Rob and KC at 8

Next Tuesday, KC turns 8!  It always catches me off guard somehow when the kids are woosh--another year older. But for him, 8 is  a "big deal" birthday.  He feels like he will be soooo much bigger and able to do things that were not possible at 7.  (I think this fact is a bit tied to our upcoming Disney trip and the fact that it may make some experiences there possible.)  For me, I think it is a memorable birthday because he will be turning the same age that Rob was when he was born.  In so many ways, I see glimpses of "little Rob" in the things that KC likes and does.  Books that Rob loved then are faves of KC.  Dangerous bike tricks that made me cringe with Rob have come back to revisit my thinning hair with KC. LOL

What is different, is the expression of feelings. Rob at 8 could not do that.  It wasn't safe. It wasn't even anything he was remotely experienced in doing.  He smiled at all the right times.  He participated in the event or experience.  But he wasn't deeply connected.  He was too afraid.

When Rob was 8, I was ignorant of that.  My only other experience raising a child at that time was Chet who due to  his autism was always different in his responses.  So to me, back then, Rob was fine.  It is mostly by knowing Rob now and seeing the changes in him that I know how very not fine he was then.  And by seeing how open KC is with his thoughts and feelings as well. 

This doesn't mean I think I would have done anything differently with Rob.  In some ways, I think ignorance was bliss.  It let him take in as much as he was able without demands for more from him.  And I am a very attachment oriented parent who always has lots of cuddles, together time, notes on pillows, etc so I think he was constantly getting told  and shown how much he was loved.  It just took a long time for his heart to feel safe enough to believe it.