Christmas 2018

It's been a busy few days.  The holidays always are.  Somehow, despite the best of planning, the most earnest decisions to "not get caught up in the hype" we do. There is never enough time, particularly this year.  I have had extra duties at work this year, my wife's business has been busy. The teen is now working two part time jobs and both he and his sister are busy with extra curricular activities as well. 

Yet somehow, it gets done. Cookies and fudge are made.  Cards are sent out, albeit later than I would have liked. The house is decorated and stories of Christmasses past are re-told. New memories are made.  Laughter and music ring through the house. 

Do we get it all done?  Heck no.  This year we were able to find time to take the family drive looking at decorated houses.  We skipped that last year and the kids mentioned that they really missed it.  Back onto the clipboard of fun it went.  But off went touring the city Festival of Trees.  Because, well there are still only 24 hours in a day folks.  Even though I personally think there should be some sort of magic extender of hours around the holiday time.

The house cleaning was of the "lick and a promise" variety up till Christmas Eve Eve when I was finally off of work. Then I tidied and cleaned around the glitter and garland and promised our home that in a bit over a week I'd be cleaning it up for reals! 

But as long as things are sanitary, that is truly good enough right now.  I need time with the kids, with my wife, time to make coquito and deliver to my friends.  Time to wrap and enjoy it and not race against the clock.

Christmas Day Fiona came home for the day and it was wonderful to have her here. It is always a double celebration day as it is also her birthday.  I made a German chocolate cake and we had a festive Christmas dinner with several of her favorite foods.  She loved her gifts, both the Christmas ones and her birthday ones.

Today we went to Maine to do Christmas with my mom.  This too was fun, though I can see that she is beginning to age.  Well, we are all always aging, but to be less robust, less able to do for herself with ease.  It hurts to see that.  We decorated her cane for her while we were there--another aging sign that was not there the last time we were together just a few months earlier. She loved the time with the kids and they with her.  I am grateful for the constant loving presence that she has always had in their lives.


Tomorrow I have another whole day off from work and then back I go on Friday.  But this has been a lovely break and a truly wonderful Yuletide season. 

Of cars and care

I am often mindful of how the universe has plans for us beyond our knowing.  I drove to church today and my newly repaired car began smoking just as I pulled into the church parking lot.  We worship in a city about 30 minutes from where we live so this was a cause for considerable alarm.  I have AAA but a tow would be to a place in the city I am in, not the city I am from and this would be a challenge.  I texted my wife that I might have a problem and asked that she pick KC up from work.  He had a morning shift at the market and I was going to pick him up at 12 on my way home from church.

However, the universe is amazing.  It turned out that one of our parishioners used to own his own auto repair shop.  Although now his focus is on hybrid vehicles and electric cars, he had a lot of knowledge to share, even about old Scion's!  He said he would check it out and low and behold my mechanic forgot to tighten down the oil cap after doing my oil change last week.  He declined my cash and went to an auto parts store  to get me an oil cap, cleaned the top of my engine where oil had probably sprayed out during the drive (hence the smoking I had seen!) 30 minutes later I was safely on the road home.

When  I pulled into the parking lot in my smoking car I was thinking to myself how this was such a problem--I was so far from home and it was another potential bill in a year that has besieged us financially.  Instead, grace smiled on us and we were helped with knowledge and kindness.  I am so lucky and will pay this blessing forward.

Happy Almost Birthday Elisabeth!

She is sassy and stylish, funny, with a quick wit and cutting sarcasm.  Fiercely loyal and yet not afraid to be herself and to stand by what she believes in. . . she is my youngest.  And in a matter of days she turns 12.  This past weekend we had her friend birthday party--a sleepover event with 5 of her friends. 

Elisabeth has really good friends.  The kind that I hope will all still be friends years from now.  The interesting thing is that they are from all walks of life.  Because we homeschool she has friends from the neighborhood, from Girl Scouts, from her time in basketball   and from her dance classes.  Yet they all mesh together well and they are really kind to each other.  They know her well, as evidenced by the shirt she was gifted with! 

