Happy Birthday Rob June 2nd

Rob turned 22 yesterday.  It is hard to wrap my mind around that. The mom in me remembers the dinosaur themed birthday.  The year we had the bowling party with his friends.  The skateboard party and on and on. . But years have rolled by with increasing speed and he is a man now. And a good man.  No one is perfect and he certainly isn't but at the core, he is a just so good.  He is loving and caring.  Never will he be one for lots of words, but he is there showing his caring by the way he acts.  He's the kind of guy who gets his girl flowers just because.  Or who choses to make supper on a night he knows I have had a tough day.  Or who buys his brother and sister cool kicks because mean mom caps out the shoe budget at what I believe is a reasonable figure for growing feet! He is beloved by his siblings and we were all together to celebrate his day.  We had a lunch out at a restaurant of his choice and the meal was filled with lots of laughter and smiles and silliness.  (That is KC cracking up in one of the pictues and Fiona and Chet are laughing in a couple others.)  Lissa considers herself far too cool to giggle with abandon if there is a camera around!  It was special to be able to celebrate with Fiona here.

She and Lissa had a manicure first and Fi got her ears pierced after that.  So the lady folks were  all stylin by the time it came to lunch out to celebrate their brother.  After lunch we went home and had cake and gifts which left him a large part of the late afternoon and the evening to go and hang out with his friends.  Late that night he and his friends returned to our house for a campfire in the back yard.

The years have also woven birth and adoptive families together.  I always tag his first mother in the photos as well as the other first family members that I know.  I am friends (both IRL and via the internet with many of he and Fiona's first family but not all.) Those that I know continue the tagging of photos spreading news out to those in other states who want to know this child we share has grown, has thrived and is ready and eager to embrace all the world offers.

I feel lucky every time that we can celebrate with Rob.  I know that there are probably a finite number of such celebrations left to us.  He is fledging slowly but surely and is increasingly less consistantly available.  He has a wide circle of friends. He is a hard worker and I know in my heart that there will (and indeed, should) come a time when he will decide to take an apartment with a friend.  Someday birthday congratulations will be by computer and telephone so every moment we are able to celebrate together is precious to us all.  Happy birthday son.  Remember always that you are a most precious gift to your family and the world.

The pause before the. .

It is Wednesday night.  The house is cleaned (relatively) the numerous pies are baked.  The shells are made. The turkey is thawed. The cranberry sauce is made.  Tomorrow there will be more to do but by 1:30 or 2:00 p.m. the living room will be full of food, family and laughter.  Thanksgiving is one of my favorite times of the year. This year is a smaller gathering than most have been. My mom is staying in Maine; her partner is presently in the hospital and though improving, he will benefit from her presence. The kids godparents are visiting family in Texas this year and Fiona has opted to go to the Big City to have Thanksgiving with her cousin's family. So it is us and my in laws this year.  10 seems so small compared to our usual crowds, but I'll take it!

I love the way the kids pitch in. The living room has to be emptied of furniture to make room for tables.  There is vacuuming and baking and dip making and baking and flatware to polish and baking. . .  Truly we started at 8 a.m. and the last item for today was finished about 6 p.m. I don't often wish for a double oven but today it would have been pretty cool!

I love being enfolded in family.  Ironically Thanksgiving was not a favorite holiday when I was growing up.  It felt like a grownups gathering where I could not find a place for myself.  My family thought I should watch the Macy's parade, which I despised.  Ironically, KC adores the parade and that truly is his tradition of choice, every year. I love the way the things we cook remind me of experiences or people I love.  I love the way polishing my mother in laws flatware from Thailand makes me feel close to her, even though she died many years ago.  I love mixing my family's silver candlesticks into the decor and the things K and I have bought together over the years.  I love to arrange my black angel holding the harvest basket near our cornucopia.  Somehow we have quilted together an amazing tapestry of family, friends and we are held together by love.

This weekend launches the season of festive craziness.  Tomorrow night I am Black Friday shopping with friends.  We are gathering at 11 p.m. so hopefully i have time to nap for a couple hours before we head out but we shall see.  Then on Friday we decorate our house for Christmas.  Rob does not have to go into work till 2 and this is the only day we will ALL be home together until--well, probably Christmas.  So it is important to me that we decorate together that day.  Rob is the guy who always gets our tree up and put together just so.  And Chet will help decant the 11 totes of decor from the attic so we can get festive.  After that I hope to nap a bit as that evening the kids and my wife and I are going to see the play The Best Christmas Pageant Ever.  My wife really wanted to see this and I love theater so I was easily talked into it. It is the only night my wife has off, so that is why this to will jam up that time period.  But Saturday I can relax a bit and there is always coffee.  And Christmas music. 

