Thursday, March 19, 2009

The Good the bad and the Gimpy

Ok the good. Chet hasn't smelled in quite a few days so the re-training of shower behaviors must be working! Either that or (sigh) the cold thing I am fighting is rendering me insensitive to even the reek that he is capable of when not bathing properly. I am looking at this positively though and hoping it is door number 1!

The gimpy--Lissa is walking in a halting, unbalanced sort of fashion. I called our Drs office this a.m. Kirsty has severe laryngitis at the moment and it was easier for me to call. The funny part is though that because I never go to the doctor they didn't recognize my name, didn't know I was a patient etc. Pretty much my only physicals as an adult involved adoptions and since our youngest has been finalized for a couple years, they haven't seen me much! However they did remember Elisabeth and Kirsty and when they heard that she was not walking normally they immediately said they would order new x-rays at our local hospital and I could take her there directly. I took my lunch break immediately and brought her up.

I have to say that the radiology tech was way more with it than the one I saw two Saturdays ago. He spent considerable time lining up the machine to get the best possible films and seemed to really know what he was doing. He also had me take off her cloth diaper which the first tech told me to leave on. So maybe we will find something out and i will stop stressing. I keep agonizing over this; I think in large part because Lissa can't impart enough info to me for me to feel I am informed on what is going on . I have kept up doing the healing hands nightly and I have seen improvement from that as well. Can't tell my Dr. that though. Venturing into the land of woo-woo with a very straight western med establishment is not really a cool experience. You get the look that makes you think you have three heads for starters! But my feeling is that it is not hurting her and I have seen it benefit others so why not try it. Even my wife who is waaaay not into the land of woo woo (laughing here) let me do this when she tore all the ligaments in her ankle years ago and the doctors said they saw less bruising in the ankle than they should have given the scope of the injury.

The bad--Okay to omnivores this is going to sound stupid. But I am a vegetarian of 20+ years and so trust me to me this is not small .This is not petty ;this is not stupid. Every Tuesday after music class my family goes to Friendlys for a brunchy lunchy thing. They have waffles or pancakes or french toast. Every single week. Except this week Kirsty ordered them all chicken. In all its various fried forms. It came out at our St. Patricks day party Tuesday night. Something of a dampener to the Irish festivities. My non Irish eyes were sure not smilin! They still aren't. We haven't been able to talk this through because of her laryngitis. When she gets throat infections it is very tough on her vocal chords. This will I am sure be a lengthy conversation and presently after word #5 she has no voice. So for now it is the elephant in the room between us.

I am angry and hurt. We discussed vegetarianism years ago when we were becoming parents. We agreed mutually that the kids would be vegetarian like me and would choose if they wish to become omni when they are adults. Kirsty understands and agrees with vegetarianism in theory (and most of the time in practice). She is up on knowledge about the health bennies to living a vegetarian lifestyle. She herself typically eats meat once or twice a month but doesn't serve it here at home.

My kids have never asked for meat. Haven't acted deprived in any way. If KC did ask for chicken at the restaurant, he meant the kind of analogue we use here which looks surprisingly real. I always just tell him if a restaurant doesn't have veg chicken that they don't have the kind we eat and he is cool with it.

We rarely disagree profoundly on anything to do with our kids. I am not being smarmy; this is the honest truth. Part of that likely comes from all the homestudy work that adopting 4 kids engenders. I think way more conversations and soul searching take place in pre-adoptive couples than couples who have bio children but that is just my personal take on what I see with my own friends--definately not scientific analysis. So this has thrown me for the proverbial loop. And when I did say something to her about it the night I found out she said "oh shake it off." Which sounded so callous and like i was crabbing about unsorted laundry or something mundane. And I wasn't.

So I am left with feeling very angry with her and doing nothing about it because she is so ill at present. I hate waiting to discuss things. I hate going to bed at night feeling angry. So I hope her voice comes back and the rest of her good health so we can sort this out.

1 comment:

motherissues said...

Not being able to talk about things is THE WORST as far as I'm concerned and it definitely eats me up inside. (It's been making the rounds at our house too.)

I hope you're able to get your point across and come to an understanding on this. Sometimes I think it's easy to be hurt when your partner casually disregards something that's meaningful to you since shouldn't she just know and understand that? Or maybe that's just me! But I hope this is a situation where you can get consensus and move on quickly.