This has been a wearing sort of week. I am a pretty high energy person but my spirit energy is low tonight. Partly because work rotted this week. There has been work stress; partly from my superior and co-workers, partly from construction that is going on in the building.
There has been home stress. Ken's final illness has been much in my mind and I have worked out a day (next Thursday) for us to all visit with him. My mom consulted with the doctor and he said that at this point, Ken is not suffering any more pain than his normal arthritis and that there is no telling when that could change. I want this to be a good visit. A set of good memories for the kids to take with them into the future, and for Ken to take with him into the next phase of his journey.
Although he was never a father to me, he has been a truly wonderful grandfather to all my children. In so many quiet ways, he has been a huge part of their lives, despite the fact that his body's strength was all ready failing from the first times that he entered our lives.
Tonight our next door neighbor caught my wife outside. It seems that the director of the preschool my eldest attended has inoperable brain cancer. I haven't seen Pam in many years but she was a wonderful educator. Vibrant. Creative. Compassionate. Her preschool was pretty much the best public educational experience Chet had. I knew that she had sold her business recently but thought she had moved on to other endeavors.
In an odd twist of fate, the young man who lives next door with his fiancee and young son was also an alumni of this same pre-school. One of the former teachers of said school provides day care for his little boy. The former teachers are getting together a memory book for Pam and our neighbor had a letter for us asking for our contribution. I am a bit fuzzy on how our neighbors figured out that we were alumni of the school. But somehow the connections were made and I am grateful for that. I do remember writing Pam a thank you note when Chet moved from her preschool into kindergarten, but I firmly believe that you can never have too many opportunities to thank someone for the good they have done.
In some ways although it is sad to think of Ken's passing--my primary worry is that his passing be as painless as possible. He has had a rich and full life, as a minister, and as a beloved member of a large family. To think of Pam's passing is surreal. She is so much younger, and should have so much more life ahead of her.
I am glad to have a bit of family time to center myself a bit. Not that I spend time on mats doing yoga meditations! Saturday will be filled with family duties in the morning and in the afternoon I am taking the kids to our church to a recycled art activity/program. Lots of different artistic mediums to mess with and it should be lots of fun.
Sunday I have to take the day and do our taxes. Now there's active meditation for you! But all of this is the business of living, of family, of being that microcosm of the world. In a way that I can not describe that is healing and restorative.