Easter Eve

I've become a rather infrequent blogger, haven't I?   Many times it is because I mull things around in my head so long that by the time I have a chance to sit and actually tap out my thoughts---they feel redundant and like other bloggers have spoken with more clarity.

But today, I am taking a bit of time to write.  It is Easter weekend and Fiona is home for the weekend.  We have colored eggs, had her favorite supper and she and Lissa are presently cuddled on the couch watching a movie. It has been good.

Tomorrow morning my goal is to get everyone out of the house for 7:30 and take them to breakfast. This gives my wife time to hide the Easter clues that she writes for the kids so that they can do their basket hunt when we return from our UU church and she returns from a different UU church that she works for.

This is a very busy weekend and I am glad that I went to yoga this morning.  That hour, just for me, helped me feel relaxed and ready for the demands of the weekend. Well, demands is probably the wrong word. But juggling the emotional needs and mental health issues of my two eldest at a holiday time can be challenging. It can be stressful.  It is also paradoxically, a great joy.  I love when our family is together, building memories and sharing love.  So the vigelance and over planning is worth it, but a quiet reflective time before it, also did not come amiss.

At the closing meditation our instructor always gives us a word of the day. Previous words have been things like "inspire" "wisdom" "kindness."  Todays was family. How apt.

Derby Day and Fledging Chicks

Wasn't it only yesterday that I was helping the kids make egg carton tulips? I remember helping them parade into my wife's bedroom, the elders holding a cup of tea, another a tray with breakfast, the youngest with a platter of gifts and the home made flowers.  Now they are so much more grown up.  Gifts were gift cards and things they purchased on their own--though two of them still made hand made cards.

It wasn't that her celebration was any less heart felt or meaningful.  But it was suddenly so different.  They can help cook, and in some cases totally cook on their own.  We are still needed but in different ways.  Most of the chicks are in various stages of fledging.

We see this too in the way long time family traditions have been changed or tweaked a little in recent years.  For instance, the Kentucky Derby is huge for me and I have always celebrated it   We made hats for years and we always have a special Derby cake and eat in the living room watching the race.  We each choose our horse to root for and then cheer and yell like crazy people all through the race. My mom watches up in Maine and always calls us afterwards to see who we rooted for and share thoughts on the race and that years field of 3 year olds.

One year Rob's friend was at our house during the Derby and he got in the action, making a hat, choosing a horse etc.  This year I saw him at church and he said he thought of us yesterday, and still remembered how much fun that was and that he wished he was with us.

This year though, Rob had to work during the Derby.  The restaurant though was having a Derby event (odd for our New England community) and he got a glimpse of the line up of horses while he worked.  Just before the race went off, he texted me his pick! I texted him ours and at least through the magic of smart phones we were still connected at a moment that is special to us.

I can see more changes up ahead for us.  Rob likely graduates next year and at that point he hopes to sign on to work for a cruise ship.  KC is entering Coming of Age and stands at the threshold of the teen years.  Lissa is only 9 but is a 9 going on 19.  (smile)  Seriously older than her years, they are all increasingly independent and ready and eager to challenge the world.

I am glad for that.  It is what we want for our kids, for them to charge out into the world with enthusiasm for change and the skills to make a difference.  But it is poignent too as some Mothers Day will be a card in the mail, or maybe a text or a call.  Some Derby day in the not so very far off future will be me sitting there watching, enjoying and remembering these days. And I'll be missing egg carton tulips.

Tree Time

Today we decorated our tree for Yule.  Rob always get the tree together. (2 have allergies to real trees so we are a family who always use artificials)  Kirsty always puts on the lights. Then the kids and I decorate.  Every year the kids get an ornament from my mom.  I love watching their faces when they open them.  I love listening to them chatter about their memories as they hang ones from previous years.  We do not have a designer tree.  I did, long long ago.  But as our family grew, the focus of the tree changed.  It was not a testimony to my holiday decorating prowess.  It was a repository of our collective experiences, memories and dreams.   I love this, but I was also thinking today that I wonder what our tree will be like in 10 years or so?  The kids will have fledged and likely will take their ornament collections with them, hopefully to start new traditions in their own households.  Our tree will be needing to be re-thought and re-imagined. It is hard to picture what that could be.  But for now, our star shines brightly and our house rings with laughter and all ready the thrum of anticipation that the holidays bring.

