Ugh! I came home from work ill yesterday. This rarely happens. I am pretty healthy (knock wood) by nature. Even sick children routinely gravitating to my bed during their punk times does not usually infect me. Alas, the dreaded stomach bug found me yesterday. KC had this over a week ago so I am pretty sure I didn't get it from him. More likely from one of my coworkers as we were all sharing holiday goodies in the office together the past several days.
By noon I was home, tucked in bed and most of the day and the evening are a blur. Rob did a first rate job stepping up and helping with the littles. Cooked them supper right on schedule, got Lissa her shower. Truly it was amazing. In the midst of it all, feeling dizzy and fuzzyheaded, the phone rang and it was the program director for Fiona's new home. She is working together a plan for Fiona and needed my input.
Despite the fact that it was hard to focus, this was a good conversation. It appears that due to Fi's level of chronic instability she is recommending a risk meeting which I will be able to attend as part of the team. Robin is concerned that contact with extended family members would best be done with thereputic supports and I am fine with that. (cousin N who has been a regular in Fiona's life is excepted from this, as are myself and my family) But Mom J and her Krystal and Dee who have had very limited contacts are whom she is speaking of.
I stressed that it is important to make sure the contacts happen and that it not be a somewhere in the distant future kind of deal. Nor tied to behaviors and such as Fiona has no sense of time but does feel a very intense need (and rightly so) to be in contact with her family members and her friends that she has built up over the years at the great school. Robin seemed to get that and assured me the risk meeting would happen soon after her moving in.
A potential fly in the ointment seems to be a general unwillingness to let former staff and Jane have contact with Fiona. Robin cited Hippa and I am having a hard time understanding how making a friendly phone call as a friend violates that. I'll do some research when I am clearer minded and be prepared. To me, it smacks more of the general rule that agencies seem to have had for Fi which was when she moved from a foster home or a facility it was "fresh start." Which sounds good in theory but what is the purpose of making connections and emotional supports if one can not take them forward through your life. Seems to me that a fresh start does not need to negate the good that has happened in one's past.
Meanwhile I am at least ambulatory today. I have had a couple cups of tea, and about half a rice cake. I brought the kids to the library and though that was not a lot, it was a good step forward in getting my strength back for the hustle and bustle of the holidays. And today is winter solstice, which is a special night at our house. The shortest night of the year, but the night that holds the promise of returning light and warmth. We eat by candle light.
Saturday, December 21, 2013
Saturday for the sickie
Labels:
adoption,
birth families,
dysfunction,
Fiona,
medical,
mental health
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1 comment:
Glad that you're feeling better. Hope your solstice was a good one. Hope that things with Fiona get all fixed too.
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