Today, I read that George Zimmerman will at last face charges. A man kills a young boy and it takes weeks for the wheels of justice to turn. At least it does if you are a young black man. The ensuing character assasination that took place against Traevon made me cringe. We all know that kids do stupid things. Whatever he got suspended from school for had nothing to do with being killed walking on a city street. Unarmed on a city street.
What happened to Traevon is in my mind when I let Rob go off to hang out at the park with friends. I can't put him in a bubble. I can teach him to try and be smart in his choices, but I know that the same thing said/done by a white kid will not end the same way for my handsome dark skinned son. And I worry.
We have so far to go. This is only a small first step in a long march.
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Fiona's Coming to Visit!
Fiona comes for an essentially unsupervised 3 hour family visit this Saturday! I am so excited. She will arrive noonish which is great as the kids can't really miss dance class. Recital is but weeks away and KC is so into dance. We will do lunch here at home. She wanted to eat out but I said she could help me get lunch instead. (LOL) Eating out is fun but we also want to go to a glow in the dark mini golf place at our nearby mall and I know it will take a while for a family our size to get through the course. Then we will come home and make some cupcakes to have a small early birthday honoring for KC. His birthday is Tuesday (more on that in a future post) and I think she will enjoy being part of things. It isn't a big presenty event Saturday, just decorating the cupcakes together and singing happy birthday. Then we will play out in the back yard weather permitting before it is time for her to go back to the Great School.
I am incredibly lucky because Amazing Jane is transporting both ways and that is a huge blessing to me. I have had a fair number of migraines lately. (a combo of work stress, spring allergies and who knows what) But it makes me edgy about distance driving and I abhor city driving at the best of times.
I am so glad she will be home with us for a fairly extended visit.
I am incredibly lucky because Amazing Jane is transporting both ways and that is a huge blessing to me. I have had a fair number of migraines lately. (a combo of work stress, spring allergies and who knows what) But it makes me edgy about distance driving and I abhor city driving at the best of times.
I am so glad she will be home with us for a fairly extended visit.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
The Elephant in the Room
I don't really talk about my father. If there is an "elephant in the room" in my life, it is him. And the lack of love he showed me, the lack of relationship that we were unable to develop. The lack of respect that I have for him for his life choices and. . . blech, this is sounding whiny and bitter and that was not my intent. This is also my third time trying to write this post. An all time record for someone who typically dashes off a post in a couple of minutes!
I got an email this weekend from my mom. She wanted to let me know that she had heard from my sister and sis had told her that my father has skin cancer. They are apparently unsure if it has spread to other organs. I should feel sad I guess. But I have not heard from him since Chet was about 3 or 4 years old. He moved across the country and never said goodbye. He moved in July that year and let me know with a Christmas card. I felt like a schmuck because I had been trying to contact him and could not figure out what was up. He had said good bye to my sister. They have always had a strong relationship.
It would be easy to pin the disconnect on my sexual orientation. And it may play a role. But we didn't even get along well when I was a little kid and I doubt I had any thoughts to my sexual identity when I was 7 or 8 years old. Not even when I was 9 or 10 for that matter.
I always knew though that I wasn't good enough. I wasn't what he wanted--whatever that way. Hey what that was, was my sister. Someone who didn't want to question, who didn't always want the back story, whose middle name was not "why?" LOL
For me there are too many memories of times that should have been glowing memories that his actions and comments turned sad or sour. Graduation from high school (with honors no less!) was one of those. I never look at those pictures because my eyes are swollen from crying.
I had to write this really awkward post to my mom that I hoped for his sake and my sisters that his diagnosis has a positive outcome and that at the very least, I hope they are able to pull off her visit to his state this July. But frankly I feel more empathy for some of my residents where I work. I know them and I can't really say that about my father. I had this really deep fear that my mother wanted me to have some "Tears of Endearment" moment with him but thankfully I think she sort of understood. Sometimes people leave before they ever actually check out of this plane of existance.
