Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Hurting for Fiona

Fiona didn't call last night and I was worried.  Amazing Jane did not call and say why there was no call.  I am a bit conditioned to fear the worst and in this instance, it wasn't horrible but it wasn't good.  Jane emailed me late that night and Fi had been having a rough time since our last visit.  She had spent the weekend at ER though she was back at school for Monday, she said she did not feel up to a call.  That a call soon after a visit was too hard and too much.

I know she has a good time when we are together.  I hate that it is the classic yin/gang of adoption.  Joy at being with family, sadness that she drives away when it is over.   It doesn't matter that she is of legal age. T
here will I think always be that feeling of loss.  I hate that I don't have a way to heal that.

Monday I am leaving work early so that we can drive to the Big City and see Fiona's school fashion show.  It isn't clear if she is going to be in the show or not, but we will sit and watch it with her.  Then we will hang out a bit and then head home. KC  wants his sister to be in the show, so we will see if she decides at the last minute to do it!

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