Celebrations small and large

Celebrations are the markers in life. The puncuation points that make us smile when we look back and remember. . .

May baskets are like that for me, because I remember watching in awe as my grandmother made zillions of these when I was a child.  I was 8 or less when I watched her do this as she passed away when I was 9, but it is such a vivid memory.  Hers were much fancier than mine and there were lots more of them.  That's okay.
What makes it okay is that I passed on the tradition to my kids, who love the secrecy around delivering May baskets and trot around to friends and neighbors dropping them off.

Another celebration in our house is Derby Day.  This is truly a "holiday" in our house and we make silly hats and pretend we are all stylish like the spectators at Churchill Downs.  Then we picnic in the living room and watch the first leg of the Triple Crown together.  If anyone dares visit, they too must agree to wear a hat and watch and join the picnic  LOL  (and they have!)

What I love is that my kids remember these things without me.  They came to me this week with the list of folks to get May baskets and KC reminded me we needed to get hat supplies for this weekend.  I love that even small things matter to them and that maybe they will choose to bring these traditions to their own families as adults.  Or, if they don't, that they will know the importance of joyful moments together and craft their own celebrations.

The memory file

  This is our memory folder.  It is just a sleeve we made years ago and hang in the kitchen near a big stack of 3 x 5 cards.  As things happen during the year, we grab a card, jot a sentence or two about the event or experience, and if you are anyone but me, you probably remember to date your entry.  I seem to be fairly unable to remember the dating of the entry with any degree of consistancy.  Every year, we just put the new year on the front of the folder.  This year I printed out numbers  using my scrapbook program and had them without color on the inside.  Each kid took a number and decorated it using the Zentangle concept any way they chose.  Something we did differently from traditional Zentangle was to incorporate color, but the end result is fantastic.  I love how they are all unique and yet flow together.  

It is fun to look back at the things that are important to us over the years. Entries are pretty varied, camping trips, lost teeth, training wheels coming off, piano recitals, hair cuts, spills off bikes, rainbows.  I wonder what memories we will treasure from this year?

Happy New Year

Happy New Year everyone!  May 2014 be filled with joy, challenges and new experiences for all.  We said farewell to 2013 last night with all the kids and Drew, Rob's best friend.  His parents and sister were away so he asked if he could hang with us.  I am never upset over having an extra kid or two (or three) in the mix.  And the idea of anyone being 19 and alone on New Years Eve was too sad to contemplate.  Drew has many similarities to my Chet, though he functions at a higher level.  Making the leap into adulthood has been hard for Drew and he is working hard to find a place for himself in that new role.  Yet in many ways, he is still a kid--loving to have wii battles with KC as much as hang with Rob.

We had apps for supper, themed to represent different regions of the US.  Every year we try new recipes and this year was no exception. Rob found a killer corn chowder recipe.  It is really really good and will definately be made again.  Pioneer Woman again rose to the challenge with salted pita crisps and a hot black eyed pea dip that Rob and I kind of shamelessly pigged out on.   There were french bread pizza slices with a variety of toppings and tiny taco bites.  All easy to eat, all yummy.

The kids did a lot of video games till about 10 and then we started watching Times Square.  At midnight we toasted with sparkling cider, Drew's parents called to wish him happy new year, Rob texted his girl friend and we all hit the hay.

Today,  I suspect that I will spend the majority of the day keeping tired littles from having giant attacks of the crankies.  But I am still enjoying the day.  As Rob steps ever closer to adulthood, I am keenly aware that some of these experiences will change in the near future. Next year,  we may be getting a call on New Years Eve or New Years Day, instead of hanging out with him playing guitar hero.

Fun with Fiona!

Fiona got here just about 2 p.m. and we have had a lot of fun.  We colored eggs. Not just my kids, but also the little kid next door who wanted to be in on it too.  I think he will get to color them at home but I am not one to send a plaintive looking face away and I had a big old bowl of eggs all boiled, so he joined in.

After that I thought we would decorate the Easter bunny house which in an ideal world will be our centerpiece tomorrow.  Or not, as we have not yet done it.  KC and Fiona saw an empty box and came up with an idea of turning it into a puppet theater.  All the kids worked on it for ages, divvying up the work of painting and "set building."  There are little popsicle stick puppets and they will put on a show later--most likely tomorrow when all the glue and paint dry.

