Gay marriage is now possible in the state of Maine. I don't live in Maine but we do spend a lot of time there. My mom lives in Maine and though we are "from away" as Mainers say of folks who were not born and bred there, the state has a lot of appeal to my wife and I. It is one of those places where it is possible to find mountains to scale, as well as beautiful beaches. This combines both our passions and my wife has for many years dreamed of the two of us retiring to this lovely state. Though I personally would prefer a warmer clime, I could hack a retirement in Maine. I wouldn't have to sally forth at the crack of dawn to a job and therefore the colder times of winter would be less daunting to me. And I do love to snowshoe, and I love woodstoves. The idea of a log cabin where I had a woodstove to read beside again, sounds quite blissful. A place where I could be as off grid as possible is the ideal. And of course all of this is after I complete my personal retirement dream of hiking the Appalachian Trail from end to end. That is for the first 4 months of my retirement in case y'all are interested. Starts in Springer Mtn GA and ends in Maine on Mt Kathadin. Kirsty has serious foot and ankle problems and can't likely hike the whole thing but may do parts. At this point it is a far from solitary prospect as the kids all want to do it with me! She can meet us at way stations and resupply us and in her spare time, look for our retirement real estate!
But one of the things that has put Kirsty off on really hoping for her Maine retirement has been the fact that if we stay where we are, or go to one of several other states, we are legally married. This is not a status that we want to give up. I don't have to worry any longer about being able to make sure that her wishes are followed in the event of catastrophic illness. I like the fact that she is on my health insurance. I always had the family plan anyway to cover the kids, but she had to work and have "single person" coverage until 2004. I enjoy being able to say that she is my wife and to publicly honor the commitment that we have shared since 1978. Through hell or high water we have been together, been true to one another and honored the vows that we made personally that May.
My mom was sure that the bill would not pass. She is not really the family optimist. I am. I think that some day our marriage will not be unusual and will not be a subject of debate. Gradually I think people are seeing that our relationship and our committment does not threaten heterosexual marriages. And some day, it may not matter where we want to live at all. We will be viewed by society as married anywhere.
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3 comments:
Do read Bill Bryson at all? He hiked the Appalachian trail and wrote a brilliantly funny and intelligent book about it: Into the Woods.
I too hope that one day your marriage won't be at all uncommon and therefore treated as normal.
After some initial excitement, I'd gone back to being more bitter about my own state than hopeful each time another state flips into the marriage support column, but Maine was different. Just knowing that there are 5 out of 50 down -- not that it matters in terms of anything -- made a big difference to me emotionally. My Lee said she felt the same way. Things finally seem to be changing, and not just in Massachusetts!
I have a friend who hiked the Appalachian Trail as a senior project in college. It's not my thing thanks to a chronic pain condition, but I think it's great.
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