me emotionally.  I have felt (and still feel) that the results of this election showed me that I needed to be in meaningful dialogue with those who don't see the world through the same lens that I do.  The majority of my friends IRL and on social media do, but there are some Trump folks that I am friends with.

What shocks me is that they aren't really interested in meaningful dialogue.  In a long thread with a friend on FB the gist of his responses was that "the election is over. Get over it."  Obviously this is not what I and a number of other respondents were saying.  We voiced our fears.  I reached out and said that I wanted to know why he felt good about the result.  What great changes did he expect and look forward to.  Crickets.  Seriously.  Just more rhetoric of getting over the election and no response to the concerns that I and others shared about health care, LGBT rights, the environment, the black community etc.

Obviously this left me disheartened.  I have pretty much always avoided talking politics and religion with my friends. I feel that people share many different interests and we don't need to agree all the time but we also don't need to make each other uncomfortable.  I have since come to feel that this is not a good stance to take.  I need to share why I am concerned for my family in a Trump presidency.  I need to respectfully share why I am opposed to a number  his ideology.  But I also believe firmly that if you do  believe that things will be better I want to know why.  And how.  Because clearly I have lived for too long in my blue state bubble and now I am faced with what seems like an incomprehensible reality.

So on the heels of that rather depressive situation came a weekend where our country protested.  So many marches in so many cities.  I had friends marching in Boston, NY, Washington, KY and OH and TX.  It was a strong and powerful message sent across our country and around the world as marches of solidarity took place in other countries as well.

It is only the beginning.  There is much work to be done.  I will find a way to be part of that work.  (My daughter had commitments on Saturday that I could not back out of and no way for her to attend them if I was not there.) But this is not, and can not be, a one off event.  Our church is all ready looking at ways to organize not just our church but with other churches in our county.  The work will not be easy.  But we will be heard and we will not stay silent.

Food packing day

It has been a busy weekend in many ways.  Yesterday KC and a lot of the members of the dance school that they participates in performed shows at the area assisted living facilities.  They were very warmly received in all venues.  He was in 3 of the numbers this year and the shows were about 45 minutes in length.  They did 4 shows in all and devoted the larger part of yesterday to giving joy in this way to the seniors of our city.  He was proud and excited to be doing this.  Last year he was only in 2 numbers, this year he was in 3.  He stressed a lot about whether or not he would slip when he did his solo in the tap number, whether he would get tired doing the lift etc etc.  He did great though.

Lissa spent from 2 to 6 yesterday outside a local big box store with her Girl Scout troop. She was helping with the cookie booth and despite the very chilly temperatures the girls did well on their sales. Lissa and I worked together on finding recipes on the net that use Girl Scout cookies and folks who bought more than 4 boxes got a free recipe book.  It was a cute little sales aid and Lissa enjoyed doing it.  I helped at the booth the last 2 hours of the day, having completed taxi duties associated with the winter show performances.  Holy handwarmers it was cold!  Lissa was fine as I had her wear her really warm winter gear--snow boots, snow pants, parka etc.  Dressed like we were doing a winter hike.  However our troop is not wealthy and many of the kids working were very lightly dressed for being outside so long.  When I came I brought extra gloves and chemical handwarmers and just left them on the end of the table so people could borrow gloves, and use the handwarmers.  They were gone in a flash.  It is one of those things you don't realize at first. In a lot of social situations it is easy to disguise the fact that there is a real fine line between having enough and just barely getting by nowadays.  But sometimes it shows.  Kids who say they only wear hoodies because of "fashion" sometimes really only wear hoodies for other reasons.

Today Lissa has a "hang out" (we have apparently reached the age where we are too cool to have a play date) with her friend L.  I'll pick her up at 3:30 and she and KC and i will head to the food packing center.  Both kids were initially thrilled to do this.  Today not so much; primarily because KC is a bit tired from yesterday and because it made for a shorter time for Lissa and her friend to be together today.  However I have been impervious to their half hearted suggestions that we not go.

First of all, I believe in showing up when you say you will and I did check with them before I signed up our team. Secondly, I think the energy of the event will come through to them.  I have done the United Day of Caring with my work team and you can't help but get energized because to be in community with so many people excited to help others---well, it is pretty cool.  But most importantly, I think it is important to find a variety of ways to help others.  This is a way to give of service and I am convinced that service needs to be a component in creating a more fair and just world.  It isn't just about writing a check or dropping off a donation.  Those are fine. They are needed and there are times when I have contributed in that way as well. But we also need to be willing to work for a better world, and a fairer distribution of that which we all need in order to live.  So I hope today will help my two youngest see that and I'm more than willing to plan another "hang out" time for Lissa and her friend!

Farewell Pres. Obama and my take away

I watched President Obama's final address last night.  I was very emotionally moved by it.  I remember the joy I felt 8 years ago when he won his first term.  He was so classy, he had such vision, he was articulate.  He was BLACK.  He was from Chicago.  He was proof to my children that anyone of any color can reach for the stars and grab hold of them.