While I helped here and there with that, I also made dough for cinnamon buns for tomorrows breakfast, and a cake for tomorrows dessert. After I finish this I am putting together a side of mac and cheese to go with the veggie chikn, sauteed spinach with garlic, roasted potatos and corn.  We will sip sparkling cider and end with the cake.  I am getting as much as possible done today as my wife works tomorow a.m. and the rest of us have church.

It is beyond my ability to really articulate the joy of having Fiona home for a holiday.  It feels soooooo good.

Getting ready for Thanksgiving

I love Thanksgiving!  Ironically, I did not love it as a child.  I remember being expected to watch the Macys Parade on TV and being b.o.r.e.d to tears.  Ironically in a supreme twist of cosmic humor, my kids adore watching this parade and it is a part of the holiday tradition that they look forward to each year.  KC researches what the floats will be and can't wait to have Aunt Lynne arrive so she can cuddle with him while they watch for Santa at the end of the parade!

There are other traditions too.  The cornucopia above is on the side board throughout November.  KC and Lissa are responsible for arranging the display as they see fit.  They always do a really good job and even if they didn't, it would still be theirs to do because that is how they will learn color and balance and make memories.

I did not take pics of the turkey place cards they made out of foam either.  It is another family tradition for them to do this each year.  It isn't always turkeys, it is whatever seasonal thing sparks our fancy each year. We have stamped gold acorns and oak leaves on cardstock, made indian corn out of cardboard etc.  Nothing hard or elaborate as they have to make about 12 of them and for kids, that is a lot!

And then there are things that become tradition in their yearly use.  There is my grandmothers silver candlesticks that we use as part of the centerpiece each year.  The while plates with the white on white pattern that my wife and I bought years ago dress the table.  And the flatware above is polished by yours truly each year and used for the meal. This flatware was my mother in laws and comes from Thailand where my FIL was stationed many years ago.  K and her family lived there for several years when she was very young.  


As I was polishing the forks and such tonight it occured to me that I never talked about Thailand with my mother in law.  I "knew" their years there from K and never thought to seek out her perspective and her story.  I am sure it was a different story--that of a young wife and mother living in a foreign country. And now, I can't hear that story as she died far too young, when we all thought we all had much more time and many more chances.

I am reminded that my children also have stories.  Stories we have made together.  They also have stories of their lives before me.  Some I have been lucky enough to become the keeper of.  I have every scrap of info that i could ever find for each of my kids carefully recorded in scrapbooks.  They have access to them any time they want and we often look at them together.  But they also have stories that are as lost as the stories of my inlaws years in Thailand.  Things that happened or people who may have touched their lives in some way that I know nothing about. Despite my best efforts some of these things, are gone and unless we make a connection with first family members, are not likely to become shiny polished parts of their lives.  There will be empty places where they know something should be, but don't know what it is or where to find it.

That is why I am passionate about keeping connection with all the people who care about my kids--first family members, friends etc.  There can never be too many people who care about your children.  Just keep drawing the circle wider to enfold them all.  And tell the stories, and make the memories.

It's tradition. . .

 Today is Derby Day!  It is also Cinco De Mayo and under other circumstances, we would have feasted on tacos, and listened to Mexican music.  But in our house, the Derby trumps just about everything.  See way back, my "career path" was to be the first female jockey to win the Run for the Roses.  Except I went and got tall. Way tall for a jockey.  And so I am an "arm chair jockey" every year for the Triple Crown races.  I am lucky enough to have seen a number of triple crown wins.  My kids never have.

For the past few years, we have made silly hats, kind of a take off on the extravagent headwear one sees in the stands on Derby Day.  Some were animal shaped, some were garishly loaded with artificial flowers, etc.  But this year, I thought the kids were probably past that.  They helped me plan the layout of the cake pictured above (where Butterscotch is beating Brownie by a furlong). And I figured that and our sweet tea and picnic supper by the tube would be our Derby celebration.

Then Rob--my soon to be 16 year old said "aren't we making hats?" 

See, what we can lose sight of when trying to balance our kids burgeoning "coolness" and sense of individuality, is that it is also the traditions of family life which give them the strength to push against us and find their own path.  It gives security, and something to build on.

