Monday, November 18, 2013
KC, Fiona and looking for my therapists hat!
He has used my scrapbook program, importing pictures we took over the year, and adding graphics from the program. Then he draws and embellishes with stickers, stamping etc. As he put it, it is a mixed media gift. His art teacher and dear friend J is a very gifted mixed media artist. She was just featured in some craft mag recently and if I could remember the name I would give a shout out! Some pitch woman I am! At any rate, the point is that he has worked on this dilegently night after night when his sister goes to bed. It is about 3/4 done and it is really cute.
He also has a story he has written that I have to help him import into the scrapbook program so he can illustrate. Then we are going to print a color copy bring it to the copy center and have it bound for gifts for relatives. He and Lissa have also been working on something for me at night. Periodically I am told that i can't go in the living room or the kitchen, whereever they have set up shop. I love the creativity!
Fiona was supposed to call tonight but was busy and did not. Jane called me though.and we had a long talk. I told her how excited I am about Fi's placement and my hopes that it will go well. She shared with me that Krystle who has long lived in the south is back up north and living with their first mother. Krystle is a lovely young lady but she has stopped calling her sister because she is afraid if Fiona finds out she is living with Mom J that things will not go well with her and for her.
Jane is concerned because she has done so much to reunite family and now things have stalled out, with very few family members keeping contact with Fiona. Jane thinks it likely is because they are all concerned about what do they say if Fi asks a question that led to answering about her birth mom. The reality is, Fiona wants to see her first mother and we all know this. At some point,l I think it has to happen. For her. And probably for her first mom. They need a chance to try and get to know each other as adults, and hopefully work beyond the pain and trauma of the early years. Sadly, Jane will not be allowed to facilitate this and so she is forwarding Mom J's contact info to me. I am not a therapist and I worry greatly that i will botch things hideously but once Fiona is placed and settled I am reaching out to Mom J. I also have to deal w/ having a talk with Rob about all this but these hard conversations are part of being an adoptive family. It is my hope that my constant secure presence and my love will help give both of them strength to deal with this. I don't know if Rob wants to meet mom J. I am fine if he does. I know for Fi this is a deep visceral need. It is beyond a want. It is a hole that has been left in her spirit since she was 7.