As we move forward toward my guardianship of Fiona, my role in her life is becoming more of a "recognized" parent. The Great School in the City now calls me when there are incidents. I sometimes heard about these in the past, but know that it was not regular and usually through Jane after time had gone by.We are also having a weekend call as well as our Tuesday one. And we have a sleep over each month and at least one day visit. It is good.
Though this weekends call was not a happy one. Fiona had a significant behavioral outburst on Saturday. Staff called on Sunday (bless them, as it ended about 12:30 in the morning) and she was still not really in a good place emotionally on Sunday. Fi called me and complained at length about the staff. The trigger was a dispute over television between Fiona and another peer. It escalated dramatically from that initial altercation.
Fiona told me that she was angry that staff did not let her call the police and did not let her go to the hospital. I do know that we all feel that hospitalization is not the best course of action. There is very little if anything typically done and much of the good work that we all do is actually un-done by the different environment. Oddly enough, healthy eating for her diabetes tends to go out the window there which always strikes me as odd, and there are other issues as well.
I am not down on hospitals, I just see it as a last resort, not something we do when we don't get our own way. I think staff called her bluff a bit on it since there was no self harm going on and nothing that could not be handled by other less restrictive options.
I asked Fiona if she thought there was anything that she could do other than go to the hospital, because I really thought we should consider that as our very last step always.She said no. Eventually we made a list of things she could try to calm herself--a shower, favorite music, a PRN, a healthy snack,writing or drawing.
Mid way through she said what the real issue was. She is afraid that she will not like anyone in the new group home. She is afraid that something will go horribly wrong and she will wind up out on the street. (it was weird to me that this was her fear as that has always been my fear FOR her).
I reminded her that we were family and we were going to find a place that would be a good place to live and would be closer to us so she could be here more as well. I also said that she would not be homeless. More tears, but it seemed to be that flood that then leaves you calm. At least I hope it was. It is hard when this is by phone and you don't have any visual cues to help out. I also reminded her she is coming out here on Sunday for the family BBQ
But things seemed better today and I also got an email from Jane that DCF sent a packet that seems to indicate that they agreed to the request to relocate her case to our area!!! Jane is not 100 per cent sure that is what it means but we both hope that we are reading it correctly and that is the emails intent. It will be fantastic if that is what it is!