KC at 8

It seems silly to write that as a title. He has only been 8 for just over a month. But there has been a huge developmental leap for him that came with turning 8.  In his mind he is really a "big" kid now and is trying to be more adventurous.  He is my least adventurous child.  One who likes the same foods, the same clothes, the same stories. . . you get the drift.

Suddenly he has started trying new foods. And doing more than swallowing the required "tasting portion" whole and chasing it down quickly with beverage.  He has discovered that some new foods he actually (gasp) LIKES and this has enboldened him to try even more.  I am thrilled. It seemed for a bit there like he was going to live on plain pasta and veggie burgers forever. LOL

He has been more receptive to staying in his own bed most nights.  I am thrilled about that too.  I am a huge cosleeping proponent but he needs to be able to self soothe a bit.  One of the downsides of co-sleeping is he got so used to the sounds, scents and tactile feeling of someone else in bed that he truly misses it, even when many stuffed animal friends are there to keep him company.  But again, big progress has been made.

8 is also kind of the time that all my kids start to be more probing about their adoption stories and KC is no different.  Last night he was lying across my lap and i was rubbing his back for him while we read bedtime stories.  He seemed a bit troubled and I wasn't sure about what.  Finally he said,
  "It is very sad to have no family."
I asked what he meant.
   "Well, I had no family until you came.  I was in the hospital all alone.  I think I was scared."
My heart broke.  I reminded him that his first mother was in the hospital too and he was not ever, for one minute alone.  I told him again about the NICU and how the nurses took extra special care because he was such a teeny tiny baby, and how they spent a long time teaching Mom and I how to care for him before we brought him home.  I waited a bit and then told him he should remember he can always always talk about any questions he has about his adoption and his first mom.

He cuddled closer and sighed, and said he just wished he could hear her voice.  And that he worried that she was dead.  I said it was not likely that she was dead as we knew how old she was when she had him and that put her in her mid 30's now.  I told him about how Y wrote that she loved poetry and art and that I thought those were gifts that he has from his mother and that he will always share with her.  I reminded him that we have her picture in his very first scrapbook and that she is wearing the team shirt of the Yankees who he and I cheer on every summer.

It is all I really have that I can give him now of his story.  I don't know where Y is now or how she is doing.  I hope with all my heart that she is doing well and finished the schooling she wanted to do.  I hope someday she reads the letters I leave at the agency for her every year, telling about KC's year and filled with pictures taken all during the year.  I would love to get a call some day that she wants to meet him.  And I wish my son didn't feel this pain.