Homeschooling thoughts

From time to time I reflect on our decision to homeschool. The journey started many years ago when Chet was in 6th grade. Things were going so badly that the school while recognizing that they could not meet his needs, offered to provide us with curriculum including teachers editions when we tentatively broached the concept of homeschooling.

I come from a family of public school educators and sort of grew up thinking homeschooling was something done by fundamentalists of various religious groups. A concept that was further substantiated when we first started homeschooling. I tried to join a homeschool group that a coworker told me his sister ran in a nearby town. When I called her and it was revealed that we were a lesbian couple and most definately not Christian we were politely informed we would "not feel comfortable in their group." LOL

With Chet we sort of muddled along, feeling our way, offering him as much academic stimulation as his thirsty scientifically driven mind could handle, while simultaneously trying to practice the social situations where he was years and years behind peers. We hooked up with a wildlife sanctuary and they allowed him to chart bird populations and nesting habits and he presented his data at a gathering where everyone else was an adult. It all went surprisingly well but homeschooling was sort of a one shot deal to me. In my mind, Chet had unique issues which the existing school system could not address. I was tired of beating my head against the wall at myriad school meetings. IEPS galore were not getting him an education and I truly think there were not enough years left in his educational experiences for us to get the matter addressed.

Then along came Rob. He was all ready in public school and DSS wasn't really interested in homeschooling. When we asked about it in the most general of senses (thinking it would give more bonding time with him) they informed us that DSS "discouraged" homeschooling as it blurred the lines of parent and teacher and could make relationships more difficult to develop. We could see the rationale to that. Kindergarten in our city is only 1/2 day anyway so we went the public school route. He did all right for kindergarten and first grade but by grade 2 his PTSD in social settings was more noticable. Primarily I think this was because expectations rachet up very quickly once past the very earliest of grades. By grade 3 his teacher asked me at a parent meeting if we had ever "thought" of homeschooling him. I think she suggested this in part because we developed a week long study unit for Rob when we were in IL adopting KC. We didn't want him to have tons of make up work when we returned home so we created a unit that encompassed all his core subjects but focussed on the Chicago area and the work of Frank Lloyd Wright.

His teacher said that Rob was so quiet that he flew under the radar and she felt there were educational deficits which would be essentially overlooked in the increasingly crowded classrooms. The expectations for testing would increase and this had the potential for increasing his anxieties. So we began homeschooling Rob and found that indeed, some educational deficits all ready existed. He knew parts of things, just enough to answer a question partially and receive credit for participation, but didn't know things at a deeper level. For instance, if asked about an experiment "What happened to the water in our experiment?" He might volunteer something like "Some of the water disappeared." A teacher might typically then say to the class "and why did that happen?" not realizing that Rob hadn't a clue but knew that by offering that partial answer there would be an assumption made that he had more knowledge than he did. Rob didn't really mind leaving public school. The only areas he enjoyed were gym and recess!

Having been to the well of public education twice I am unlikely to return with our two youngest children. KC is all ready an avid learner. He loves math science art and reading. His thirst for knowledge is literally constant. Yesterday he amused himself on the dry erase board by figuring out that 6 and 7 equals 13. Really.

A Sunday paper in a large city not far from us ran an article on the accelerated demands on kindergarteners. They are now expected to do much more worksheet type work, to sit for longer periods and to have more testing readiness. There is some concern that these expectations, brought about by the No Child Left Behind initiative may be counter productive for a significant number of children. Since 5 year olds learn by play and manipulatives that seems like an understatement. An elementary school principal in a city where my father in law lives was quoted as having concerns for his own 5 year old entering kindergarten this year. What that says about the state of our educational system is even more telling than my own experiences.

I fall somewhere between unschooling and school at home. For instance my eldest literally needed the structure to mimic public school. Routines are his touch stone and to float with the whim of the day was terrifying and counterproductive.

With Rob, some structure and routine is needed because truthfully learning isn't his primary interest in life. While he doesn't really hate it, he also would not go out of his way to do anything educational either. He would read voraciously but fail to share with us when he didn't understand something so having a system for checking in and sharing is as important as the library visits that are a weekly event for us.

With KC I can see that I don't need even that level of structure. He just does it. The tools are there and he can't wait to get his hands and mind on them. He has music class weekly and will have dance classes and his church school class so he has lots of time with peers. Till the weather becomes truly horrid, we are always at the park every night. He has become a truly friendly child who has no qualms about going up and introducing himself to anyone he wants to play with.

Lissa is too young to know what her homeschool journey will be like. At 2 1/2 she is just becoming interested in a variety of art mediums and showing an increasing ability for more imaginative play. I suspect that she will become enthused by her brother and that though her learning style may be different, her enjoyment of learning will be as strong as KC's.

I suspect that if someone judged homeschooling if they only met Chet they would decide that only mal adjusted folks who didn't know manners and social cues were the end result. I suspect that if they judged the experience by Robbie they might conclude that clearly enough opportunities for socialization had not been available for the child. Both would be inaccurate as personalities are more complex than that. Disabilities are more complex than that. And if they met KC after they met either of his big brothers, it would totally debunk their theories. But it reinforces mine. We are all the sum of many parts, many experiences and we all have differing strengths and abilities.