Sunday, February 12, 2012

Fiona and Rob

Fiona's school called a little while ago.  My heart jumped to my throat when the woman on the phone said who she was and where she was calling from.  All I could think of was that something was wrong.  What happened to Pollyanna? Aren't I supposed to be the one who thinks bright side first?   We've been sort of riding the dysregulation train with Fi lately and she was only recently discharged from the hospital.  Thankfully it wasn't anything horrible at all.  Fi has instead been doing spectacularly well since she got back to school.  She has earned an off campus shopping trip by remianing at one of the higher levels for a certain number of days.The problem is that she doesn't have money available for an off campus shopping trip and we all know that Fiona needs a pretty quick reward when she has been doing well. The school wanted to know if it would be okay to use a gift card that I I had given her for Christmas for the trip. H*ll yes!  I am totally fine with using the money in whatever way is best for Fi.  But it was aweseome to be asked!

In other news, Rob has had a really busy weekened.  Friday evening through Saturday afternoon he was at our UU church at a youth "con"  There were a lot of other UU youth there and he had an awesome time.  He also did not sleep all night!  He went to bed last night at 8:30 and at 7:30 this morning was still out.  You have no idea how rare that is!  Then this a.m. he was an usher at church and had his volunteer gig at an ecology center.  His night wraps up with the youth group helping our youth group make supper and play with kids that will be in a church homeless shelter.  A sister church has the space to be part of a group of churches that can offer accommodations to a number of families for 2 weeks each  year.  They do a great job, fixing rooms to look as much like real bedrooms as possible.  The sad reality is that the vast majority of participants are families.  And not necessarily single moms or dads, but often 2 parent families with two or more kids, who have been battered by the financial storms our country has faced. Our youth group does not just cook for the shelter participants. They eat with them and do crafts with the kids, giving a gift of friendship and caring that is as important as the bed they will sleep in.

As he enters his teen years, Rob has a self assurance and self awareness  that I wish Fiona had.  I know that a big part of her dx involves some mental health stuff that may have still existed if she had a more stable early childhood. But I can't help but wonder if she had been in our home by age 5 the way Rob was, if things could have been different for her.  The abuse, the stress, the multiple moves, the lost stuff, the reports not filed, my daughter has baggage so heavy I don't think I could carry it--let alone a young woman most recently labeled  as a victim of undocumented traumatic brain injury.

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