Feeling Blue

I am blue today.  That is fairly unusual for me; I usually brim with optimisim.  I don't know what the deal is. Work seems overwhelming.  Being away from my office for a whole week was a classic good thing/bad thing.  I know it is healthy to relax and decompress, but then I literally have to spend a whole week revving myself up to the go-go-go pitch that is my work speed these days.  Don't get me wrong, I am glad I have a job.  I enjoy the industry I work in.  But the work load has probably easily tripled and it is very hard to figure out what is the "hot" action item in a sea of seemingly all "get it done now" projects.

It is also December 1st and it was on December 1st 14 years ago that we found out my MIL had terminal cancer.  I will never forget the hysterical sobs as my wife called me at work and choked out the news.  I will never forget how helpless I felt in the whole situation.  Helpless is another one of those things I don't do well. I like to fix. I like to be orderly and  yes, in charge.  Don't ask for much in life do I?

So whatever the cause of the blahs tonight I am determined to think of the positives. Because there are a lot of them.  Like Rob, who is pictured above.  Rob who is out on his second date with a really nice young woman he met at our church youth group. She is his first real girl friend and he has fallen hard.  He is growing up so much these days.  Saturday he interviews for a volunteer position at a local natural history museum.  He is stepping out and testing his wings and I love that!

And there are KC and Lissa who dance and sing and perform their little hearts out every evening after supper.  Who can remain blue when someone is tap dancing in the front hall of their home with a large fake candy cane as a prop?

And Chet.  Sometimes it is hard to know when you have made an impact with Chet.  Autism blunts many of his responses so it is hard to know what he is doing because he memorized that "this" was the appropriate response to "that" situation.  But yesterday he spoke with me about things we did at Yule when he was little. It was just neat to me that he remembered.

My wife.  Who cheerfully drove my teen to a city 30 minutes away for his date tonight. 

I have a lot to smile about.  And tomorrow is Friday. . . see me grin!