I didn't know about blog stats for the longest time. I didn't know about "key words" either till I saw it on someone elses blog. So being innately curious I went to my blog and discovered that there were lots of "normal" key words that people used that found my blog. A word like family would be sort of logical! LOL There were some others that seemed normal too. Then there was one phrase that surprised me: "are adoptive children grateful?" And they found MY blog with that?
I know that I have spoken to a lot of people who think kids should be grateful. Truthfully I am sure a lot of the time that bio kids are not "grateful." I had as a child no real clear understanding of the hoops my mom went through with my dad to try and get me certain experiences. I did know that usually my grandfather paid for them. I was glad certain things happened, excited certain things happened. But I am not sure grateful was really an accurate description. And in reality there were a lot of things I wanted to try and do that never happened. Sometimes it was financial, sometimes there were other issues at play in our family dynamics that precluded it. So it isn't like I always got to do what I wanted and was jaded by all the largesse in my life.
I think it is really just a kid thing. Kids have a pretty small frame of references for their life experiences. They haven't had to budget, to decide how to juggle finances to offer a certain opportunity. I don't expect gratitude. I do want them to participate fully in whatever they have elected to do--because those choices are fully theirs--and to see whatever it is through to completion.
Today we got Rob a new bike. His bike was stolen last summer under slightly murky circumstances while he was at the local school shooting hoops. I told him then that I didn't have money to replace the bike then and as summer was almost over we agreed to take care of it in the spring. I am still not fully certain of the circumstances but felt then, and feel now that there was a component of responsibility for the incident on me. It didn't occur to me that he should lock his bike while he was there and I had not suggested doing so. Thus, someone made off with a pretty nice bike and we both learned a lesson. Today we went and got the new bike. Rob picked out the biggest lock system I have ever seen for a bike. It is a combination lock AND a key lock. LOL He thanked me for the bike in the car on the way home and then took off on his new ride right away. That's about all the gratitude I really need!