I got an email this weekend from my mom. She wanted to let me know that she had heard from my sister and sis had told her that my father has skin cancer. They are apparently unsure if it has spread to other organs. I should feel sad I guess. But I have not heard from him since Chet was about 3 or 4 years old. He moved across the country and never said goodbye. He moved in July that year and let me know with a Christmas card. I felt like a schmuck because I had been trying to contact him and could not figure out what was up. He had said good bye to my sister. They have always had a strong relationship.
It would be easy to pin the disconnect on my sexual orientation. And it may play a role. But we didn't even get along well when I was a little kid and I doubt I had any thoughts to my sexual identity when I was 7 or 8 years old. Not even when I was 9 or 10 for that matter.
I always knew though that I wasn't good enough. I wasn't what he wanted--whatever that way. Hey what that was, was my sister. Someone who didn't want to question, who didn't always want the back story, whose middle name was not "why?" LOL
For me there are too many memories of times that should have been glowing memories that his actions and comments turned sad or sour. Graduation from high school (with honors no less!) was one of those. I never look at those pictures because my eyes are swollen from crying.
I had to write this really awkward post to my mom that I hoped for his sake and my sisters that his diagnosis has a positive outcome and that at the very least, I hope they are able to pull off her visit to his state this July. But frankly I feel more empathy for some of my residents where I work. I know them and I can't really say that about my father. I had this really deep fear that my mother wanted me to have some "Tears of Endearment" moment with him but thankfully I think she sort of understood. Sometimes people leave before they ever actually check out of this plane of existance.
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Looking Sharp!
Came home and the hike we had hoped for did not really pan out. It was cloudy and spitting rain and frankly cold. Where we hike it is typically 10 degrees colder than our locations average temps which would have made it mid 30's. Blech. The kids were devastated though so I wound up taking them up to the park so we could try out their new soccer ball and run off some of the days excess energy. K stayed back and the ranch and relaxed.
Tonight we will have a nice supper, culminating with our "Hoppy Easter" cake and then it will be early beds for some wee folks!
Hoppy Easter!
It is 7:30 a.m. and my tribe is outside playing with their new Easter stuff. The neighbors are going to love us! LOL They woke at 5:30 ish and I held them at bay till quarter to 6. Then lightly breakfasted them and the hunt was on! At our house the Easter Bunny leaves each person clues and these are hidden in colored plastic eggs. Every person has their own color of egg to hunt for, minimizing the chance of someone taking the wrong clue. Lissa's clues are pictures at this point, but the older kids have written rhymes. There is very little candy left by the bunny here. Each basket for everyone but Chet had bubble wands, jump ropes, and an outside ball. A football for Rob, soccer ball for Lissa and a volley ball for KC. Oh and they each had squishy bunny toys. Chet got peeps and some jewelry.
Hopefully they will all burn off some energy as we don't leave for church until 10ish! I love the laughter and the excitement though. They are so darn funny to watch and listen to.
Hopefully they will all burn off some energy as we don't leave for church until 10ish! I love the laughter and the excitement though. They are so darn funny to watch and listen to.
Friday, April 6, 2012
Shopping with Rob
A week or ten days ago, I asked Rob if he wanted to get "fancy" clothes for Easter. He has always wanted to dress up in the past but now I live with a teen who wears skinny jeans, thinks belts should be worn BELOW the belt loops and ones boxers are an um fashion statement! LOL So I wasn't surprised when he said no, and chose to order a buffalo plaid shirt that was festive only because it was yellow and black. However this order on the internet appears to be coming rather literally on the slow boat from China and not likely to arrive in time for Sunday. So when KC's suit arrived on Thursday night, Rob finally realized. . . that he wanted a stylish look too. He watched KC strutting around in the suit and fedora, took me aside and said quietly "I want to look kind of like that." So off we went to his favorite retailer. The one with the red star for those who shop with teen boys and truly want to know! LOL
We took the escalator to the mens dept. I asked Rob if he had a color in mind for his outfit. He nodded affirmatively. "Orange, " he announced. Um, orange? I explain that this is not really that Easter/spring kind of color. But gamely I find a selection of orange ties and show him. I suggest that perhaps one of these strikes his fancy and he can build the outfit around that pop of color. I give myself points for creativity.