So off we went to the craft store.  We found ball caps. And duct tape in wild colors.  We found fabric markers and stencils.  And crazy hats were created and worn.   And photographed for posterity.   

Hoppy Easter!

It is 7:30 a.m. and my tribe is outside playing with their new Easter stuff.  The neighbors are going to love us! LOL  They woke at 5:30 ish and I held them at bay till quarter to 6.   Then lightly breakfasted them and the hunt was on!  At our house the Easter Bunny leaves each person clues and these are hidden in colored plastic eggs. Every person has their own color of egg to hunt for, minimizing the chance of someone taking the wrong clue.  Lissa's clues are pictures at this point, but the older kids have written rhymes.  There is very little candy left by the bunny here.  Each basket for everyone but Chet had bubble wands, jump ropes, and an outside ball.  A football for Rob, soccer ball for Lissa and a volley ball for KC. Oh and they each had squishy bunny toys. Chet got peeps and some jewelry.

Hopefully they will all burn off some energy as we don't leave for church until 10ish!  I love the laughter and the excitement though.  They are so darn funny to watch and listen to.

Shopping with Rob

A week or ten days ago, I asked Rob if he wanted to get "fancy" clothes for Easter. He has always wanted to dress up in the past but now I live with a teen who wears skinny jeans, thinks belts should be worn BELOW the belt loops and ones boxers are an um fashion statement! LOL  So I wasn't surprised when he said no, and chose to order a buffalo plaid shirt that was festive only because it was yellow and black.  However this order on the internet appears to be coming rather literally on the slow boat from China and not likely to arrive in time for Sunday. So when KC's suit arrived on Thursday night, Rob finally realized. . . that he wanted a stylish look too. He watched KC strutting around in the suit and fedora, took me aside and said quietly "I want to look kind of like that."  So off we went to his favorite retailer. The one with the red star for those who shop with teen boys and truly want to know! LOL

We took the escalator to the mens dept. I asked Rob if he had a color in mind for his outfit.  He nodded affirmatively.  "Orange, " he announced.  Um, orange?  I explain that this is not really that Easter/spring kind of color.  But gamely I find a selection of orange ties and show him.  I suggest that perhaps one of these strikes his fancy and he can build the outfit around that pop of color.  I give myself points for creativity.

And watch my teen pick out a lime green bow tie.  Yes, really bright, really shiny lime green bow tie.  Hmmmm.  I ask what color shirt he envisions with this.  Purple, he immediately responds.  I bite my tongue before I can blurt out, "so you want to look like a contusion?" and help him find a purple shirt.  It meets with approval and we are on a roll, charging into the pants department where he finds a pair of sleek black pants and a black vest.  I figure we are done and start pep stepping to the checkout (have I ever mentioned that I loathe shopping?)  Rob pulls me up short with "But I still need a new hat."  OK, we are led to the fedoras.  He peruses them carefully and finally selects a gray one.

"Gray?" I ask feebley.  (wondering as I hear the words coming out of my mouth WHY I feel compelled to even say this. . . )  "But honey you have a lot of colors going on and no other gray.  Do you think you should change up your pants for gray?" He agrees. 

Back to the pants department where 20 minutes later we  unearth the one pair of 30/30 gray slacks in the entire dept. 

The best part for me was checking out.  (at so many levels because as i have all ready mentioned I despise shopping)  But our clerk was an older woman and she looked at me, there with 2 of my handsome young sons who look nothing like me.  And all she saw was a family.  She commented on how handsome my son would look in what he had chosen.  I said yes, and that all my kids now had their Easter outfits, though I had yet to get myself anything new.

"That's the way we moms are, " she answered smiling.  "And we like it that way."  She's right

The Lucky Leprecaun Art Gallery Showing!

Our "art gallery" has been up all month. The kids love doing this and truthfully, I like looking at a years worth of their special art on the walls, tables, etc.  They had one gallery showing with my mom when she was down and had also invited their god parents.  They are busy folks and were not able to come until this past Sunday afternoon.  The littles were so excitd, it was a riot watching them prepare.  KC and Lissa had decided that we needed to have cookies and iced tea with the tea party play set for refreshments, so I threw some cookies in the oven right after we got home from church.  Thank goodness I make dough ahead!  LOL  We made some raspberry iced tea, which is the tea party favorite until it gets hot enough for fresh lemonade.  Then the two littles went to the front window and sat watching for their god parents to arrive.  Thankfully there were also some entertaining squirrels while they waited and the wait was not long, but they were so cute curled up there watching and chattering to each other.

