Saturday, February 28, 2009

Fiona called

Rob's biosister called last night. I was so surprised to hear her voice. And to hear her for the first time in many years speak clearly on the phone. Clearly period. Maybe they have finally, I hope reduced the meds the child has been on.

I send her a card and short note every week to ten days. Used to be weekly but her therapist gave me mixed messages on this so I try to do it about every 10 days. I can't make myself go longer than that. No one has ever stayed in her life. In some ways that includes us. She ought to at least get cards and pictures and little stuff that lets her know we love her even if she can't be here.

She didn't ask to talk with the kids. She wanted to tell me that she might get a television and she might be moving. She didn't know where, they were just looking for a place. I know the RTC that she is in specializes in stabalizing kids so that they can be then sent to some other form of placement. And she has been there 2 yrs so it has taken a long time for the stabalization to happen. But that is typically how it works for Fiona. It takes her a long time to get the program. Her mental health issues and her cognitive issues are such a hard mix. When she finally gets what is expected and can achieve it, gee she qualifies to move. Typically to a place with less structure and supervision and guess what happens? She destabalizes all over the place. Winds up hospitalized. Can you tell we have been down this route before?

As we were wrapping up the phone call she asked if I would send her pictures of our dog and cat. I haven't sent one of the pets for a while so I wasn't surprised and said sure I would make sure they were in the next note. "Oh and your tea set" she added in a very soft voice. Tea set? I was confused. I might have written some time about "tea parties" that KC and Elisabeth had but it didn't involve a real tea set. I forget what exactly I said but she could tell I wasn't getting what she meant. No, in the dining room she clarified. "They were so pretty and I loved to look at them." In our dining room there is a cabinet with china passed down from my grandparents. There are tea cups there. I never knew she loved them. I wish with all my heart that there was more that I could do with and for her. I wish the social workers had been honest from day one and that the supports that they promised were there. (instead of just saying to call 9-1-1) I wish most of all that there was some way to help her have a safe and happy life. But I can take a picture of the tea cups.

No comments: