Fiona didn't call this week. She has been hospitalized for a med eval following an escalation in unsafe behaviors. Jane and I have had a lot of email contact regarding Fiona. Jane suggests that all phone calls and visits focus on the present as where she will live when she turns 22 is one of the driving forces on her anxiety train. I don't mind doing that, but I also don't think it is going to solve anything.
One of the things Fiona said when she was talking about her fears was that she acts okay a lot but that these thought are always with her. It didn't sound like teen drama to me. It sounded very real. If so, not talking is maybe a bandaid for the actual behaviors that are worrisome but I don't think anything will get better. On the other hand, I am not a therapist and could be totally out to lunch.
The only thing that Jane said in her email that ticked me off was that the reason she let Fiona ask me about living t our house was because Jane expected me to tell her that she couldn't. I told Jane I obviously flunk as a therepeutic parent because I can't say that. Do I think it will work out? No, not really. As evidenced by the need for another hospitalization. But my daughter was expressing her fear of homelessness and of having to live in a group home and meet all new people again and that she would fail and wind up like her first mom, living on the streets. To that I was supposed to say "sorry honey but you know you can't live here?" I said I would do everything I could to help her and that I would never want her to be homeless.
I told Jane in my return email she might want to cue me if there were things like that coming down the pike and if the school had a particular tactic that they were following. Meanwhile, I have not heard how Fiona is doing or when she returns to school. Sigh.
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Yeah, Jane should've given you a clue about the living with you answer. Hopefully Fiona is just going through some teenage angst and will be fine. *hugs*
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