As I watched them this weekend I was struck by how grown up she looks and acts.  Wasn't it just yesterday she wore a crown and hit her brother with her birthday wand?  LOL

Next year it will be her turn to go through our church's Coming of Age program, as if this mama didn't need more proof her babies are growing up fast!  But I am happy for  her and excited to see what the future holds for her.  Her actual birthday is this Sunday and she wants to spend Sunday afternoon helping to distribute gifts to foster kids.  She is deeply moved by the fact that she knows foster kids often lose treasured items because they leave their family home so quickly and/or move so often.  She knows that some of her siblings have been through foster care and she has chosen to help work with a friend's new nonprofit which will help 400 foster kids in our city have great Christmasses. I might mourn the loss of my "baby" but I sure love the heart and passion that she has for the world.

Sunday we will bring cupcakes to church and Monday we have her family party and she will at long last get her own phone. 

Stepping forward

This guy here?  The one with the two legs, not the four.  It seems like not long ago that he was so little, so anxious about the wider world.  I remember that despite his love of dance, he would tremble back stage, clutching my hand, nearly breaking the teeny bones in my hand because he squeezed so tightly.  

I've never been one to push my kids. They only squeeze your hands for a moment in time.  And then you turn around and they are a teen.  Going off on mission trips and helping others.  Chatting with friends and planning outings that only occasionally involve me getting him at least part way to the destination. This year he has two part time jobs---one at the dance school and one at the local grocery store.  He's saving up for a cooler phone than what his mom will buy him.   And the little guy who was afraid to go on stage?  That guy decided to try out for one of the acting roles in recital.  This studio does theater as well as dance.  He auditioned and got a part.  He will be the godfather in the dance school version of Shark Tale!  

This spring he will turn 15 and I know the pace of changes and separation and working towards newly defined dreams will only intensify.  So for now I am grateful for the fact that he still gives hugs warmly and willingly.  That he asks each day when I come home how my day was and that he enjoys movie nights with his doddering parents.  I am blessed.

Interim excitement

So I wrote a post back probably in the end of January, or perhaps early February about my boss leaving and how I applied for the job.  I was summarily told I was not particularly qualified for the position and sent back to my office.  Well, not exactly, but it was a very short conversation and the person in chage of hiring was very definate that he felt I was unqualified.

I spent about 24 hours wallowing in self pity and then moved on emotionally.  My plan was to continue building my skill set, taking classes that my company will pay for and then take those skills to another company (I actually have a company that said they would take my resume)  Meanwhile, no new manager was hired.  Many were apparently interviewed but no one fit the bill.  I took this as an opportunity to take on more tasks, learn more "managerial" tasks and reports, and to try to make things easier for the portfolio manager who was overseeing not only our site but at least 9 other properties.

On Friday she called me in to her office and said that she has been advocating on my behalf for the position. She said that she sees leadership potential in me and has been talking with folks at corporate.  She has told them about the tasks I have taken on and the things I have learned and apparently. . . I am to be an interim property manager with the possibility of things being permanent if I continue to show my worth.

I am so excited!

Happy Thanksgiving!

 

Happy Thanksgiving to all!  We were lucky to have all the kids home this year. Fiona came here first before going on later in the day to her cousin's home where she will spend the night. Rob helped with a lot of the food prep this year, chopping veggies, making mac and cheese, a quiet but oh so helpful presence in the kitchen.  I made 5 pies and most are all ready nigh onto gone.  I try to make sure that there is something for everyone as I think everyone deserves to have a favorite food on a special day.  Hence pecan pie, chocolate mousse pie, lemon merangue pie, apple pie, and pumpkin pie.  A fruit salad for my sister in law who is diabetic.  We have a rather diverse Thanksgiving menu, owing in large part to the blending of our family favorites with the traditional New England menu and sides.  We had turkey with stuffing cooked in the bird and outside the bird (because some of us love stuffing but don't eat meat) I had a vegetarian entree of quinoa stuffed eggplant, we had mac and cheese, a big pot of sauteed spinach, and then all the usual suspects that one sees at a classic Thanksgiving day dinner in New England.  Somehow between an instant pot, two crock pots and all 4 burners and the oven, we got it all cooked, baked and served!

