Stretching and Re-Connecting

Rob was invited to spend last evening at a friends house last night. We met up with his friend and his mom at a central location as though Rob and Drew are very close as friends, geographically we are not so much so!  It is funny watching a teen get ready for an overnight.  Rob got his clothes together the night before.  This means the favorite skinny jeans were packed, the favorite sports jersey, his underwear and his deoderant and aftershave. He also remembered the Tshirt he has to wear on Sunday afternoons for his volunteer job.   Conspicuously absent?  Toothbrush.  Pillow.  Sleeping bag.  Pajamas.  Good thing I thought to check in with him as to what "all packed" actually meant. LOL

Rob is always pretty blase about leave takings.  It used to bother me when he was younger.  I thought it was a sign that he wasn't connected to us.  Hadn't bonded fully.  Would never bond fully.  Sometimes even someone with Pollyanna tendancies can obcess..But with the wisdom of hanging in there and just watching, I have learned this is not the case.  I'll give you tha t the leave taking habits do appear to be partly a result of adapting to situations of his past.  But, he also spends time reconnecting very positively when he comes home.  We met up at church this morning. 

I had brought him an iced coffee as that is usually something  he gets when I take the kids for their second breakfast on Sunday a.m.s  I had also brought him a lunch to eat at his volunteer job. His eyes lit up when he saw me and the coffee.  And I know he was happy about more than the caffiene jolt as he hung around with me for nearly 20 minutes before church started.  Not saying much; mostly wanting to re-hash highlights of the football game of the night before. But smiling, joking, and standing a little closer than is his usual.

And so, years into this parenting journey, I read the whole situation differently now.  I am grateful that he has the strength and courage to step out and leave us. And the courage to believe that we will be there when he returns.