G and W are sweet wonderful people who I am totally blessed to have in my children's lives.  They celebrate my children's joys and achievements and challenge them to do the best they can in a given situation. They admired the art and talked with the kids about their favorite pieces, and how they were made etc.  They extolled over the refreshments, and then spent time just talking with the kids.

That is a rare gift to children nowadays.  To just talk with out an agenda or purpose is not so common.  The gallery will close this weekend after the artists eac h pick a few of their most beloved pieces of art to save.  But the memories will remain and next year, I look forward to looking at another showing of snapshots of their interests and their interpretations of their world.

Top o' the Evening to you!

It has been a busy week at our house.  K is under the weather with a very bad cold that morphed virtually instandly into some type of  hideous triple infection. (sinus, throat and ear)  I have thus far been spared and have been taking my immune supplements to try and make sure it stays that way.  However, I have had a 3 day migraine going and I am about done with feeling like my head is going to fall off.  Or wishing that it would. 

Still I have managed to work--though I must look like death by the comments people make.  LOL  And the weekend beckons with a visit from the wee folk tonight.  They seem to like to play tricks at our house and leave a bit of joy behind for the wee folk who live here.  I have only the teeniest smidge of Irish in me but I adore St. Patricks Day.  Tomorrow we will make some kind of shamrocky treat for dessert to have with supper.  And all the kids will get small bags of gold chocolate coins from K and I.  

Rob is off at rehearsal for the church Youth Sunday service.  He has a couple of roles in the service and we had a bit of teen angst this week over things.  His girl friend called and wanted him to do something with her on Friday night.  I said no becuase they were both committed to this rehearsal.  I don't know if  TongYa's parents  did not want to fight about it and told her to call and see if Rob's parents would let him go, or what.  But I am old school about committments.  You make it, you keep it, unless  you are dying or spilling body fluids all over the place.  LOL  Rob took it with pretty good grace, but I heard through the grape vine that his gf was pretty annoyed.  Ah well. 

Then our black kitty Valkyrie escaped outdoors this a.m. and hasn't been seen since.  Val has been a house cat since she came to us last June.  A black cat outdoors at night is not a good thing. Especially when the weather is both foggy and rainy.  I do hope she comes home and is okay.  She is much beloved, and poor K feels horrible because the cat escaped on her.  She hasn't really shown an interest in going out either so it is all a bit odd to say the least.

My mom is coming down for a visit this weekend--and to go to church with us on Youth Service Sunday and hear Rob play the prelude.  The kids are really excited.  The littles and I put together a gingerbread bunny house from a kit tonight.  It will harden up over night and then tomorrow they can decorate it with Nana.  Much goo and sugar, it will be fun!

The husband of a friend of mine is in the hospital right now.  He has had what appear to be unexplained seizures for over a year now.  Numerous hospitals and medical tests up the wazoo have yielded nothing but today for the first time a much longer battery of tests revealed some seizure activity.  It sounds weird to feel that this is helpful, but they have been so frustrated and frightened and in the dark for so long.  And it all makes my migraine very petty and pale by comparison!

Time to Shoot a Groundhog!

That pesky groundhog saw his shadow yesterday and not even the warm fires of Imbolc candles could help me forget that there will be 6 more weeks of winter!  I know that is all very silly as the part of the country where I live pretty much ALWAYS has 6 more weeks of winter.  And our winter has not been of the snowy magnitude of last yeasrs where our snow fall topped over 60 inches.  But I am just eager for warmer temps.  We have had a few teaser days, but last evening when the gang picked me up at work, there were snow showers.

However, despite the  groundhog, this should be a fun weekend.  Saturday evening, Rob has a sweet 16 party to go to for his girlfriend.  She told him he should wear dress shoes which cracked me up as Rob is king of the stylin' sneakers. So last night at his request, we went out looking for dress shoes.  And wound up laughing our heads off as he tried on pair after pair.  We found shoes that fit, but none that seemed like his style.  I finally said that maybe T. would not mind a nice pair of stylish sneaks. And we found a pair that don't really look sporty, but are silvery gray and have a nice sheen to them and which looked good on him.  So that will be what he wears to T.'s party tomorrow.  He has purchased a lovely locket for her so he has the gift all ready all covered.  While I helped Rob, the littles amused themselves with socks.  My kids love socks.  So we also left with a packet of brightly colored tie dye socks and a packet of socks with flowers on them. 

