Fiona's Happy Birthday

I took not ONE picture today.  A spectacular failing that I blame on the fact that I have a nifty new to me purse that hid the camera in its depths.  My usual purse has things spilling out the top so I see them and rarely forget.  But I will have to etch the happy memories in my mind to keep for always.

Fiona was so happy to see us and so loved her gifts.  She had invited one of her friends to the party and J had a good time with us as well.  We had brunch with the school, then the party and cake, and then just sort of hung out and played a variety of games that the kids knew or created.  The really good thing is that my kids are really not super competitive in the arena of games. It is really about playing together as opposed to winning, which made a very good dynamic for both Fiona and her friend.  Part of our visit was also allowed to be unsupervised for the first time which was also pretty cool.

On the not so cool front, the cousin who was supposed to join us was a no show and a no call.  I try not to judge.  I know people have crazy things happen in their lives. But people seem to be so cavalier about letting Fiona down.  I know she loved that we were there, but she asked me if her cousin was coming.  I said to the best of  my knowledge. So I know that the pain of the absence will register and be with her, even though she greatly enjoyed her time with us.  Much is often said, and very justifiably, about adoptive families who are disrespectful of the importance and the ties of first families.  I continually find myself in a rather different scenario where the first family members seem very comfortable popping in and out with no real commitment to their kin.  This would be okay perhaps if Fiona did not have significant cognitive and mental health issues, but given that, and given the fact that this has been explained to them, it drives me round the bend.

After we left, the school population was going to go to a performance of  The Nutcracker. I was glad at a couple of levels. First, it will delay the time before Fiona really has time to think about the fact that the cousin really didn't show.  Secondly, and this is going to sound really mean--but it is something Fiona has that one of my kids here at home hasn't had.  KC desperately wants to see the Nutcracker.  And I could not afford tickets to the venue because we are saving for Florida.  I explained to him that we would do this another year but it would not be  this year.  Then Fi called last week and said she was going and KC was kind of green with envy, though very polite about it on the phone.  Fi has had to deal with the complex emotions about our trip to Florida and the fact that she is not yet at a place where she is safe enough to make such a trip with us.  So for her, having that moment to shine is really wonderful, and i have to say, KC is great about handling it.  He loves her so much that once that initial shock was over, he was great.  And he once more today was the shining star of the visit, dancing with her, thinking of games to play, cracking jokes. 

And now, it is time to think about Christmas Eve and find the stockings and check NORAD to see where Santa is so far!  :-)