Throughout his administration I was never ashamed of the actions of his administration.  He spoke and acted with thought.  His kids weren't in the news for doing things they shouldn't.  His wife, was the most amazing First Lady of my remembered life time.  His presidency was for me, how my parents felt about JFK.

His closing address never wavered from that bar of civility and class that he set so very high from day one.  He didn't encourage negative sounds from the crowd when talk turned to the new administration. No "going low" he "went high" all the way.

I have great fears surrounding the Trump presidency. I worry that he will surround himself with people whose sole purpose is to dismantle the freedoms that have been so hard won for so many.  I worry that those all ready marginalized will be even more so.   I worry for those whose health care while imperfect, has been far better with the Affordable Care Act.  I worry for the rights of women to choose freely what happens to their own bodies.  I worry that as a country we will no longer be seen as wise and--well--important to the rest of the world. I worry that wrong choices by those in power will ultimately be a financial and environmental price that are paid for by my children.

Yet worrying can do little. So I try to spend a small amount of time acknowledging these concerns, validating their realness.  I spend a lot more time, figuring out what I can do.  How i can live my life in a positive meaningful way that lives out my personal values, and that does what i can to ensure the rights of others.

Part of that will happen Monday afternoon and evening as the kids and I volunteer with the United Way to package food for those who would not eat other wise.  A staggering number of children are "food insecure" in our country.  I personally know what it is like to wonder when you will eat next.  I remember hiding the fact that I didn't really have food in my house when I first went out on my own.  I didn't want others to know that all I had was one bag of potatos and food for my cat. To this day, a full pantry makes me smile and feel safe.  There are too many people without that feeling of safety.  I can help.  I can teach my kids that they can help, that when we have enough to get by we can and should reach out and give a little more to those who don't.

My other take away was that I need to have more conversations with the people who don't believe as I do.  This is harder for me than volunteering and giving of myself.  I don't like arguments.  I don't like listening to words that sound hateful, or bigoted or flat out illogical.  Additionally I live in one of the bluest of the blue states.  I think that the only Trump supporters I have actually met can be counted on one hand. But I may be wrong.  Maybe they are as afraid of dialogue as i have been and we have been politely ignoring each other, to our detriment.

I know I can not support the ideology of this adminstration, but I need to understand those who did. We all need to.  Because if it really was out of work white workers who were Trump supporters, or gray haired ladies who remembered the 50s fondly or whatever, we need to talk.  I need to know how they think this will be better.  I need to know what CAN be better,with or without a Trump.  I think that is the only way we can move forward, toward that illusive "greatness" that became a slogan in a campaign that will be remembered for years to come.

Little Aggravations. . . large blessings

It has been a tough, albeit short, work week.  A dear coworker and his wife tragically lost their son two nights ago to an asthma attack. Their son was young and healthy (mid 20's) and had successfully managed asthma his whole life.  Yet in a blink, he was gone.


I can't wrap my mind around this.  I don't know what to say to them.  My coworker and his wife stopped in to the office today and all we could do was cry together.  Which seems counter productive to my "fix-it" nature, but I suspect it is all anyone can do. They are handling the routine affairs, sleepwalking through the things that are required when someone passes.  Grieving with someone is also necessary.  So I sat at my desk, all blotchy and red nosed (I am the ugliest crier EVER!).


Last night Rob asked if he could stay out late after work.  His girlfriend had invited him over and he would, he said, be home a bit after midnight.  My wife sighed.  Rob coming in, even when he tries to be really quiet, results in the puppy barking like a maniac for a few seconds.  Not long, but just long  enough to waken my wife who has trouble returning to sleep.


I am normally pretty sympathetic to her.  She and I both have crazy levels of work demands and I get her need for sleep.  Last night though, all I could say to her was how lucky we are that he was going to walk in the door at midnight.  We have friends who would give anything right now to get awakened at midnight with their son coming home.  We are blessed.

Welcome 2017

Today  Lissa was at a friends house and my wife was at her church job. Rob was working and KC and I were home  alone on a gloriously sunny and not too chilly winters day.  We decided to welcome in the new year with a short hike.  Only about an hour or so and very close by, we rambled about and chatted for the hour that we spent together.  Despite the moodiness that comes with the nearly teen status that he's so proud of, KC is still overall a very talkative guy.  He lets me into his feelings most times and I am grateful for that.  While I can't and wouldn't "fix" everything it sure helps to know what he is mulling over.  He is my deepest thinker and my fellow whose emotions run high to the surface.  Of all my kids, he wants and gives hugs most readily.

The weather was perfect for our walk, no wind so the fact that it was barely 30 was not a problem.  Glorious sun and crystalline blue skies contrasted with the white snow on our trek.  I don't know what 2017 holds, but it started in a totally wonderful way!