I am thankful that my FIL and SIL could be with us, as well as my BIL and his wife, our dear friends who are godparents to our kids  were also here.  It was freezing outside but inside there was a lot of love and laughter and I am truly blessed.  My FIL recently had a health scare and we are even more mindful of the fact that the times we are together need to be treasured as they are finite.

In many ways this has been a very hard year.  We have had a number of really tough financial issues to deal with. But there is always much to be grateful for.  Our kids are amazing. They are thoughtful, they are fun to be with and they are caring.  KC who now goes by Ken in the work world, has a part time job at a grocery store and helps with a class at the dance school he attends.  He decided he wanted a character part in the dance recital--which is part theater as well as dance.  He auditioned last week and got a role.  It is hard to believe that this is the child who used to clutch my hand so tightly back stage that I could feel my bones protest!

Fiona has a part time job also and is doing so well for herself. She is setting goals and learning money management and slowly becoming more adult in her choices. 

Elisabeth is almost 12 and spunky sassy and personable.  I admire her ability to stand up for herself and others--she is rarely swayed by the opinions of others.

Chet is happy and helpful and always in the thick of things.  Rob is a quietly helpful guy, a respected employee of the restaurant where he is a chef and as beloved a brother as he is a son.

I truly am so very blessed.

Girl Time

All right folks.  My tech skills are obviously a bit lacking tonight as for the life of me I can't make the picture anything but sideways.  And of course, we were not laying on our sides to take this picture.  Instead, my lovely Elisabeth and I had a girls afternoon at a hair care event in our city.  It was specifically for people of color and I was definately in the minority.  I didn't mind a bit.  It is important for Elisabeth, who is 11 now (and incidently HOW did my baby get to be 11?) to be surrounded by strong brown and black women. These women in addition to many owning their own businesses, know a lot about hair and self care.  People were friendly and easy to engage in conversation--course I am chatty by nature so you generally have to give me the cut direct for me to realize you don't want me hanging around!

They spoke knowledgeably about the dangers hidden in many of the cosmetics and hair products that are used.  They spoke on the importance of healthy diets and having a healthy self love.  There were free samples, free healthy food snacks and a time to talk and build connections.  She had a wonderful time and really enjoyed it.  She told me afterwards that it is usually hard to sit still so long but that this was interesting.  She is of an age where she has much more say (and often her own cash) involved in purchases and I feel that since she is such a fashion forward young woman, I want her to hopefully make smart choices that will enhance her beauty if that is what she wants, but not undermine her health.

We have had this gathering on our calendar for weeks but it was this weekend that a picture came through my Facebook feed of a TRA black child with a photo shoot in a cotton field with her white parents.  Seriously?  I have no words for the anger I feel at the insensitivity.  That lovely young lady could have been in a field of wildflowers if you were going for the nature look.  It did not have to be something associated with slavery and degradation of a people.

Do I think the parents intended it?  Nope, but I sure do think they were insensitive and that they need to do things like what we did today.  There have to be times my kids are not in the minority. Whether it is me being the only white face at a birth family reunion, or a gathering like this,  Adopting my children is not a case of them somehow becoming me with more melatonin.  It also means I have an obligation to honor and celebrate who they are and help them to feel positive about themselves.

Aside from all of that, it was just a "girl time" experience for Lissa and I. At 11 she is becoming a witty, sometimes sarcastic, but pretty clever and enjoyable companion.  It was a super fun experience.  I also came away with a contact for a photographer.  She was at the event and had a really calm demeanor.  We need to think about getting another family portrait done. The kids have changed so much since the last one.  Finding one that is a good fit for Chet can be a challenge but I really liked this woman's vibe.  We shall see.