And watch my teen pick out a lime green bow tie. Yes, really bright, really shiny lime green bow tie. Hmmmm. I ask what color shirt he envisions with this. Purple, he immediately responds. I bite my tongue before I can blurt out, "so you want to look like a contusion?" and help him find a purple shirt. It meets with approval and we are on a roll, charging into the pants department where he finds a pair of sleek black pants and a black vest. I figure we are done and start pep stepping to the checkout (have I ever mentioned that I loathe shopping?) Rob pulls me up short with "But I still need a new hat." OK, we are led to the fedoras. He peruses them carefully and finally selects a gray one.
"Gray?" I ask feebley. (wondering as I hear the words coming out of my mouth WHY I feel compelled to even say this. . . ) "But honey you have a lot of colors going on and no other gray. Do you think you should change up your pants for gray?" He agrees.
Back to the pants department where 20 minutes later we unearth the one pair of 30/30 gray slacks in the entire dept.
The best part for me was checking out. (at so many levels because as i have all ready mentioned I despise shopping) But our clerk was an older woman and she looked at me, there with 2 of my handsome young sons who look nothing like me. And all she saw was a family. She commented on how handsome my son would look in what he had chosen. I said yes, and that all my kids now had their Easter outfits, though I had yet to get myself anything new.
"That's the way we moms are, " she answered smiling. "And we like it that way." She's right
We took the escalator to the mens dept. I asked Rob if he had a color in mind for his outfit. He nodded affirmatively. "Orange, " he announced. Um, orange? I explain that this is not really that Easter/spring kind of color. But gamely I find a selection of orange ties and show him. I suggest that perhaps one of these strikes his fancy and he can build the outfit around that pop of color. I give myself points for creativity.
And watch my teen pick out a lime green bow tie. Yes, really bright, really shiny lime green bow tie. Hmmmm. I ask what color shirt he envisions with this. Purple, he immediately responds. I bite my tongue before I can blurt out, "so you want to look like a contusion?" and help him find a purple shirt. It meets with approval and we are on a roll, charging into the pants department where he finds a pair of sleek black pants and a black vest. I figure we are done and start pep stepping to the checkout (have I ever mentioned that I loathe shopping?) Rob pulls me up short with "But I still need a new hat." OK, we are led to the fedoras. He peruses them carefully and finally selects a gray one.
"Gray?" I ask feebley. (wondering as I hear the words coming out of my mouth WHY I feel compelled to even say this. . . ) "But honey you have a lot of colors going on and no other gray. Do you think you should change up your pants for gray?" He agrees.
Back to the pants department where 20 minutes later we unearth the one pair of 30/30 gray slacks in the entire dept.
The best part for me was checking out. (at so many levels because as i have all ready mentioned I despise shopping) But our clerk was an older woman and she looked at me, there with 2 of my handsome young sons who look nothing like me. And all she saw was a family. She commented on how handsome my son would look in what he had chosen. I said yes, and that all my kids now had their Easter outfits, though I had yet to get myself anything new.
"That's the way we moms are, " she answered smiling. "And we like it that way." She's right
Monday, April 2, 2012
April Fools Day!
This is a day always filled with tricks and laughter in our house. Pizza for breakfast whcih I always act shocked when I remove from the oven. "NO!" Where is the blueberry coffee cake?" The kids decided to prank K by making pretend dog poop and placing it artfully on the kitchen floor. I truly think we are the ony people who ever went to Walm*rt and bought one and only one brown play dough! Back at home, with all the care that Michelangelo when sculpting David, they went to work. It was pretty funny and thankfully, K took it with good grace. Rob had his bed made in reverse while he was away yesterday, so that the pillow was down at the foot etc. He too thought it was funny. Clearly we are a zany crew.
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