Fiona continues to improve but is still hospitalized at this point.  I am hoping she is back at the Great School by next week. 

And our van not only flunked inspection but has copious things wrong with it. We thought it was just the muffler system but that is as they say, the tip of the ice berg.  There were also 2 leaks from oil or coolant (I forget which) and one was leaking onto the exhaust manifold and could have caused a fire while we were driving.  Since in April, K is part of a van caravan of kids from our church to NYC for a weekend retreat, that was scary news.  There is something else wrong too but my ear flaps folded over and my eyes glazed by that time as the damages are all together nearly 2K.  Yipes!

December is always a blur in my life.  I am glad that we have a tradition of writing memories on 3 x 5 cards to share the last week of the month as I would definately forget important things otherwise.  Much of the busy-ness is truly wonderful.  I am a person who adores celebrating.

Last night was Solstice night and that is a big deal in our house.  We eat in near darkness with only glowsticks and candles and some lights around our dining room window to remind us of cold starry nights. We honor the changing of the season and the fact that the wheel of the year will begin to turn again and light is slowly going to return to our world.  When I came home, KC and Lissa were busy with last minute preparations and "finding something festive" to wear.  (their actual word choice)  KC settled on his star covered shirt and a pair of jeans, and Lissa chose the sparkly dress Fiona gave her for Christmas last year.

The night before was the first night of Hannukah.  We are not Jewish but my kids have Jewish friends and love to play the driedel game.  Also our religion honors Judaism as one of our great sources and the story of Hannukah and Passover are things that our religion explains.  At any rate, every year, we have to play a game of driedel after supper on the first night of Hannukah. 

In a day and a half I will be on vacation  until after the first of the year. This too is cause for celebration as although I have always loved my work, my restructured duties are boring in the extreme and I no longer look at the work before me with enthusiasm as I feel I have become a data entry clerk.  No slams at data entry clerks, it is just that  my duties were more far ranging and interesting to me previously. But my new employers like to compartmentalize and I drew the data box I guess! LOL

But in the midst of the December crazies, I read a post last night from a friend far off in TX. They have recently moved there and his wife just had a very serious heart attack and is in a coma.  I can't imagine being in a new location, without even a permanent address yet, and having my soul mate so ill. It makes complaining about data entry petty, and the gift of my  December bustle even greater.

A shoebox full of joy

It takes a special brand of insanity fortitude to take my whole tribe shopping at once!  But I pretty much have it down to a science and though I am sure the various retailers are thrilled to see us leave, we do get through the stores for holiday shopping with minimal issues.

It is hardest of course, for Chet, who is over stimulated by the flashing lights, the music, the crowds, essentially ALL of Yuletide.  Lissa is kind of up there too in the easily stimulated arena, but Rob and KC are thankfully not.  Todays shopping trip focussed on birthday and Yule gifts for Fiona, Christmas gifts for K from the older boys, gifts for the "Shoebox Project" at church and the supplies KC needed for a gift he wanted to make for K for Yule.  I like to take it in small chunks when I do this holiday thing, don't I?  LOL

We tackled Fiona's gifts first and found pretty sweaters, a fancy hoodie with faux fur around the hood, a sparkly scarf and some cute jewelry.  Those were all fine, but KC was determined to get her a locket because he felt she should have a picture of us from one of our visits that she could always wear close to her heart.  The only locket we could find that fit his vision (it HAD to be heart shaped and it HAD to be silver) was more than I would ever normally have a sibling spend.  But the sincerity of his desire to do this and the maturity of seeing what she would need outweighed the fact that his piggy bank sure did not have this much cash in it.  He can pay me in chores and I know he will.  We got the locket and now we have to figure out how to shrink one of our pictures down and print it for inside of it.

We did K next and that went pretty easily. Oh and I also was (you can laugh here) helping Chet buy his gift for me.  Chet and K have been oil and water these days and with his aforementioned over-stim situation, it seemed better for me to do this.  He doesn't stress me out the way he does K.  I set some guidelines by showing him 3 things I liked and then told him to make his decision from those things and pay for it while I was elsewhere so that I would not know his final decision.  My goal in this was to try and make sure I did not get another 3X hoodie since I am a size 5! LOL  I asked Rob to circle back and check on things when I was not in the aisle and he did and reported that all went well.

