On the Net again!

I'm back!  Did you miss me?  (laughing)  Probably not, but my computer unexpectedly croaked on Friday night and I was reduced to typing on my Blackberry (which I despise as my fingers are not midget sized and I look like English is not my mother tongue because I hit so many wrong letters.) 

But at any rate, I am glad the computer doctor could resurrect my old faithful computer.  This is about a 10 y ear old desktop model but I share this setup with 3 kids so I am not upgrading anytime soon.  There is still something sort of wonky as when I type on my blog I can not see what I write.  Hence I sometimes still look like English is not my mother tongue.  However, I am rambling. . .

I freaked a bit over losing the internet as Dee emailed me on Friday.  For those who may not remember, this is Rob's older brother.  I email him regularly--say once or twice a month.  I just say hi or comment on sometning he posts on FB./  I don't want him to think I am stalking him, but I DO want the kid to know that I am open to communication whenever he is ready for it.  He visited us once and had a great time.  I think though that he was overwhelmed with feelings--relief for his brother, knowing that Rob is both safe and happy--anger and disappointment at how his own situation is so dramatically different. Loss and sadness juxtaposed with happiness and relief. The eternal yin and yang of many adoptions.

I genuinely like D.  I think he is a kid with huge potential, among which are artistic gifts. I also suspect he is a kid with a lot of challenges given what has happened in his life.  I figure the best thing I can do is what I try and do for Fiona. To show that I care. To show that I will not disappear.  You can ignore me. You can choose to not initiate, but I will just gently be there.  And hopefully, eventually, things start to feel safer and he will open up more.

I think we are approaching that a bit.  I shot him an email just before The Big Computer Crash of 2012 (LOL) and the last thing I read on my computer before I went to bed Friday was a response from him, indicating that he had missed being in contact with us and would like to work something out to connect and catch up.  I went to bed with a smile on my face and woke to find out my computer had inopportunely decided to give up the ghost and I could not write back to D.

My phone is a work phone and doesn't have fun stuff on it.  I took a huge leap and downloaded a FB app so that I could write to him in Thumblish (this would be the new language invented by the fat thumbed folk of the world who try to text and can not keep the right keys under their thumbs.) But I was at least able to get that message out to him. It was huge to me that his tentative overture not fall into what to a teen would be seen as a void.  A couple of days is a blink to an adult--to a teen, it is an eternity.  Predictably I have not yet heard back and I am not actually sure I will.  I do know I'll write again.  And again.

And Saturday Fiona is coming out for a home visit, so life is busy and good on the home front!