A Moment of Honesty

Blog readers will know that Rob has some issues surrounding honesty. He exhibits what is often called "crazy lying". Lying in the face of all evidence (and even eye witness accounts) prove otherwise. So I truly, honestly and completely treasure each time he tells the truth. Because it tells me that at that moment in time, he feels safe. Because I think the lack of "safe" feeling is at the root of crazy lying for him. And much of the time, although he is happy and feeling a part of the family, he is waiting for us to prove to him that we are just like all the other bad adult experiences in his life. We have been a family for 7 years, and only recently, every once in a while do I see him show the courage and trust to tell the truth.

Last night he asked to ride his bike around the block. Sure, no problem. He got his helmet and bike and set off. And time went by. He should not have been gone all that long, but the minutes ticked by. I wondered mentally if he saw a friend and got yakking, forgetting the time. I began to envision darker things. Falling and seriously hurting himself, and worse. I can be, in moments like that, what we call an "extreme thinker" conjuring up all manner of possible problems. And I think I do that a lot with Rob because he also tends to freeze in emergency situations and I worry that he would not seek out help should he need it.

But just as I was ready to take the 2 youngest and start scouting, he came home. And immediately, came to find me and told me that his bike chain had broken and that was what took extra time. This was so huge. He sought me out on his own to tell me. There have been times when something similar happened and he just put the bike in the shed, pretending nothing was wrong with it. Then he would sit down at the table and pretend that he had been home for a while all ready and had been reading.

And he told me what appears to be the truth. (understand that I am fully cognizant that there may be a whole lotta info on how the chain broke that wasn't shared--I simply do not care!) So this morning we'll drop the bike off to get the chain fixed and even though it will cost some dollars, i am still so very happy!