Once we got back together it was time to buy gifts for an 8 to 12 year old boy who is in a shelter in Maine.  Rob spent Columbus Day weekend there with our church youth group and bonded with an 8 year old boy there.  In Rob's mind, we were buying for that particular boy. I  have not a clue that he will actually receive our specific box, but didn't honestly feel that I needed to burst that bubble for Rob.  I think he thinks a lot about that boy and that he weighs on his heart a bit.  If it helps Rob to believe he gets this box, so be it.  And who knows, maybe he will.  We all picked out things for the box.  It is fun to see how much we can fit in a shoebox.  We fit, craft scissors, glue sticks, glitter sticks, crayons, markers, 2 pair of gloves, a card game of pictionary, a game called Toss Up, Silly Putty, clay, a Transformer, and an action figure. I figured out last year that you fit the most things by taking everything out of its cardboard and shrink wrap and packing in that way.  I loved watching the kids all take part in deciding what to get and knowing that someone will have a brighter Christmas because of what we did.

From there we went to get printer ink because we need to take the kids holiday picture so I can mail out my cards. I tried to take their picture when we got home and either I was VERY jittery after taking them all shopping or the anti wiggle feature got turned off by a gremlin again.  (I suspect the latter as the kids all use the camera as well.)  I could have screamed as it was a cute shot, but it is way too unfocussed.

Then we went to the craft store and  I scored a couple of craft kits for Fiona and KC got the suppies to make his gift for K.  He literally has drawn out diagrams of what he wants to make for people and he sat down and did hers the minute we got home.  The kid amazes me.

Actually, they all amaze me.  They give freely of their hearts and their talents and that is all any mom could ask for.

Strollin' in the Holiday

Yesterday was our community's annual Holiday Stroll.  This is such a fun event. For the afternoon, there is almost a small town feel to our mid sized city as businesses throw open their doors and invite the public in for cookies, hot cocoa, crafts etc.  Because we live only a half mile from town, I always walk the kids down. Traffic gets blocked off and pedestrians wander at will through the various shops, displays and events. 

Usually the weather is not too cooperative.  Last year it was frigidly cold and i remember explaining to Lissa that I would not stand in line in the cold for 45 minutes so she could ride a pony. LOL  The year before that we had slushy snow and rain.  This year, the goddess graced us with blue skies and mild temps. Also, having done the stroll for a bunch of years now, I have a feel for how the events generally will run (there is some variation year to year but also some standbys).  This helps me hit the things that seem to matter most to the kids.

The first thing we did was head to the bakery that gives out free cookies.  Except KC remembers that they make a cookie he adores that is of course, not free. So we bought that, and a cupcake and some kind of chocolate confection. Then we got in line for face painting and watched the Christmas parade go by while we were in line. From there, we wrote holiday messages to soldiers, letters to Santa, visited with Santa, played an indoor snowball fight, We watched chestnuts being roasted, heard carols being sung, and bought some hand made jewelry for gifting.

Nearly three hours went by in the blink of an eye and suddenly the sun was low in the sky and it was time to walk home.  I baked frozen pizzas in the oven and we had a 'dinner theater" in our living room watching a children's holiday movie.  Doesn't get better than that!

Thanksgiving reminiscence

Thanksgiving.  While I understand my wife's position that every day should be a thankful day and one day devoted to thanks, eating and football is not necesssary, I respectfully disagree.  I adore thanksgiving.  I love the coming together of family.  The jokes, the noise the hubbub.  I love polishing the flatware that my mother in law got in Thailand many years ago when they were stationed there.   I love polishing my mom's silver candlesticks and tenderly washing my grandmothers serving bowl.  I love decorating a pretty holiday table and adding our things--pretty napkin rings and the dinnerware to those things that have come down through the generations. 

It's not so much about the food for me, honestly.  Lots of the food is stuff I would not eat.  Yams that have been tortured in syrup in a can don't rock my world.  But for  my brother in law, who I love dearly, they ARE thanksgiving and must be present! Turkey is something I have not eaten in about 25 years.  But I'll walk a mile for my own home made parker house rolls and I am guessing the rest of those gathered would too as there were only 2 left at the end of the meal!

I love watching the kids hanging out with aunts and uncles and their Pop Pop .  Rob sharing his music, KC cracking jokes, Chet chiming in and Miss Lissa being the diva princess as only a 4 year old girl can be.  I feel very blessed.